My family makes me feel horrible for not being able to afford christmas

posted 8 months ago in Holidays
Post # 31
Member
1435 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Kslim13 :  about your sister and the baby registry — do you know she feels the way you say or are you guessing? Maybe she is excited about a niece or nephew. Maybe your mom is spurring all this gift talk and not your sister.

Maybe you should ask your sister if she is upset. It could be just your mom talking about all this.

Post # 32
Member
1435 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Kslim13 :  I agree about amazon. Those who say the majority of Amazon packages go through usps don’t know how amazon works. Amazon has drivers like Uber who take prime items. Amazon also fulfills to get the package to your local post office. It doesn’t go through usps except at the end of delivery.  And yes, packages can be late. Things happen.  There was nothing wrong with you ordering it if amazon said it would be on time. I had amazon lose a package AND one even was 5 days late. Both were prime packages. 

Do not be ashamed just because you didn’t have money to spend until late in the season. 

Post # 33
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

You can afford Christmas.  Christmas is free.  There’s no price tag for celebrating the birth of baby Jesus.  You can afford the secular version of Christmas, too.  Fellowship and family are also free. 

Gifts are not obligations.  I seriously recommend developing (and articulating) boundaries around your family of origin.  If something isn’t up for discussion or negotiation, tell them so.

Post # 34
Member
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I agree with everyones comments regarding establishing boundaries. I think that’s key. 

For what it’s worth, 5 gifts for your nephew in my opinion is extremely generous. My family buys for the kids (I have 4 nieces/nephews) and I typically get them one gift each. Christmas isn’t about presents, it’s about spending time with family. I have no doubt that if one year I couldn’t afford gifts that my family would still welcome me 100% without any question. 

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