- 8 years ago
Good evening, bees. Hope all is well in ‘waiting land’. I hate to be a downer, but I’m a bit of a mess tonight, so I was hoping for some good old hive support and love.
In my last post, I mentioned that my SO had oh-so-skillfully sized my ring finger while I slept, making it quite clear that we were definitely getting closer to the wonderful moment of proposal. I am trying to be as patient as possible, but I’m excited that he is moving in the right direction! However, recent events in my family have made me feel less patient, and more frantic about having things progress at a quicker pace.
See, my father had a severe heart attack last year and nearly passed away on the operating table. At the last minute, a brilliant heart surgeon placed several stents in my father’s remaining artery (the other is blocked solid) and saved his life. Unfortunately, he was too weak to survive bypass, so stents were the only option. He was diagnosed with moderate congestive heart failure, and had a defibrillator inserted to help his heart cope. He made a great deal of lifestyle changes and really made an excellent turn around. He’s eating right, exercising, keeping up with his medications and doctor’s appointments and generally making an impressive effort. Recently, he had been experiencing shortness of breath and related anxiety and has gone to the ER twice to receive oxygen treatment. He had an X-ray done today that showed some fluid in his lungs, which may be related to pulmonary edema – a severe side effect of CHF (congestive heart failure). He is checking into the hospital (outpatient wing) tomorrow for an angiogram to see if his stents are now causing any blockage. They may also do a procedure to reduce the build up in his lungs that is making it difficult for him to breath.
Basically, I am terrified. I am a complete and total daddy’s girl and talk to my father at least twice a day. He is my rock, my heart, and one of my best friends. I understand that once someone is diagnosed with CHF, it’s more often than not, what will end up taking their life. I also know that his health can be maintained and medications can certainly extend his life. His doctor knows he is doing the best he can. My dad looks great and has quite an energetic personality considering what he went through. But the entire left side of his heart is gone. Deep down, I know he’s walking on thin ice.
I don’t really want to rush an engagement and plan a wedding in a time-crunch, crisis mode. However, there is nothing in the world more than important to me (besides marrying this wonderful man of mine) than my dad being a part of my wedding, holding my mom’s hand, so I can honor their marriage. I can’t put all my eggs in one basket – at this point, I don’t know if he will ever meet his future grandchildren, and that kills me. But if there is any chance he can still give me away on my wedding day, that is all I ask. I don’t know how to approach this. I know my SO has not asked my father’s permission quite yet, but in some ways, I really want him to do it sooner rather than later.
Have any of you been in a similar situation? Any words of advice? If anything, please keep my father in your prayers. I so appreciate it.