Post # 1
I am going through a horrible situation and I don’t know what to do. My father was diagnosed with secondry cancer a few weeks ago, and it is so agressive that his doctors estimate he only has a week or so to live, but any day now could be his last. We were supposed to be getting married in a year, however we moved the wedding forwrad as soon as we found out that my dad was sick. It is now 4 days until we are supposed to be married. It was his dying wish to see his only daughter get married. He and I have always been extremely close and I am just heartbroken and am already heavily grieving. I feel that we need to postpone the wedding for a few months so that I can be by my Dad’s side. The wedding is a 2 hour drive away and I can’t bear the thought of being away from him when he has such little time left. Not to mention that I am his only family besides his brother, who has just arrived from the USA to be here with him, as we are in Australia. I thought that perhaps we could have a tiny ceremony at home so that he can see me married before he dies, and then have our ‘real’ wedding a few months down the track. My fiance’s family are not being very understanding, which has shocked and hurt me deeply. They know my father well and live 3 streets away, and are the ONLY people who are more concerned that some guests may be inconvenienced than what it best for us. We are only having a small wedding of 60 with close family and friends, and my opinion is that if they can’t understand the situation, well then I don’t want people like that in my life anyway, and certainly not at my wedding. I am so hurt by my Future Mother-In-Law and the way that she is pushing us to still have the wedding. We have paid for our wedding in full and we won’t lose a cent if we postpone. All of our wonderful wedding suppliers have been absolutely amazing and so understanding, as have my friends and family. Why can’t his family be the same. It makes me wonder what I am marrying into to be honest. My fiance feels stuck in the middle, which I can understand, but he is trying to be as supportive as possible. Does anyone have any advice or have and of you gone through something similar? Please help!
Post # 3
@celestina: First of all, my condolences go out to you. What an awful situation for you to be put in.
I think that you and your fiance need to decide what to do without worrying about his unsupportive family. In the long run, it’s what you as a couple want to do that is truly going to matter, not whether his family was being petty or not.
I think the idea of getting married in a small ceremony at home is really beautiful, and you could always have the wedding you originally planned in the future. My heart goes out to you.
Post # 4
I am so sorry what a heartbreaking thing to go through:( Do what will bring you the most peace. If getting married in a private little ceremony first in front of your father will give you a memory you will always cherish then do so. Honestly, do not worry about your Future Mother-In-Law and family at this point. If they push you into not doing something that would regret after your father is gone you will always resent them. I don’t see the harm in this case to do a tiny ceremony at home and have the wedding later. I can’t imagine people not understanding that. I think that will make you happier on your “big” wedding day knowing your father already saw you marry vs. you just thinking the whole day that he never got to be there to see it. Hugs.. hang in there.
Post # 5
@celestina: I am so sorry, my heart is breaking for you. I would absolutely have the smaller ceremony with your father. This means a lot to both of you, I’m sure. And you Future In-Laws can shut up, honestly. How horrible of them to be more concerned about guests that the bride and her father in such a difficult time.
Post # 6
I am so sorry for what all youre going through ::hugs:: !!!
Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t care what ANYONE else thought on my decision to have a home ceremony to give my father peace at his passing. Shame on your fiance’s family for being selfish and unsupportive! How would they feel if they would be in this situation?
You already said yourself that you will lose no money by post poning so I would just do that! Post pone and have a small home ceremony in honor of your father so that you can have that memory!!
It’s alot better than regretting it and wishing you had for the rest of your life..
Post # 7
I am so sorry for what you’re going through. I think everyone would understand you having a small marriage ceremony at home, and then having the reception later. Your FIL’s will just have to get over themselves.
Post # 8
I agree with you that it would be nice to have a full ceremony later but something small now. Don’t let the future in laws get to you. all you need to worry about if Fiance. If you get married and things turn around then your dad will be at the larger ceremony too. My teacher had a last minute turn around. If all else seems lost then ask your dad what he would have you carry to represent him at the larger ceremony. Perhaps he has a small token you can put on your bouquet to represent him there with you in spirit. I am so sorry you are going through this. My prayers are with you and I hope you can find a way to make this work for you
Post # 9
Get married ASAP with your dad, have a larger reception with family later on- once you are ready. Absolutely, no question.
Post # 10
My prayers and thoughts are with you in this difficult time. I would do a small ceremony ASAP and you can have something else later on. Sorry you have to deal with Fiance family.
Post # 11
I am so sorry you are goin through this ((Hugs)).
The only thing you will ever regret is your dad missing your big day, you will not regret inconveniencing your guests or pissing off your Fi’s fam.
Now get of WB and Organise a celebrant and a bunch of flowers, grab your outfits and head to your fathers bed. Get married asap. Then post pone the other wedding.
Post # 12
I am so sorry. Don’t worry about anyone else. Your fiancé and you need to figure this out. *hugs*
Post # 13
I know this sounds strange, but is it at all possible to have a small ceremony at your dads bedside while your guests wait for you at your reception? At least this way your dad will not miss your wedding.
Post # 14
Simpleandchic is spot on.
Post # 15
Let your father see you married. If it’s his one last wish, and you can do it, do it. I lost my mother to cancer before I got engaged, and now I’m planning my wedding, the only thing I want that I can’t have, is that she could be there with me.
God bless you and your father, and I hope you manage to do what is best for you