(Closed) My FI and his 2nd Amendment

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
Post # 92
4 posts
  • Wedding: November 2010

It is true that the fear of an object in and of itself suggests an underlying fear manifested on the object itself.

in zen meditation one learns not to fear the thing he or she is afraid of; instead one learns to make the object simply an extension of his or her self.


Post # 93
250 posts
Helper bee

VirginiaMarie – I hope you and your Fiance will be able to come to an agreement that works for both of you.  Good luck!

Post # 94
2206 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@ fastmover: I think you read both too much and too little into my post. I have taken self-defense and first aid classes, know my fire escape plan at work and home, and do cardio and weight lifting regularly. I have done these things because the risk of simple, deterable assault, a situation where basic first aid could help, a fire, and a situation where baseline physical fitness would help are all things that are not particularly remote. In fact, I personally have already faced a simple assault. I was able to prevent escalation with my basic knowledge of self-defense.

As I noted before, I believe in measured response to the risks in my life. The greater the actual risk, the more time I should spend addressing it. But risk is not the same as fear. Death by terrorist or axe murderer or sadistic torturer are all horrifying, but are incredibly unlikely. It is a personal choice I have made, but I chose to live in a way that is responsive to reality, not to fear.

Judging risk is not relying on luck. It is a rational response to world that is filled with myriad ways to hurt you, only some of which you can successfully mitigate.

Post # 95
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I find it interesting that ppl are quick to claim there’s something wrong with a person for not wanting a gun in their home, that it’s something that needs to be “fixed”.  I’ve tried it, it’s not for me.  If you want one in your home, go for it, but it’s that sort of one-sided logic that I find aggravating.

Everyone has given OP advise to compromise by taking steps to become more confortable with the gun there.  Where are the ppl suggesting her Fiance take steps to become more confortable with the gun NOT there?  It should be a 2 way street.  When I told my fiance I wouldn’t allow a gun in my home, that it was a very important rule for me, he weighed its importance to him and was fine giving it up.  That’s always an option, too. 

Post # 96
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

hey yall – this is from a law enforcement standpoint:

for the OP – its up to you and your FH if you want to keep the guns in the house, i would suggest that if you do, invest in a gun locker or gun safe and keep them stored if he uses them recreationally. the guns he uses for protection and keeps out, i would suggest that if yall decide to keep them in the house you at least get familiar with how to use it.

what most people dont know is that the random statistic that anti-gun folks use that folks with guns in the house are more likely to be hurt – is only half true. there are folks that dont know how to USE their gun and dont realize that when you buy a gun for self protection you have to train with it and be prepared to use it, or be prepared to have the bad guy take it from you and use it on you.

so bottom line, IF you bring the gun in the house, at least learn how to load unload make safe and shoot with it. it might save your life.


Post # 97
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I find it very interesting how many of the people posting have less than 10 previous posts.  I am guessing they are the same person?  Perhaps some crazy who found our site and is trying to get people upset? 

Post # 98
145 posts
Blushing bee

wow…. so many heated emotions over this topic. Very interesting. As someone who is prior military and had an ex husband who was a cop, I am perfectly comfortable around guns, I know how to put it together and take it apart, clean it and all that. When my children were first born, I do admit a lot of fear as to their safety and my ex’s guns are kept very far away from the kids. As the kids got older, he started taking them shooting and I have no problem with it even after we are divorced. Now my future husband and I already discussed it and we will someday get a gun or two in the house.

For all of you who question the logistics of putting it together in case of intrusion, yes, it is super fast just like they showed in the TV. And even if you didn’t get a chance to put the clip in, if you are seriously threatened, wouldn’t you at least point the gun and try to bluff your way through?? That will give you a better odd than having nothing on your hand.

My suggestion to Virginiamarie though, is to compromise with your Fiance, and take the course and learn to shoot it, but in order to upheld your end of bargain, you should be diligent and show actual interest in learning about it. After 6 months, if you are still not comfortable with it, then he should respect you and keep it in the garage or somewhere not in the house.

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