- 9 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
i don’t even know where to beign. but i thought it might help to get some others perspectives. first of all, let me tell you that i am on this site as a regular poster and i made this pseudo name because i want to remain annonymous. i am starting with this because i swear my story will sound un-believable and i want you to know its real and i am not a troll!
since we were kids, my sister and i always knew my dad cheated on my mom. we found an annonymous letter my mom had received and hid in her drawer. also, my dad didn’t come home on weekend nights quite often. he would say he stayed at a male friend’s house. growing up it was normal. my mom accepted it and so did we. no one ever talked about it. and when my dad was there, we did all sorts of family stuff together. vacations, dinners, birthdays, you name it.
as i got older, i became more aware that this was not right. i would try to hide it from my friends and lie if they asked about my dad. just as my mom did. as i became an adult, it became harder to ignore. but thats how my family was. my sister and i would talk about it sometimes and have in depth conversations about what we thought and what evidence we had and how we didn’t understand my mom for staying with him…. my mom then would sometimes become open about it and be angry and say she is tired of him “running around on her”. then we all would go back into denial and pretend we didn’t notice that my dad didn’t come home on saturday nights. then my sister moved out and got married. then i moved out. and then it seemed my Dad stopped caring to hide. now it has somehow evolved into him only sleeping at the house with my mom maybe 3 – 4 nights a week. and not coming home AT ALL on the weekends. to this day, i still have not confronted him.
i have gathered much more evidence and whenever i uncover it, it sickens me. i have been in Dads email account when he left it open and see emails he has written to his lovers. i have seen text messages on his phone – so i got their phone numbers and know where they live. i have more stuff like that that i wont get into.
last summer we found out he has another kid. my mom told my sister or my sister over heard my mom talking to her friend on the phone (i can’t remember which). my mom found out because she saw an email he was writing to his other daughter. me and my sister were shocked. but like always before, we had our in depth conversation and went back about our lives. i just slowly started to hate and loathe my father. and lose all respect for him. and feel such a deep sadness for my mother and her life. Especially since i got engaged this has bothered me to whole new levels. i finally talked to my mother about it last summer before i moved out of state and told her we support her in whatever she does and it is never too late to leave him. she only has a high school degree and feels she can’t support herself. so she keeps saying “one day” or “when they sell the business” – my parents own a business and have worked together for the past 30 years or so.
i finally told my Fiance everything this last summer. i had never told a boyfriend before about my Dad, i was too embarassed. FI was surprised and he comforted me. well now we are temporarily long distance as i am away from my home town for the year for a job. FI was with me, but now he had to go back home for a bit and is staying with my parents. i wont give all the details, but basically i was able to get ahold of some digitial pictures that shows my father with another family in a hotel on a weekend getaway. there is a mother, who my dad is with, pictures of them together in bed (not racy, just sitting in bed like a couple with kids in the room). his arm around her. then there is a teenage boy who LOOKS LIKE MY FATHER. i am 100% positive that this boy must be my father’s son. which makes him my half-brother. there are 2 other kids too in the pictures. a teenage girl who i cant tell if i am related to or not. and a young boy where there is a picture of him and my father holding each other tight like father and son. my father actually looks really happy in this picture. more happy than i have ever seen.
today, my Fiance forwarded me an email from my father’s i-phone that was written to his daughter possibly living in the UK (we live in north america). we know this was another daughter because he signed the email “daddy” and my Fiance said he saw other emails from her saying “hi daddy”. this is possibly the same daughter my mother saw him writing to.
so basically my dad has potentially 4 other kids that i KNOW about. and i have seen emails to at least TWO mistresses. maybe more. one of the sickest things is that my dad doesn’t even hide it anymore. one of the women called my dad today. my mom answered the phone and she asked to speak to my dad. apparently he bought her appliances off her and gave her money. my mom was so pissed and said this was the last straw. she called someone to come put them in the street for garbage (i am talking about a washer and dryer here!). so basically my family is finally falling apart and i am so scared and sad and i just have no idea what i can do.
i hate him so much for doing this to our family. i want to confront him, but i don’t know how after all these years. and unless i show him the hard cold evidence that i have, he will deny it to my face like he does to my mother. i want to scream at him and i want to cry and i want to pretend like i don’t care and just get married and be happy and pretend that this hasn’t been affecting me my whole life.
there is not many people i can talk to so i decided to turn here for some support and any advice i am willing to listen to.
i could contact the teenage girl on facebook. i found her account and saw that she posted the pics of that weekend getaway with my fathers face all over them.