- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
ssiiiggghhhhh…. I had SUCH a hard day today. I just need to vent. Please bare with me!!
So I told my parents today that Fiance and I got engaged. I live about a 2 hour drive away from them, and due to school and other obligations this was the first time I could make it home to tell them the good news (we’ve been engaged 2 weeks). Fiance and I sat down with my parents, and I explained that I brought them all here together for a special purpose, that Fiance recently asked for my hand in marriage, and I joyfully accepted it. Their reaction? My mom got upset, started to cry, and walked away from the table. My dad (the calmer of the 2) explained that she was just unprepared for it (uh… hello, we’ve been dating for almost 4 years, how did you NOT see this coming??). We got through the evening ‘okay’, and we left off in relatively good terms. They welcomed Fiance to the family, and it was quite civil after the first hour or so.
Then, when Fiance leaves my parents start interrogating me about EVERYTHING. Have I booked the venue, looked into a church, thought about guest lists, etc. etc. etc. Everything that I HAVE done, is ‘wrong’. Everything that I HAVEN”T done, I should have already done, because don’t you know people book halls 2 years in advance. THEN, my mom calls my aunt, and they talk about it for like an hour, treating it like more of a death than a wedding!! Why so soon? What if you find someone else? Why not finish school first? (We’re both doing post-graduate schooling, so we’ll be in our 30s before being “done school”). We’re young (I’m 22, and he’s 25) but not THAT young, and I know what I’m doing, and I believe that marriage is forever. I KNOW how big of a deal this is, and I’m excited to take that step with Fiance. It’s not that they don’t like him, they DO, they’ve expressed that he’s a good guy, and we’re good together, and so it’s nothing against him, just the concept of me being married.
Why can’t they just be happy for me? Why is this so hard for them to accept, and not make me feel like I’m making the biggest mistake of my life? I’m their only daughter, and only child, and first of my cousins to get married (although I have a few cousins a few years older than me). Perhaps it’s just that I’m the ‘trailblazer’ that it’s such a big deal? I don’t know. Have any bees had less than favorable responses from their parents (or FI’s parents)? How did you deal with the period until they “came around”? I could really use some help, support, and some kind words to assure me that this is all going to be okay!