(Closed) My family’s conspiracy to ruin the harmony of my relationship!!!! (VENT)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Gee, if I didn’t know any better I would say your sister is deliberately trying to massacre your wedding plans 🙁 and your family aren’t trying to stop her. You are perfectly reasomable to be upset and mad at them, as they seem to embracing all this nonsense, rather than setting her straight with harsh reality. Although some of your plans aren’t set in stone you have forewarned your family of timings and when it will happen, it’s not exactly your plans are rushed and out of blue like your sisters.

Personally I would carry on about your plans as normal. If you and your SO want to marry in August 2012, then continue to do so, and do whatever you want to be happy. It’s your wedding, your family cannot exactly say that you are being selfish or that the plans are unexpected, as they knew it was going to happen there and then.

By the sounds of it your sisters relationship sounds fickle and a bit rushed into. Usually these marriages never work out, epecially if she was having doubts of even staying with her guy. You have something 99% better, and I can only think she is desperate to emulate that for herself.

Let her have her day, let yourself have yours. Deep down your family will know which wedding is right, and hopefully your relatives from out of town will understand how you are feeling, they may not choose to go to your sisters wedding if it has been planned spontaneously.

I can only wish you good luck, sibling rivalry is never pretty.. but, she is still acting like an immature 19 year old, and nothing lasting can ever come from that.

Post # 4
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Man, that is rough…I know you’re really upset now because she’s being so selfish, and this suggestion might seem completely insane, but maybe you guys could have a joint wedding? At least your family could all attend! Hugs and I hope she grows up soon!

Post # 5
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would ignore her completely and do your thing. Dont’ make any changes for her, and if people choose to be there for her/help her over you, then so be it. Do you honestly believe that she will still be getting married come August?

Post # 8
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I say carry on as planned.  Given your sisters drama already with her Boyfriend or Best Friend, I’d be amazed if their wedding will actually happen.

Somedays I am so glad I don’t have real siblingsSmile

Post # 9
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

You are not being irrational, you are not losing your mind, you are thinking logically and don’t sound childish. If anything, your sister and family are being irrational and acting illogically.

 

Post # 10
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I can totally understand that you’re upset and I know what it’s like to feel like you had the carpet pulled out from under you. BUT this seems like something you should keep to yourself. She, like you, has every right to have the wedding she wants when she wants. While it would be nice if she would take your wedding into account, there’s not much anyone can do to make her and I don’t think it’s worth starting a family rift. I say, just focus on enjoying the lead up to your own wedding and don’t get too wrapped up in what she is/isn’t doing about hers.

Post # 11
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think that you’re being irrational.  I think she is being an immature teenager and trying to rush into something without thinking about what the repercussions for all those around her are.  I’d be pretty mad, both at her and at your family for letting her act that way!!

Post # 14
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

WOW! Your sister sounds really impulsive and selfish, and I’m really sorry you’re having to go through this! That is definitely a really rough situation.

Also that whole “you get one day” thing is totally thrown out the window when it’s your SISTER and it’s within WEEKS and you have family coming in from all over the world.

I wonder that your family are going along with it because they don’t think it’s really going to happen? Either way, it’s still really unfair to you.

I vote say something……a lot of times being the mature one as you clearly are, people just kind of assume you’ll be ok with things, or you’ll get over it, and this is too important to let them think that.

I think there is a way to make your feelings clear without screaming and crying and making a scene, so they will (hopefully) actually hear what you’re saying and listen. Although I would probably do it when your sister isn’t around…

Post # 16
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I totally agree with you, but just to play devil’s advocate and help you put together your thoughts: when else could your sister have her wedding? I feel like it would be hard for her to put her wedding off an entire year– I know everyone can’t wait to marry their Fiance, so suggesting she can’t get married til 2013  probably wouldn’t go over well.  Is there another time that might work well for her? 

What might also help for you is to pick a date.  I know you don’t want to plan early, but you’re only 8 months away from August and you probably should be giving relatives a notice soon. Find your venue and secure a spot– that way your wedding is officially planned and you can send out Save-The-Date Cards to international travelers quickly.  Your sister’s date is still up in the air, and having yours nailed down is going to make yours look less rushed, more official, and non-negotiable.

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