(Closed) My FI and his 2nd Amendment

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We have a similar situation, although DH doesn’t actually own any guns yet. Hopefully he’ll just forget about it…

When he talked about wanting them for “protection,” I asked him to walk me through scenarios where he would use the gun. Basically, as far as I can tell, there’s no way to safely keep a gun that you can use against a burglar at midnight… you would have to be able to get to your gun and ammo silently near your bed, and if you can do that, that can’t possibly be safe! So that’s out.

His other “protection” scenario is what we call “the zombie apocalypse,” but we’re just joking. Basically, DH got it in his head that we should be prepared to survive in case of some kind of massive several-day emergency – the kind of thing that happens when governments collapse or there’s an earthquake or a massive epidemic. The closest-to-home example would be Hurricane Katrina or the Haiti earthquake, I guess. So I agreed that he could have a gun for “the zombie apocalypse” if he actually builds it inside the wall – bring in a carpenter, build it in, cover it over, no visible door. I guess he doesn’t know that it needs to be maintained (it was news to me)! I just don’t feel safe having it in the house when we have kids… there are way too many freak accidents, even with locks and whatnot.

Post # 18
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

If it’s stored safely, I have no prob having firearms in my home and I’m a mom.  My son has never gone near anything like that and you can keep them locked safely.  My sis and I never even touched (except for watching him clean one) my dads’ guns and they were safely locked away from us for all our lives pretty much.

I hate to say this, but we had a would-be-home intruder in our rural home when I was a teenager.  My dad was away at work and my mom heard him after my sis and I saw the guy trying to come in through our garage door (had an open garage style house).

My mom (who had taken classes and could shoot and had a permit) grabbed the .38 and walked to the door.  The guy had it open, was a few feet away from her/us, and saw my mom standing there with it and ran.  Not a shot fired but she could have def defended us against him.  The police caught him nearby.  He had broken into dozens of homes in the area it turns out.

I was pretty darn happy my dad had firearms that day. 

Post # 19
2511 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Guns. *shivers*

Honestly, I don’t understand the mindset of having a gun in the house for protection when most of the time it’s the owner of the gun or (God forbid) the owners CHILD who ends up getting killed by it.

Here is my take on it:

How is a gun that is SAFELY STORED going to have time to be used for protection when break-ins and robberies are unexpected and unannounced and usually the intruder is armed anyway?

In my opinion, the only way a gun would be of any protection at all is if it was extremely easily accessible to the owner and already loaded, and everyone knows that is a HUGE no-no, particularly if there are children in the home, in which case I would have to vote NO on guns on the premises in the first place.

For me, it’s a big fat no.

Virginia, I would SERIOUSLY have a talk with your Fiance about this and explain to him how terrified of them you are. I’d try to do it as diplomatically as possible, but I think you might really need to put your foot down about it 🙁

@ veganglam – LOL at “I freak out sometimes and think that either one of us might sleepwalk in the middle of the night and pull out the gun and shoot.  Now, I know this is totally irrational because neither of us sleepwalks.”


Post # 20
2511 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@ bellenga – JUST A NOTE: My post wasn’t directed at you lol. I just now posted it and looked up and saw yours!


Post # 21
2560 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I was in the military for 7 years, and I am extremely comfortable with the use/maintenance and firing of weapons (When I was shooting on a regular basis I earned sharpshooter status in my unit).

I do have a FAC (fire-arms certificate, which means that here in Canada I have the training and certification to own a weapon) so I can shoot in a range when I feel I want to. My families weapons are stored at the firing range.

That being said, it will be a cold day in hell before a gun is in my home. If you store a gun safely (unloaded and bolt removed, bolt and ammo in a separate locked location) there is no way you would have time to get all the bits and put it together quietly and with enough time to be of any use against an intruder.

Also, my cousin killed himself with a family weapon which had been secured properly, because as a teen he had found out where all the pieces were and had time when he was home alone to purposefully put the bolt in the gun, load it, and shoot himself in the head. He was a normally, really stable teen, but his girlfriend cheated on him and the gun was available to him.

Post # 22
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My Fiance is a police officer, so I don’t have a choice in the matter.  Officers in his department have two guns, a handgun and a rifle, and they come home with him.  He has a gun safe in his closet where he keeps the handgun because it is always loaded.  It goes from his belt into the safe whenever he gets home.  The rifle he keeps in the back of his closet as well. We plan on getting a bigger gun safe when we get a house.

I had never really been around guns until Fiance, but I was never opposed to them.  I agree with the previous posters that you should educate yourself about them.  FI took me to a shooting range and taught me how to shoot.  He taught me about the two guns that are in our house, how to load and unload them, how to make sure they are safe, etc.  He wanted to make sure that if I DID ever encounter a situation in the house (as unlikely as that is) I would be able to use the guns instead of having them used against me.

I can understand why you feel nervous, but I would suggest a locked gun safe and education.  I think you’ll feel a lot better.

Post # 23
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh … my gosh.  I’m so glad there are more people with this dilemma.  I grew up in a very anti-gun family — I’d never seen one until I met the boy.  He has three at our house and more at his parents’ house.  I’m so uncomfortable with them but can’t give any reasons other than “I think they’re a problem and contribute to crime.”  His friends all have guns and he grew up in a very pro-gun family.  We had a pretty big argument about it once, but I was on shaky ground again because I didn’t have a really good reason why I didn’t want them in the house with us.  I guess maybe I’m worried that when we have kids they’ll find them and somehow shoot each other … but the boy is very safe with these things and I know he’ll keep them out of the hands of kids but still … I don’t know.  General unease is the best way to describe it.  

