Post # 1
I was raised in a Catholic family (super hardcore catholic) but as i grew up i decided to go a different direction, i consider myself agnostic.
I met the love of my life 1year and 4 months ago and about 9 months ago we moved to New Orleans together. Mom and dad were NOT happy abuot it. They barely talk to me and when mom does its always to remind me of my sins and how i am insulting god.
Anyways, i am very close with my 2 brothers and the youngest still lives at home back in California. he talked to my dad about the wedding and such and dad told him he would not go to my wedding because he wants us to get married by the church. Mom sends me religious mails all the time thinking it will change my mind. Now she decided to email my fiance and ask him to read the Catholic catechism and pretty much she told him not to marry me if it was not by the church because he was making me sin.
I am 25 years old…i think i KNOW what i want, i know what I believe and i just cant find a way to deal with the reality that my parents refuse to be there with me in such an important even.
I just want to read comments, opinions…maybe somebody went through the same problems i am giong through.
Oh and by the way…right after trying my dress is when i found out about the news of them not attending…..
Post # 3
Unfortunately, in too many cases being an adult does not mean being mature.
Parents who are unable to respect the choices you make as an adult are showing their immaturity. If you won’t play by his rules, he’s going to go home.
I am sorry that your Dad has made this choice. he will miss out on this joyous occasion when is daughter weds the man of her dreams.
Post # 4
@Itziar: Hi there! Sorry to hear another bride is having to deal with this additional stress…
I am going through something somewhat similar with my fiance’s father. They are a Catholic family (I grew up Free Methodist). His father has openly stated that he does not want to financially support a wedding that they do not personally support (due to us choosing to not get married in the Catholic church) but still plan on having 50% of the guest list as their family (maybe even more!).
I think what it comes down to is being the bigger person (still send them an invite, tell them you feel sorry that they feel that way and hope that they will reconsider, but ultimately, you are going to do your wedding, your way).
I think that as long as you and your fiance are happy with your decision, then that is all that matters. It is your wedding after all, its not like you dictated how they ran their wedding! I don’t get how people think that it is okay to give you a guilt trip for not doing it their way (especially when it comes to religion). How “Christian” is that? Hypocritical, if you ask me.
Post # 5
Yikes, that’s just awful. I’m really sorry that your parents are choosing to lose out on celebrating such a wonderful moment in their daughter’s life. I can’t imagine how you must feel right now. 🙁
Hopefully they come to their senses beforehand!
Post # 6
hope your family can figure it all out.
Maybe just point out that with how its going, they’re either going to lose a daughter or gain a son.
Post # 7
It has to really be hard to think of your day and not have your family be there. I had family also choose not to come because our church was not in the Catholic church. That being said, I think we all make choices when planning our wedding and there will be consequences for those choices, unfortunately. We say here all the time that it is one day, you can’t expect people to go against their moral or beliefs and pretend to support something that in their hearts the believe is wrong, for one day.
Post # 8
I like what jbrunelle said, she’s right you should be the bigger person. Maybe send them a heartfelt note that you would love for them to be there and support your marriage. I don’t know but I am big on working things out even if it means some sort of concession for them. I am not saying do it their way just in some way honor their beliefs. The thing is they will always be your family and things are so much easier on a marriage if the family is behind you. Not to mention it’s a tough way for your fiancÃ© to be initiated into the family. It is tough but your parents aren’t likely to change at this point in life 🙁