Post # 1
My father died unexpectedly about a year and a half ago, and I don’t know who I should have walk me down the aisle. My father was my best friend and the most important person in my life, and when he died a lot me died with him. In the last year and a half I’ve found more comfort in my now fiance than anyone else, as he was there for me and living with me through every ounce of pain. My problem is, my mother asked and expected that she would be the one to walk me down the aisle. I love my mother greatly, and told her that I would like that. Now, however, as I’ve begun planning, reading, and thinking, I would much rather walk myself and have my fiance meet me halfway. I don’t know how to bring the subject up without hurting my mother. I intend on having my father-daughter dance be with my mother, but I feel the walk down the aisle would mean much more to me and feel more “right” if it were alone. Any advice?
This topic was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by slianne.
Post # 2
You can say it exactly like that. If she is your mother she should understand. I’d be 100% sure you aren’t going to change your mind later though and want it back – that’s not something you can really go back and forth on.
Post # 3
I would just tell her the walking down the aisle feels like a dad job and you feel like given his passing, you would like to honor him by walking alone.
Give her another job. Can she, say, walk you into the ceremony, and let you go from there?
Post # 4
I agree with PPs, but I also think that something that might be nice for you, and help it make more sense to your mother, is if you have a small picture of your father, maybe tied around your bouquet, to make it feel even more like he is with you.
Post # 5
My father has passed away too. At first I thought my brother could walk me down the aisle, but then I thought that was a little sexist, when my mother is alive, to choose a teenager to play a parent’s role just because he’s male. I considered having my mother do it. At the end though decided that I would walk together with my SO.
In my opinion, don’t tell her that it’s a father’s job, but just that you would rather do it with your FI and not have anyone give you away. I think your mother would understand. Tell her about the dance and make her feel loved and appreciated in other ways.
Post # 6
slianne: Do you have any brothers? I’d have a brother walk me down the aisle.. But if you don’t then walking down the ailse alone is not a bad thing. If your mother is understanding then she won’t be upset that you rather walk the aisle with a brother or alone and have your future husband meet you half way.
Post # 7
I am walking alone down the aisle, even though my father is alive. Its complicated as most things are but I feel right walking by myself. I do agree with pp to make sure you are 100% positive on what you want before talking to your mother.
Post # 8
I say whoever you want, whether that person is another man, a woman, or nobody.
Post # 9
Both of my parents have passed away. My grandfather Was going to do it but he passed away the day after we got engaged. Now I’m walking myself. I don’t see any problem with telling your mom exactly what you typed and maybe giving her another job to do the day of!