Post # 1
For the sake of this post I need to give my Fiance a fake name. I’ll call him Christopher. Fiance is actually Christopher Junior, and normally goes by CJ. All. The. Time. At school, at work, at home, he’s always CJ. (He wants me to say CJ instead of his full name when we exchange vows, but I can live with that)
This week I decided to do a rough draft of our invite wording and when I showed it to him, with his full name on it, he insisted that I change it to CJ. It looks terrible! 🙁
joyfully invite you to share in…
I think it looks sloppy and lazy. Is there any way to use CJ and still make it look like a well-written invite? What would you do?
Post # 3
… really the only solution I can think of is to put Christopher (CJ) Hislast… but that would kinda weird on a formal invite.
Post # 4
This is one of those times when your Future Mother-In-Law could be a useful ally. If she has any taste at all she’s going to tell him that he’s being ridiculous and insist that they include his full name.
Post # 5
Ooh. This is the one time in life that you use legal names. You should definitely explain to him that this is important because the ceremony is formal and that the name legally going down on that marriage license is his real name. I get that he’s always called that, and for everything else that’s fine, but come on! Vows and the invite are the two things during which you gotta say your full name!
LOL this sounds like a fight my Fiance is having with me… except about middle names. Men sometimes are so clueless about wedding etiquette!
Post # 6
You should ask him to do some research if he’s going to ask for unusual invite wording… he should look at some etiquette sites or books, and a whole bunch of sample invite wordings, so that he gets a sense of why it looks kind of bad to just put CJ Hislast.
If he still wants to do it, I’d put “Christopher “CJ” Hislast, Junior,” with CJ in quotation marks to indicate that it’s what he goes by.
Post # 7
@teaadntoast: Consulting the Mother-In-Law is a no-go. She’s been married 3 times and has zero interest. We’re just over 6 months out and she still doesn’t know our colors, attendants or anything else because she’s too disinterested to ask… so I don’t think she’ll be any help with the invites It was a good thought though
Post # 8
Oh, and also, I think it’s fine to use “CJ” in the vows, if it’s really what he’s always called. My husband has *never* gone by his first name – he was given his grandad’s first name as a first, and grandad’s last (mom’s maiden) as a middle. He has *always* gone by his middle name, since he was a baby, and it would’ve been totally weird if I used his first name in the vows.
Post # 9
I have an idea, what if you told him that on the wedding website and everything else, he can be CJ but just not on the invites? Like, that’s the one compromise he has to make with you over this stuff, it’s pretty simple.
What about instead of the Future Mother-In-Law, an Aunt of his or another close relative that will see the ridiculousness of it?
Post # 10
Thank you all for the ideas 🙂 When I get home tonight I’ll try again. Wish me luck!
Post # 11
If he’s dead-set against changing it, what about compromising and putting C.J. Smith or whatever. i know they’re not really his initials, but it looks slightly more formal with the periods. I do think this is one of the few times in life though when including your formal name is important.
Post # 12
i actually like “CJ” and if thats his name and thats what he wants then i’ll would give it to him
i also wouldnt want people looking at my invitation and asking “who is Christopher Joe” when everyone knows him as CJ
Post # 13
My Fiance and I had the opposite problem – no one ever calls him by his full, legal name and he wanted to use his real name on the invitations. I was afraid that if we used his real name on the invitations that people would think that I was marrying someone else.
He has such an unique last name though, we just figured at the end that people would realize that it was the same person and that we were just using his formal name for the invitations.
Post # 14
I would certainly explain to him why you want his full name and the other reasons people offered up here, but if he really wants it to say CJ, I say let him. It is his name after all, he should be able to be called what he wants.
And it’s such a small thing, it’s not worth a fight…I bet no one who gets an invite would think twice about the name being CJ since that’s what they know him as. Very few people who aren’t in wedding planning mode think about things such as the proper way to list names on a wedding invite.
Post # 15
I think that if you use the right font, even just initials can look pretty elegant. Try Alexandria Zeferino Three. That’s the one we used. You can see it here, in the last photo.
Post # 16
Legally in AUS you have to use your given name at birth the officiant must use them (my dad is a minister so he is my resource for this info) you cant use a nickname for the legal stuff.
As for invite, I really think it would be appropriate to use his full name with ‘cj’ also. However it also depends how formal your wedding is? If it was just a casual thing with only 30 people coming then its a goer. But if its anymore than 50 I think it should be in full.
Just my opinion. My FH nickname is “shero” short for Sheridan but there is no way im putting that nickname in there!