- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
My Fiance and I met online. Originally I was from Detroit MI and he was from Buffalo NY (roughly 250 miles apart). Currently we are living in a whole new city away from our original cities, so no matter where we held our wedding it would be long distance for someone.
We chose to host the wedding in my FI’s town because his sister was willing to do a LOT of important planning work for us, not least of all making our cake (she is a semi-professional baker and makes awesome cakes). In additional to all his sister’s help, his parents have been extremely generous with financial help. They are NOT wealthy people, yet they were still willing to offer several thousand dollars to the wedding budget. His aunt (who I had only met like once before this) even threw me a very beautiful bridal shower with some very nice gifts.
In addition, both of my parents are dead and his parents are still alive. I have nothing against my extended family, but I am not anywhere near as close to any of them as my fiance is to his parents, so that was another reason to have it where my FI’s parents live. If my parents were still alive, that of course would have been a factor in favor of doing it there. It might be worth noting that nobody from my extended family offered any sort of financial help or help of any sort (but I also didn’t ask).
However, my extended family seems to be offended that I am not hosting the wedding in the town where I grew up. In replying no to the RSVP, my aunt emailed me this comment:
“Everyone is disappointed that you did not have your wedding in Michigan. I guess [my fiance]’s family is happy for you choosing New York.
But you knew that when you chose New York.”
I am really hurt that she would say that, because I always thought that she was one of the people on that side of the family that I was closest to. I tried to explain to her before that my FI’s sister is helping out a lot and that was a factor in why we are doing the wedding there, but they seem to think that I did it to show that I don’t care about them or something.
I am not really upset about them not being there. I was very close to my parents and I wish so much that THEY were still alive to attend – that hurts me far more than anyone else’s absence will. Still, it hurts me that the surviving extended family is taking my decision this way, and acting kind of “catty” about it. 🙁
Has anyone else had this kind of reaction from family? How did you react?