(Closed) My family hates my FI

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My only suggestion, speaking from experience, is this: are they right?

I know it may be hard to look beyond the love you have, but seriously consider things for a moment. Chances are if your family/friends/etc. don’t like a guy, it’s probably for a reason that you can’t yet see.

If it’s just your parents, I know it sucks, but not much will probably change their minds…it might just be something that you will have to live with. 🙁

Post # 4
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Do they have any reason not to like him?

Post # 5
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

 I’m sorry your family isn;t being supportive 🙁 Is their a reason they dont like him? Besides that they think he’s an a-hole… does he have criminal record, bad blood between your family and him, does he not treat you well? If they dont have a reason not to like him, it seems strange that they just decided to hate on him.

Post # 6
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know most of the board does not agree with me, but I think you marry a family, not just one person.  If his family doesn’t like you, or your family doesn’t like him there is probably a reason.

 

This is not something I would let go.  I wouldn’t mention the e-mail, because you shouldn’t have seen it, but even without that you have enough to address the issue.

 

 

Post # 7
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

mimicing all three PPs. Why?

I trust my mother and love her and if she honestly didnt liky my husband, I would wonder what I wasnt seeing. 

Unless your mom has shown in the past to be over judgemental and a bad sense of character, and not just your mom, but your dada too, then I would look a little harder at your relationship.

 

Post # 8
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

As everyone else stated, is there a reason for them to dislike him? Or do they think he’s just “not good enough” for their daughter?

If it was me, I would say something to them. Find out exactly why they think poor of him. Maybe it’s over something really stupid that can easily be handled and fixed. Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m with everyone else. Why do they dislike him so much? If your parents are the type of parents that dont like anyone you’ve dated than I would just let it go but if they haven’t had a problem with your past relationships than maybe I’d consider their reasons on why they don’t like him.

Post # 11
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@tbskelly:  If there is no reason then your family is being unreasonable. Sit down with them and tell them how you feel. Let them know how happy your Fiance makes you and how much you love him and want to spend your life with him. If they love you, they should be willing to get to know him and support your marriage.

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

I think you need to have a discussion with them about their concerns. Don’t bring up the e-mail.

::ETA::

He got sick and threw up on their floor? Was he hungover? How did he react? Was he contrite/embarrassed? Were they sympathetic to him at the time? I mean, that’s a pretty terrible thing to happen when you first meet someone but it shouldn’t ruin a whole relationship.

As far as giving up the reins . . . I know that can be hard for parents but maybe you need to show them in concrete terms that he and you are doing a fine job of it together? Does he ice your family out? Like, are there things that your parents could be involved in to help ease the transition to “losing” their little girl?
 

Post # 12
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Maybe you should talk with your parents and see what they say.  Maybe he has said/done something you’re not aware of.  Maybe your parents are just afraid to let you grow up.  You won’t know unless you ask.  Good luck- and keep us posted 🙂

Post # 12
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@tbskelly:  well than personally- I see 2 options. You can either have a sit down adult conversation with your parents asking them why they treat him the way they do & what they feel is the problem. Maybe then you could voice your opinion & let them know you don’t like the way they treat him & that he does treat you well, etc. The other option would be to just ignore them and go on with your wedding without their support.

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