- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I thought after getting married on October 20th, 2012, I would be living on Cloud 9 (at least for awhile). Instead, I feel incredibly depressed. While I watched my Mother-In-Law, Brother-In-Law, and Sister-In-Law participate ecstatically as my husband and I planned and carried out our large and beautiful wedding this year, I became increasingly CRUSHED at the realization that my own immediate family didn’t seem to care one bit.
My husband and I are in our late twenties and do well financially (slightly better than both sets of parents, actually), so we paid for 99% of the wedding expenses. This both of our first marriages. My husband’s mother felt the need to help in some way, so she paid for our rehearsal dinner, the wedding cake, and lots of other nick nacks, just because she loves us–garter, hoop skirt slip, gift box, etc.
My own mother contributed:
She contributed no money.
She asked me, “Do I really have to go to your dress fitting? It’s not like I’m getting a dress.” (She finally did show up, but acted bored).
She said she was too tired to attend the rehearsal dinner.
She left the reception immediately after cake cutting, and right before the bouquet toss.
She did not even buy us a wedding gift. Not even a card.
Instead, she bought a brand new car the day before my wedding.
As for my older sister (MOH):
Getting her to try on her bridesmaid dress was like pulling teeth. When she finally did try on a dress, I ended up having to pay for it because “She didn’t have any money.”
She was an hour late for wedding pictures with no excuse other than “I am so stressed, I think I’m going to have a panic attack.” (After which, my mother babied her and ignored me. …YOU’RE stressed? I’m the one planning and paying for a wedding BY MYSELF!)
She left the reception immediately after and right before the bouquet toss.
Please tell me how I should be feeling about all of this. Do I have a right to be upset? Or should I have expected it? My mother has always been, well… selfish. When I graduated from high school and had almost enough scholarships to cover my Freshman year of college, but needed just a couple thousand more to avoid taking out loans… My mom got lyposuction and tattooed eyeliner. I was disgusted.
My sister (MOH) has always been a Class A screwup and a drama queen. I’ve learned not to expect much of anything out of her either.
My mom invited my husband and I to her house tonight for dinner, but all she did was talk about her new car. Neither of us could even pretend to be happy or excited for her, because of how badly she had hurt me. It took everything in my power not to cry, and everything in my husband’s power not to go off on her. She never even brought up the wedding.
I want to…no, need to…tell them how I feel. But how? I want my husband to be with me when I confront them about how neglected and hurt I feel. But I am such a coward, and I rely on my husband to be the tough one and tell people what they need to hear. What should I do? I’m seriously just about ready to ignore them and distance myself from them for the rest of my life.
This really was the final straw…