- 2 weeks ago
I was you several years ago. It started with him yelling
at me when he was angry. I would sit there and take it because it only happened when he was mad and I obviously caused his anger. I justified staying because he “loved” me. After a while, he would yell and hit holes in walls inches from my face. I stayed because he had proposed to me. Then one night he got so angry that he laid hands on me. I justified that too. I cognitively distorted my reality to numb myself for the abuse. The night I broke it off with him? He took my phone, bent my wrist back and blocked my exit. I was so lucky to have friends who were coming over the next morning. One of them took me in. The further away I got from the relationship the better I felt. You have the ability to leave, and I strongly advise doing so before he gets worse.
This approach is a bit extreme so feel free to disregard or use it: All of us are probably on the same page with the DTMFA and LEAVE. However, I would advise you to leave in a way that minimizes your risk (having a place to stay etc.). When a person escapes their abuser, they are at a higher risk of getting hurt by the person they’re leaving. We do not know your fiancé’s propensity for violence. If he explodes and verbally abuses you? He might do worse when you’re trying to leave.
OP you deserve better. You deserve someone who is kind, and doesn’t tear you down so you feel small.
Good luck OP.