(Closed) My Father’s Health vs. The Waiting Process

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I will definitely be sending good thoughts & prayers your way.  Your daddy sounds like an amazing and much-loved man.  *Hugs*

Post # 5
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Sorry to hear about your father, I hope his surgery is successful. He sounds like a strong man and a fighter. Please talk to your SO about the fears you have concerning your fathers health.

Post # 6
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

((Hugs)) definitely talk to your SO about this. I moved my wedding up (after trying to move it back) when I discovered that my dad was given 18 months to live in April. I am sooo glad that I moved everything up because he is getting sicker by the day but there are still wonderful glimpses of his personality there.

I am praying for you.

Post # 7
193 posts
Blushing bee

@izziebear: I agree, definetly talk to him. Just tell him how important it is to you to have your father give you away.

I hear what you’re saying though: My grandmother is almost 90 years old. She’s very frail, soft spoken, and doesn’t leave the house much anymore. It would break my heart if she wasn’t there on my wedding day. She has been to everyone’s wedding (all my cousin’s, brothers, etc), and has seen everyone’s children (she’s a great grandmother now). It would upset me to the core if she was not around to see my wedding or my children. I would feel like I disappointed her. She always says to me (in her cute little italian accent): “You get married before I die. Not much time.” I know that deep in my heart that there’s an 80% chance that she will not be at my wedding, but I just say to her: “Nah, you’re talkin’ silly. Of course you’ll be there!” What else can I say?

I don’t know if I could ever tell J to hurry it up because one of my family members may not be around much longer. I’d feel bad. But I guess it depends on the situation too though. Talk to your S.O. and see how he feels. Maybe even if he just asks your dad for permission, at least your father will know what his intentions are.


Post # 8
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Rancho San Carlos

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.  Does your SO know you feel this way?  I was in the waiting game for a while too, and Mr. H acknowledges that it took me telling him calmly and completely how I feel about marriage, why I wanted it, and what it means to me before he finally decided to do it.  I’m not suggesting you throw an ultimatum or anything like that, but maybe he just doesn’t realize this is even something you’ve thought about?  Since guys really don’t have that same “connection” like girls do with their dads, perhaps your SO doesn’t understand how meaningful it is for you to share that day with your day.  I’m wishing you lots of good luck, and sending hope your way.

Post # 9
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sorry about your dad *hugs* I think you should definitely talk to your SO and tell him how much having your dad at your wedding would mean to you and you can’t imagine him not being there on your big day. Tell him what your father’s prognosis is (if he doesn’t already know) and hopefully this will be the big nudge your SO needs to get going. Hope your dad’s surgery goes well. Sending good vibes your way.

Post # 10
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sorry about your dad =(.

I definitely think you should talk to your SO about it. He should be very understanding, to say the least. For my husband, his grandfather went through a rough sick patch and we DID discuss having a very fast wedding so he’d be there. He wanted to make sure I was okay with it, and I definitely was. Sometimes it’s just what’s needed to be done in order to have your loved ones there.

Post # 12
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t have much else to add because it seems you already talked to your Boyfriend or Best Friend.  But I just wanted to send you a big hug and my well wishes to your dad’s health and that things work out for you!

Post # 13
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry about your dad. I’m glad your SO is going to work to propose sooner rather than later. It will be wonderful to have your dad there. I lost my dad suddenly 7yrs ago, before I even met my SO.  I was a daddy’s girl, so my heart breaks for you.(izziebear)))

I’ll keep your family in my prayers.

Post # 14
13 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

My situation is sort of similar to yours. My father has heart disease and has had 2 quadruple bypass surgeries….and numerous other problems. Pretty much my entire life I have feared something happening to him etc.

Anyway, I ended up moving to europe 1.5 years ago (my Fiance is swedish) and pretty much I call home as often as I can cuz I’m always scared something is wrong. ….Last Christmas I totally broke down when I was at home and told my father I was scared about his health problems and I didn’t want to leave etc…. but then he told me I cannot change my plans or live a life in fear that something will happen that is out of my control.

Fiance knows that it would mean the world to me to have my father be there on our wedding day. We got engaged a month ago, and have planned for a summer wedding to kind of ‘speed up’ the wedding for that reason.

You have to do what feels right to you. No matter what, your father knows you love him and that you have found love with your future Fiance.

I hope everything works out and you and your fam have my thoughts and prayers 🙂



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