(Closed) My father will not attend his own daughter’s wedding

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
46408 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Unfortunately, in too many cases being an adult does not mean being mature.

Parents who are unable to respect the choices you make as an adult are showing their immaturity. If you won’t play by his rules, he’s going to go home.

I am sorry that your Dad has made this choice. he will miss out on this joyous occasion when is daughter weds the man of her dreams.

Post # 4
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Itziar:  Hi there! Sorry to hear another bride is having to deal with this additional stress…

I am going through something somewhat similar with my fiance’s father. They are a Catholic family (I grew up Free Methodist). His father has openly stated that he does not want to financially support a wedding that they do not personally support (due to us choosing to not get married in the Catholic church) but still plan on having 50% of the guest list as their family (maybe even more!).

I think what it comes down to is being the bigger person (still send them an invite, tell them you feel sorry that they feel that way and hope that they will reconsider, but ultimately, you are going to do your wedding, your way).

I think that as long as you and your fiance are happy with your decision, then that is all that matters. It is your wedding after all, its not like you dictated how they ran their wedding! I don’t get how people think that it is okay to give you a guilt trip for not doing it their way (especially when it comes to religion). How “Christian” is that? Hypocritical, if you ask me. 

Post # 5
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Yikes, that’s just awful.  I’m really sorry that your parents are choosing to lose out on celebrating such a wonderful moment in their daughter’s life.  I can’t imagine how you must feel right now.  🙁

 

Hopefully they come to their senses beforehand!

Post # 6
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

hope your family can figure it all out.

Maybe just point out that with how its going, they’re either going to lose a daughter or gain a son. 

 Best wishes  

Post # 7
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

It has to really be hard to think of your day and not have your family be there. I had family also choose not to come because our church was not in the Catholic church. That being said, I think we all make choices when planning our wedding and there will be consequences for those choices, unfortunately. We say here all the time that it is one day, you can’t expect people to go against their moral or beliefs and pretend to support something that in their hearts the believe is wrong, for one day.

Post # 8
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I like what jbrunelle said, she’s right you should be the bigger person. Maybe send them a heartfelt note that you would love for them to be there and support your marriage. I don’t know but I am big on working things out even if it means some sort of concession for them. I am not saying do it their way just in some way honor their beliefs. The thing is they will always be your family and things are so much easier on a marriage if the family is behind you. Not to mention it’s a tough way for your fiancé to be initiated into the family. It is tough but your parents aren’t likely to change at this point in life 🙁

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