Post # 24
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I just want to reiterate that my advice to learn how to shoot one and educate yourself about them is not advice to learn more about them and become okay with having them in the house or no longer view them as a problem.  You can learn how to take care of and shoot a gun and maintain a very anti gun stance and refuse to have it in the house.  You’ll just have a more educated anti gun stance. 

Post # 25
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t like them because they’re extremely dangerous things that can cause a hell of a lot of damage in an instant, on impulse. That’s really scary to me. It’s the reason why men kill themselves more often than women–they tend to use guns, whereas women tend to use pills. The pills give you time to do something about the impulsive action you just took. Guns don’t, so men are more successful. You can’t call 911 if you’re unconscious!

A woman and her daughter near my sister’s house in New Husband were recently attacked in the middle of the night not with a gun, but a machete. The woman never woke up. The girl did, but not before they had physically incapacitated her. They left her for dead, but she somehow managed to call 911. What good would a gun have been to them? To me, I’ll take a state of the art security system and a dog over a gun anyday.

A patient’s 14 year old son intentionally shot himself about a year ago with a gun they had in their home, and was brain dead by the time they airlifted him to the nearest major hospital.

C’s friend from the gym was recently shot and seriously injured by her husband, who also killed their 17 year old daughter with the gun he had in the house. That really shook C up, and I think then he started to understood why I feel the way I do about guns. I think he finally understood the magnitude of the impact guns can have on people’s lives. We haven’t talked about it since, mostly because he was having such a hard time processing what had happened.

I don’t know… for me, I just don’t know what else comes close to causing more harm than good than guns. Like I said, I’ll take a state of the art security system and a dog anyday.

Post # 26
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I was never around guns, but my Fiance has a handgun and a rifle. He goes to the shooting range and every couple of years he goes on a hunting trip. It helped me to be much more comfortable around the guns when he took me to the shooting range and he also showed me how to load the gun. He also showed me how he stores them and locks them safely away. They still make me nervous, but becoming more familiar with them and seeing that he is a responsible gun owner softened my original hard stance against them.

Post # 27
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Honestly, I think everyone should have some basic knowledge about guns. We hunt, and I cannot imagine not hunting. I understand the fear people have of guns, but I think like most things it is just a fear of the unknown. Yes, guns can be deadly. I feel it is even more deadly to be around guns and have no idea how to check to see if it’s loaded, or to shoot it if need be. Guns don’t hurt people, people hurt people. A gun doesn’t shoot itself. On a side note, a responsible gun owner will not pull a gun if the situation is not warranted. Hubs has a conceal-carry permit and he says all the time how he does not pull his gun without intent to use it. He has never pulled his gun on anyone, he’s never had to.

I understand it’s a personal preference, but maybe you could work it out and get a gunsafe? We need one. I am totally not comfortable with the number of firearms we have in this house without a safe.


Post # 28
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m not a fan of guns either. I think its a constitutional right that should be protected though. Fiance is a lifetime member of the NRA and we have various guns in the house in a locked safe. He does go shooting for recreational purposes and he used to hunt as a child. I respect the fact that he likes guns and that he feels he should exercise his second amendment rights. He is respectful of my views and opinions and loves me without conditions, i think its only fair that I do the same for him. Just wanted to share my somewhat similar situation.

Post # 29
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Chances are you won’t even notice the guns in the house. Let him bring them in. I tend to fall towards your fiance’s point of veiw. I think that you need to learn how to shoot a gun. Take a gun saftey class learn to shoot, familerize yourself with them and you won’t be uncomfortable. I’ve been around guns my whole life. Guns that were never ever in a lock box. I learned gun safety at about 7. I learned to shoot at 8 or 9. I feel confident enough that I can pick up any gun in my house (which rounds out to more like 10 guns, and some of them have been in my family for generations passing from male to male)and use it safely to hunt or to protect my family from an intruder. Guns aren’t the problem. They’re not to blame for the idiot that pulls the trigger and kills an innocent person then your keyboard is to blame for you mispelling a word. Trust me, just learn to use the gun and you’ll feel better. I fully expect my fiance to bring a gun in our house, and not a hand gun either. Matter of fact I’m sure I’ll buy my own and get my permit after we get married because my fiance is trying to get a job that will allow him to travel.

Post # 30
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m with MrsJellybean. 

I was afraid of guns, too, until I started dating my husband. He is from a family of hunters and gun collectors, so if I was going to be with him, I had no choice in the matter. I now carry a gun (have a concealed weapons license) and love shooting. An education or class on guns is essential to being comfortable around them! You don’t have to fall in love with it, but if there are going to be guns in your house, you MUST know how to handle them. 


Post # 31
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I grew up with guns in the home. We were taught at a young age to respect them and not to play with them. We were taught they were for protection and a couple of times, my dad had his gun out when someone tried to break in the house. Too many people get hurt because they don’t know how to be around them properly or handle them. Or they leave them where their kids can get to them.

I strongly feel like if you learn how to use one properly, you’ll be much more comfortable with it. You may not LIKE it, but you’ll at least know what to do with it should the need EVER arise. To have them in your home and not know how to handle it properly would be pointless.

Guns used to be something only my dad owned–collectors guns, hunting rifles, etc. Also a gun for protection that i guess was easier/quicker to use. When I was in ROTC my freshman year, I actually took a rifle marksmanship class and learned about safety regarding them and it was a very enlightening experience.

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