(Closed) My FI is a slob, I’m becoming his nagging mother!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can relate a bit. My Fiance has gotten a lot better since we’ve lived together, but its still our biggest point of contention. The other day I found this article and sent it to him:


I felt like it summed up my feelings really well. We’re still working on it, and will be for a while I think, but seeing improvement helps.

Post # 5
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

It’s not just the laundry though, it’s a lack of respect and a lack of willingness to comprimise. My ex was the same way and he was just a selfish guy. If you dont want to be doing his laundry for the rest of your life (and probably the rest of the chores too) I dont blame you for reconsidering. I dont really have any advice as to how to get him to smarten up (as I said before, I had this problem with my EX), but I sympathize with your situation.

Post # 6
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My Boyfriend or Best Friend is the same way with the dishes!!! ARGH!!!

Post # 7
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would suggest some couples counseling. Obviously he’s not understanding how frustrating it has been for you, and maybe there are some things you are not understanding of him. Nagging is never good to have in a relationship, it only leads to resentment (and it seems like you probably know this). A marriage and family therapist can help you both work through this, and learn new ways of communicating that don’t involve nagging. Good Luck!!!

Post # 8
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

My fiance was the same way! But now whenever he does the dishes or laundry or sweeps, I give him tons of praise and physical… Hum… Rewards 😀 

So now he does things without asking because he knows not only does it make me feel good, but he in turn feels good because of the compliments and such I give him!!


Post # 9
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My Darling Husband hates doing laundry.  He’d let it pile high, high, high before doing it when single.  Now he pretty much expects me to do it especially because I work from home.  What I usually tell him is something like this “Hey the laundry is crazy and needs to be done.  I can either work on laundry or scrub the shower as the shower is starting to grow fuzz.”  He immediately says “I’ll scrub the shower!”. 

If he expected me to do both, then I wouldn’t have married him.  A husband is supposed to add value to your life.  If he isn’t doing that, then I suggest not marrying him.


Post # 10
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Totally agree with PP about some counseling.  I went to a counselor once that asked what chores my husband and I did…I told her we shared them.  She said that was a big no-no b/c who’s to blame when it doesn’t get done?  Not that you should blame but still…she said to make a list of all the chores and check off the things we each liked/hated to do…the hated ones we compromised who would do them.  It also gave us each a way to show the other “love and appreciation” by doing the other’s chores if we wanted to…and honestly, it worked.  Never thought it would b/c we were a 50/50 couple.


Post # 12
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If the laundry is the only thing he’s being lazy on, then I’d just let it go.  Everyone has *some* bad habit, lazy trait, or whatever that will drive their partner up the wall if the partner lets it.  For my guy, it’s leaving wet towels on the floor after he showers.  But if it’s just one thing, it might be worth accepting. I don’t want to fight over wet towels. I don’t want to go to counseling over wet towels.  I just remember as I’m hanging them up that he always carries in the groceries (to the point that he’ll have 7 big bags and I’ll have zero… lol he says my job is to open the front door and that his woman doesn’t carry heavy groceries). 

Adults (men and women both) tend to be already set in their habits, and the laundry thing might just never happen. Putting too much of a focus on it isn’t good for the relationship.

If it’s more systemic than just laundry, though, counseling might be a good choice for you!

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