Post # 1
I’m with my Fiance almost 3 years. We got engaged last summer. I’m getting married next summer to the love of my life.
I’m 21 he is 30. I got engaged last year and booked my wedding but my family are so disinterested. My mother and father hate social gatherings, my 2 sisters are bitter and my brother just doesn’t care. It has nothing to do with my sisters not wanting me to fall down the wrong path or anything like that they really don’t care about me. I live an hour and a half away from home they all phone eachother but I never get a call from them looking to see if i am ok. My first sister married and is now separated. She always told me our other sister was her favourite and also told my niece she is not coming to my wedding because of a fight that happened 6 months ago. When i got engaged she laughed and asked me if I pregnant. My other sister can’t afford to get married due to a lot of loans she took out in her 20’s putting her in financial debt. When i told her i got engaged her guy said that they are happy not married and he didnt even congratulate my fiance until my sister told him to. My brother even asked 2 weeks ago was it this year we are getting married. My problem is that I am so quiet and shy and i also suffer from clinical depression and i find it hard to ask them, “do they care?”. I thought families would show some interest but mine don’t. No one asks me how they can help. Me and my fiance are paying for our wedding because no one will help his parents are both dead. Its not even about financial help. Its about being interested. My two bridesmaids who are my sister and niece don’t even want to be bridesmaids but i begged them as i don’t have anyone else and it was like pulling teeth. I was getting to a stage of even thinking of going to buy my wedding dress on my own because I would feel awkward if they came, because i know they don’t care. Which is why I want to go by myself but my partner thinks its so sad that none one
wants to go.with me. I’m not even thinking of having a hen party because i know asking them will be like pulling teeth.
I booked my wedding at a gorgeous hotel and church here and I was so exciting thinking they would too. But no . I told my parents about the venue etc and they told my siblings who didnt even ring and ask about it. So instead me and my fiance canceled it because I’m afraid when i get married that all i’ll be worried about is how bitter and unhappy they are for me. Instead we are getting married in italy just the too of us so i can enjoy my day. I want to tell them but i want to say it in a way that they understand why i had to change the wedding. Deep down i’d rather spend the money on us than people who don’t give a care about me. None of my family not even my mom are asking or showing interest and im heart broken. I told them this already 6 months ago how it hurts me but they ignored my feeling and still dont show any interest. Is this normal? Why do I feel so upset about it ? I need advice.
This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by BlueBird95.
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
In all honesty, no one will be as excited about your wedding as you are. I don’t think this should necessarily be interpreted as them being bitter and unhappy, just that it’s much more important to you than it is to them, which is understandable. Have the wedding you want and be happy because you’re marrying the man of your dreams.
Post # 3
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
I have a feeling that there’s something more going on, maybe related to the fight. I think you should sit down and talk with your sisters and patch things up. We get a lot of brides here who complain that their friends aren’t super excited, and the above post applies to that situation, but it’s odd that you needed to beg family members to be your bridesmaid. I really think you should talk to them and see what’s going on.
But yes, no one will be as interested as you. My mother does not care at all about my wedding. At first it hurt a bit. Now I realise that her reluctance has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her own issues regarding marriage. Don’t take it personally.
“I never get a call from them looking to see if i am ok” –> do you ever call them? I know it’s hard when you’re shy and suffer from depression, but it’s just something you need to do to maintain relationships.
I’m sure eloping in Italy will be wonderful and romantic! Enjoy 🙂
Post # 4
I’m in a bit of the same situation. My family doesnt love me and I am just a burden on them. People don’t understand when I tell them because they can’t comprehend how that’s possible. BUt my dad has told me that he had children just because he felt like htat was what he was supposed to do and he wouldn’t do it again if he could go back.
My mom abandonned me compeltely and my dad, sister and grandmother were all I had even though they treated me like a burden. Over the recent Jewish holidays they were so horrible to me that my fiance and I were just in shock and now two months out from our wedding have no idea what to do. I don’t want to be around these people on such a special day of my life, or do any of the things wedding wise that I conceded to them. It’s too late for us to elope like you did but we are trying to actually see if we can make something like that work.
Honestly if your family is anything like mine then you are smart to plan to elope for the begining and make it just about the two of you. I wish I could go back and do that.
I have no one now to go with me to my final dress fitting or help me with anything and im crumbling. So if you are anywhere in the Toronto area we could always help each other 😛
Good luck with the wedding it’s going to be amazing and romantic in Italy.
Post # 5
You are starting your own life and will build your own family. The support and life encouragement you need is right there with you already standing beside you.
Personally I like the elopement idea better. I want to do it. I just want it to be between fi and I. Because when it comes down to it that’s who it is between. I don’t need a bunch of people to watch us, I don’t need a big party to celebrate. I want a very intimate ceremony where we commit our love to each other.
You don’t always get the family you want or wish you had. But you are young and you now get to build your family yourself.