(Closed) My FI is being a butthead.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3167 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

yeah… no. do NOT have a newbie who has never done a wedding shoot yours. i’d put my foot down on this one because she will get overwhelmed, miss a lot of stuff, and you’ll be left sad. weddings are not portrait photography and you don’t even like her style anyway – why would you give your limited funds to her when she hasn’t ever shown she’s capable of delivering?

Post # 4
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I really would discourage you from going behind his back to do this, since he doesn’t agree with the decision. Try to explain how the style is different and how you think this other person will truly be able to capture your day more in the way you have it pictured in your head.

Since this aspect is so important to you, is there something else perhaps you could compromise on? I know my husband hates fondant, so I let him pick the frosting and flavors for the cake. We designed the outside together, but he had the final say in the cake layers and filling. Since the cake was so important to him, I wanted him to be pleased with the final product.

Try that approach, and hopefully he’ll budge a bit in your direction!!

Post # 5
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

The photography is not something to skimp on – especially if you don’t have complete confidence in the other option.  Keep your original photographer!

Post # 6
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think Fiance is being a bit unreasonable. It’s not like choosing between a stranger and this girl – you said the photographer you like is an old friend. I would stick to your guns and stay with a photographer you know you can trust and are getting a still-great deal on.

If he really wants to “give someone a chance” and she really wants to do her first wedding, maybe you guys can give her a chance by letting her come to a portion of your wedding to take photos, then let her use them for her portfolio to drum up new business. If your current photographer is an old friend, he may be forgiving of the usual policy that your photog has to be your only professional photgrapher.

She may not go for it, but if I were trying to get into wedding photography, I would love the opportunity to get some portfolio material, even if it was unpaid. That way, the photographer has overcome the burden of never having shot a wedding before, but you guys aren’t risking everything on an unknown entity. This is coming from a NON-photographer, so maybe this is a totally unreasonable suggestion, but it’s the first thing I thought of while reading your post.

Post # 7
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

You CAN NOT work with a photographer you don’t like, new or not. It will not give you the pictures that you want and like a PP stated if she, on her own, is trying to do all the shooting, there is no way she will get everything since it is her first time.

Hope it works out.

Post # 8
Member
4804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think compromising in a different area would be ideal.  Don’t go behind his back because I’m sure he will get really mad.  I also would absolutely not go with the girl he’s talking about.  She has no experience and photos are so important.  Plus, you’ve seen her photos and don’t like them.  There’s not much arguing about that.   Also I know money is tight, but $800 is a really good price for a photographer that you like.

Post # 9
Member
14424 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m all for saving money and all, but not to sacrafice something that means so much to me.  $400 in the grand scheme of things is not much, can you save elsewhere in the wedding? 

Post # 11
Member
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Eeek. I agree with PP’s that you should definately stick with the original photographer, especially because you’ve seen his work and LIKE it! I, too, believe in giving people a chance, but not when it comes down to portraying my wedding day! You are already getting a steal of a deal on the one you DO like, just stick to it! Let your Fiance know that its super important and give him the reins on something that means more to him…like food lol

Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I also think definately stick with the more experienced photographer! You only get one shot at your wedding, and you don’t want a newbie to miss anything. But I also think a nice compromise would be to let her take photos at the wedding for her portfolio, or perhaps she could do your engagement shoot and have the pro do the wedding? I’m all for helping out the newbies, within reason. We have a close friend who is trying to break into wedding photography and she will be the ‘second shooter’ on our wedding day to build up some experience.

Also, totally feel you on the Fiance being a butthead, my Fiance is currently being a butthead about MANY things, lol.

Post # 15
Member
14424 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@JM1217: if you go with your original, make sure to check with him if another ‘pro’ is there to shoot.  The first photographer contract I almost went with specifically said that they will not ‘compete’ with another pro to get shots and they have the right to walk away if they show up and see you have another pro there.

Post # 16
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wouldn’t choose a photographer that you don’t like.  That $400 is going to be worth it to have pictures you love forever!  Maybe you could explain to your Fiance that this is really the only way you will be able to remember your big day (if you’re not having a videographer) in pictures and you want them to be awesome.

The topic ‘My FI is being a butthead.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors