Post # 1
Am I the only one who hates birth control?
I just recently got back on hormonal birth control because Darling Husband and I realized that we really want to wait a couple of years before TTC. For the last 2 years, up until now, I have just tracked my periods and we’ve stayed away from “fertile days.” We realized this left us quite open to the possibility of a pregnancy, and just sighed a sigh of relief with every period. So now that we’ve decided we definitely want to wait, my husband is adament about me being on birth control. It’s just…
1) I hate the way it makes me feel! My body just doesn’t feel…right. I go back and forth between nauseous and ravenously hungry. I feel way more emotional than I do when I’m not on it. I also have had mild anxiety since I was a kid and I feel like it’s worse when I’m on the birth control. Darling Husband has suggested that I try different kinds to see if some aren’t as bad, but I honestly don’t want to because…
2) I don’t feel like it’s right. And no, it’s not because the pope doesn’t agree with it. It’s because I don’t feel right treating my body like this. I feel like I’m taking this beautiful gift of fertility God gave me and treating it like something dirty that needs to be eliminated or treated. Like I’m denying my womanhood. Maybe I’m overthinking it.
I really want to look into NFP, maybe even take a class. Darling Husband thinks it’s unnecessary to go to so much effort when all I have to do is just “pop a pill” and be done with it. He’s not insensitive, and he really tries to listen to me. He just doesn’t understand it. I guess I just want to know if I’m alone. Does anyone else not feel “right” about birth control? Does anyone have any experience to share on how easy/difficult NFP actually is? About birth control, do bc side effects go away after a while? The longest I’ve ever been on it was for about a year. Is it unlikely that side effects I still felt after a year would go away? Thanks guys 🙂
Post # 3
Hmmm,I would look at ALL of your options first,your Darling Husband should understand that you dont have to do something that your not happy with,after all,it will affect you and your body directly. If you are uncomfortable with the idea of the bc pill then look at other resources that are available,and try to explain to your husband that “popping a pill” is not soemthing you readily want to do.
ETA:Just for a smile, if my Darling Husband had said this to me,I would have told him to “just pop a condom on then” lol
Post # 4
I loved NFP. Between baby #1 and baby #2, I was on the Mirena, which I also liked, but my preference is for NFP. I just felt better off hormonal birth control, and it honestly wasn’t much work for me, after overcoming the initial learning curve. Idk about everyone, but while on the pill, side effects actually worsened for me; I was on the pill for 4 or 5 years before I quit and started charting, instead. I did like the Mirena because I had fewer side effects, and the few things I did experience were mostly positive (e.g. shortened periods).
Do you think your husband might be a little resistent, also, because he feels like the pill is more effective than NFP? If you’re interested, I don’t think it would hurt at all to learn more about the process and then decide if you want to use NFP. If you’re going to be doing it, your husband does have a role to play, so I think it would probably be helpful for him to learn a little about it, too. The plus to that might be that, as he becomes more educated on NFP, he may become more comfortable with it, too!
Post # 5
@swanks4tw:I completely agree with everything that you said. I’ve taken a few NFP classes and we practiced it before we started actively TTC. I felt so much better using it and so did Darling Husband actually. I definitely recommend looking into it.
Post # 6
I was in the same boat as you. I was never comfortable on BC. I never felt right. My cycles were whacked. I never felt right emotionally or psychically. I basically hated being on BC.
I talked to my husband then Boyfriend or Best Friend and he was supportive of my decision because it did not make ME feel right.I did look at other options besides the pill; I was not comfortable with any of the other methods as well. But you might be, have you looked at other methods?
Post # 7
Haha @Kimbo, the idea of using condoms gets tossed around whenever we talk about it, but we always decide not to because it doesn’t feel as intimate. I think he really does try to understand. He’s just a very logic-driven person. “Because I said so” never worked for his parents, and “because I feel this way” doesn’t work well for me. If it’s not something that can be boiled down to the facts, he has trouble understanding it. A lot of our arguments end in him saying “I don’t understand you, but I love you.”
Post # 8
Mrs. Spring I think a good part of it could be that he doesn’t think it’s as effective. I really want the two of us to learn about it together, I think that would make us both more comfortable with it.
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way. You guys are such a great support group 🙂
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2012 - The Old Field Club
I am an atheist, but if god gave you the gift of fertility, didn’t he also give you all of these great options now (through science) to decide when you are ready and comfortable using that gift of fertility? I don’t think its the right way to think of BC pills as “medicating away fertility”…..but maybe thats the soon-to-be doctor in me/feminist who sure is glad such options exist in my lifetime!
That being said, I am not saying BC pills are right for everyone, and if they make you feel different and uncomfortable, then by all means use other methods! Have yu tried progesterone only pills? would you consider an IUD? how about a diaphragm? The list goes on and on, and in the end you need to decide what makes you the most comfortable, and if that is using NFP that is fine, you just have to be OK with a higher risk of an unwanted pregnancy using methods that aren’t as effective.
Post # 10
I don’t think you’re treating your fertility like it’s dirty or a disease. I DO think that you’re taking charge of it by realizing you’re not ready/willing to have children yet and controlling how you handle this by taking BC/engaging in NFP.
So to be honest, no, I don’t understand why you feel that way (much like your husband), but I do empathize anyway. If you’re having negative side effects only you can decide if it’s worth it for you. Trying new types of BC could help; trying alternate methods altogether may help. Find what works for you! 🙂
ETA: I’m biased cause I love BC… not having to worry about little ones for years takes a lot of stress off my shoulders 🙂 We actually double protect (BC and condoms) every time because we’re very serious about not having children yet, so I think it’s wonderful that we have these options available to us.
Post # 11
I feel the same way. I’d love to stop taking it but I’m too scared to try any other way. I guess I’ll just deal with it until we decide to have kids. But yes, I do agree that I’d rather not be polluting my body if I don’t need to–I have always been one to think that the less drugs in your body, the better.
Post # 12
I’ve been off of BC for a decade due to my fibroids as well as preferring to use condoms instead when I was single. Even though Darling Husband and I are married and actively TTC, we’ve always practiced the withdrawal method as well as track my ovulation.
Post # 13
@swanks4tw: Charting your temperature is basically all you need to do. Read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, buy a basal thermometer and you are all set.
You will have to take days off though…not sure if your SO is cool with that or not. But you definitely have options!
Post # 14
@swanks4tw: I’m still new to NFP/FAM (fertility awareness method) so I can’t give you too much advice sorry but when I learned about it, it was recommended that I read “Taking Charge of Your Fertility,” by Toni Weschler. It’s a really interesting book that not only teaches you about FAM but also about your body in general and she does talk a little about the other methods of birth control. FAM isn’t for everyone though; you have to take your temperature daily as well as check other signs and learn to be in tune with your body. There’s also a website that you can probably get more information about it: http://www.tcoyf.com/
If you decide to try it out, I really recommend a glass basal thermometer (it’s said to be more accurate). I started out with a digital one first but my temperatures just seem to fluctuate too much so I decided to get a glass to try it out and the glass just seems a bit more stable (at one point I was actually using both to see how different the would be).
The glass thermometer I got was the Non-mercury Glass Basal Thermometer Mine works well but I guess out of every 10 or 11 there can be a bad one.
The digital I got was the BD Digital Basal Thermometer.
What I like about FAM is that it’s all natural; there are no hormones involved, no side effects and you’re working with your body not against it.
ETA: He’s just a very logic-driven person. “Because I said so” never worked for his parents, and “because I feel this way” doesn’t work well for me. If it’s not something that can be boiled down to the facts, he has trouble understanding it. A lot of our arguments end in him saying “I don’t understand you, but I love you.”
I just wanted to say my husband is the same way lol and he actually doesn’t want me on BC after really looking into FAM and how BC effects me and my body. Sometimes I even suggest that maybe it’ll just be easier to get on BC and he tells me that would rather use condoms (which he absolutely hates) than have me on BC. I think it would be really good for your husband to learn about it as well (it’s actually a very logical method! lol).
Post # 15
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
I just want to say that threads like this make me smile. I feel like, too often, our society assumes that every woman should be on the pill and that any other form of birth control is outdated, irresponsible, or downright stupid. I’ve been in discussions with women who’ve said things like, “Why would anyone ever use anything other than the pill? Any woman who’s not on the pill is an idiot.” Well, I guess I’m an idiot, and I’m OK with that. For me personally, the pill was never an option for a lot of the reasons listed here. And I’m glad there are other women out there who feel the same and look for alternatives birth control methods. It makes me feel like I’m less of an idiot for not choosing to go on the pill.
Post # 16
Honestly I have had the worst periods since I was 14- so sever I used to vomit non stop every month with th pain.
I went on birth control for about 6 months and didnt like how it made me feel so I came off them again -luckily the hormonal treatment left me with more manageble periods.
However in UNI I learnt a lot about hormones and their effect on the system- I decided not to use hormonal birth control and was left extremely in tune with my body and its rhythms.
Birth control hormones are just not for me…