(Closed) My father doesn't want to go to my destination wedding

posted 5 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 31
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I disagree w/ the first person as well.  If she knew her Dad was sick and couldn’t plan a destination wedding and got mad when he couldn’t go, that’s one thing.  But he’s not going because he doesn’t like beach vacations?  THAT’S selfish.

I’m sorry OP.  It sounds like your Dad has some inner demons he needs to address that have absolutely nothing to do with you.

Does he like/get along w/ your FH?

Post # 32
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Do you want to make your father to like your fiancé more? Do you want to use the wedding as a way to start getting closer to him? Is it ok if he doesn’t come and from now on you guys will probably only drift apart more?

 

Post # 33
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I am guessing your dad does not have a passport which adds to the complexity of having a destination wedding in the carribean.  Is it possible he would be more supportive of a beach wedding in the the country?

Post # 35
Member
1405 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am not a fan of destination weddings, due to the burden they put on the guests. Nevertheless, I am a mother, and can tell you that I would travel to China if need be in order to be there on this special day for my daughter. (Though I might ask her to reconsider first).

I am sorry, bee. Your only other alternative is to keep this trip as your honeymoon, and do a small wedding here before you leave. But it doesn’t even sound certain he would come to that, given that he said that the wedding is not the important part of a marriage.

Post # 36
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
sess:  I completely understand. I’m getting married in FL (from NC) and my dad doesn’t want to / probably won’t go. He says his “anxiety is too bad to drive that far” and doesn’t understand “why I can’t just get married at home like normal.” Before anyone goes and gets their panties in a wad, I am very aware that anxiety is real & a true disorder; however, he is NOT referring to a true medical condition. I’m sorry your dad is raining on your parade… while you do have the right to be hurt, don’t let it get to you. Express your feelings but keep on planning your awesome wedding. The ones who want to be there will <3 

Post # 37
Member
7881 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
sess:  What does your dad’s partner think? She likes beaches! Could she talk some sense into him? 

Post # 38
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall

If your father is more than financially capable of going to you Destination Wedding, then yes, you have a right to be upset. I don’t care if “his personality” is like that, like a PP said, it’s not a vacation, it’s a wedding, his daughter’s wedding. I don’t care if the wedding is in the darn moon, he needs to be there. And if a wedding isn’t a big deal to him (which we can clearly see, it isn’t) he needs to stop his childish selfish act and see how it is a big deal to his daughter (have you told him it’s a big deal? Like, actually spoken the words to express how important it is?). 

You have a right to be hurt, I’d be way more than hurt, I’d be livid.

Post # 39
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall

After reading the updates, I’d say it’s best if you keep your original plans, tell him you’re sorry and hurt he can’t go and then move on. If he doesn’t even approve of your FH (for such silly reasons as race) that’s his problem! I love my father, but if he didn’t approve my bf (for superficial reasons like that, not actual reasons) I probably would prefer he stay away from the wedding. He probably will bring people down with his funky attitude, probably all pouting and such. 

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