- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
Yes, it makes perfect sense. I hope he understands it that way. If he’s just not capable of doing that, you must consider (for yourself) if you can live with it forever.I know how you feel. I am the same way and require the same kind of acknowledgement from my partner. No other man did that for me (because he wanted to!) until I met my husband. That’s actually how I knew he was “the one”.
Please ignore this post
TOTALLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK!!! I can’t stress that enough. More women (and men) need to read it.
Counseling stat. No if’s and’s or but’s…..You both clearly need it.
I haven’t read the entire thread…mostly what
based on what she mentioned, it seems like there are miscommunications and red flags. Many Bees had valid points on Business is Business and theres no time for anything contrary.
It would have been prudent to wait it out…. He may have called after he was done. She could have taken it up with him the next day if he hadn’t…
With what you’ve said:
My thought as to why he said what he did (he was at fault in the manner in which he said it of course), he read you calling so much as an insecurity you have. (You’ve already stated you think the worst in people) He may have been hurt because you couldn’t trust him?
Anyway, I could go on and pin point everything, but I’m not. Many Bee’s have given great advice! Try a few different method’s they recommended…
You still have time to sort things out before you get married. So it’s not too late.
Ok….WB is going nuts again I think.
Hopefully I can get the picture and send my response. (Pages arn’t loading correctly and I don’t see half my response!) I’m just going to quit commenting on this unless someone misconstues/asks me something.
But games aren’t going to work. They’ll only create more frustrations ….
I text him to step away, so we can talk for a few. He texts back, no, I can’t step away, I’ll call you later.
if i was your Fiance i would be pissed – i take my job seriously and yes i do sometimes put it first (heck often i put it first) and if i said i cant talk to you now and i would call later and yet you continue to harrass me then yes, i would be pissed
my husband and i speak two very different love languages, when my husband travels i wish he would phone me less – i dont need a phone call to say goodmorning and then another one for goodnight but he does – drives me crazy
I would be upset, too. Fiance and I are together everyday now. But, when we weren’t, we’d talk on the phone for several hours a day. I find it highly suspicious how your Fiance acted. If my Fiance told me I’d “embarrassed” him (which makes NO sense, btw), I would be done with it. He could’ve given you somewhat of a better explanation of why he was busy. He could have said, “Hey, something work related came up and I can’t talk.” Instead, he gave a vague response. I am just really suspicious of things like this. If I were you, I’d expect an apology from him and if this behavior persists, I wouldn’t be interested in marrying him.
Go to the bookstore, find this book called “Why Men Marry Bitches” by Sherry Argov and turn to page 116.
In short: Man goes out. Doesn’t respond to girl’s texts or calls. She yells at him when he comes home. He feels cared for and secure. He has the upper hand.
Next time, let the phone go to voicemail a few times. Don’t respond right away. Let him wonder what you’re up to.
Darn duplicate posts!!
I travel for work and while away on business trips, you have to be “on” all day. Talking to new people, forming relationships, meetings, etc. Dinners are usually extensions of meetings.
It really is an effort to talk to loved ones while on these trips. It isn’t unusual to be “on” from 3 a.m. til midnight… as these trips are the only chance, sometimes, for the year to meet face to face with these colleagues..
While on these trips i have to keep my phone on me at all time for work related calls. Or emergencies of course. If I kept having to check it and surely people say “feel free to take it” and me saying no.. it’s ok… it WOULD be embaressing.
He told her he was busy with his work trip and he’d call her back. If my fiance continued to call and text after that I would be very upset and not even WANT to call him back. Work trips are NOT fun. It’s not going to a fun new place. It’s work 24/7 and being stuck in an uncomfy hotel room when you finally get “you” time… and then using that time to prepare for the next day.
I’d cut him some slack.
And yes.. on these trips, you can still be going at midnight…
I didn’t mean to keep bothering him. As I’ve mentioned before, I didn’t realize that he was going to be soo late in his meetings. I didn’t even realize that he was in a meeting; Fiance has lots of friends down by work and I thought at first he was out with them. Anytime he goes there for business, he always makes dinner plans and bar plans with them. So, yes, I was crazy bothering him, because I thought he was blowing me off for “fun”. But no, I didn’t realize it was completely “business”.
We finally talked on the phone Thursday night for the first time; he had been gone since Monday. But when he called me, it was from a friend’s house; so, I wasn’t completely unjustified with my thinking that he was out at the bar with his friends when I tried to call him. It was a complete lack of communication on both our parts that ended up hurting my feelings.
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