(Closed) My FI is screwing up the invite wording! Help!

posted 8 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

… really the only solution I can think of is to put Christopher (CJ) Hislast… but that would kinda weird on a formal invite.

Post # 4
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

This is one of those times when your Future Mother-In-Law could be a useful ally.  If she has any taste at all she’s going to tell him that he’s being ridiculous and insist that they include his full name.

Post # 5
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Ooh. This is the one time in life that you use legal names. You should definitely explain to him that this is important because the ceremony is formal and that the name legally going down on that marriage license is his real name. I get that he’s always called that, and for everything else that’s fine, but come on! Vows and the invite are the two things during which you gotta say your full name!

LOL this sounds like a fight my Fiance is having with me… except about middle names. Men sometimes are so clueless about wedding etiquette!

Post # 6
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

You should ask him to do some research if he’s going to ask for unusual invite wording… he should look at some etiquette sites or books, and a whole bunch of sample invite wordings, so that he gets a sense of why it looks kind of bad to just put CJ Hislast.

If he still wants to do it, I’d put “Christopher “CJ” Hislast, Junior,” with CJ in quotation marks to indicate that it’s what he goes by.

Post # 8
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Oh, and also, I think it’s fine to use “CJ” in the vows, if it’s really what he’s always called. My husband has *never* gone by his first name – he was given his grandad’s first name as a first, and grandad’s last (mom’s maiden) as a middle. He has *always* gone by his middle name, since he was a baby, and it would’ve been totally weird if I used his first name in the vows.

Post # 9
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

I have an idea, what if you told him that on the wedding website and everything else, he can be CJ but just not on the invites? Like, that’s the one compromise he has to make with you over this stuff, it’s pretty simple.

What about instead of the Future Mother-In-Law, an Aunt of his or another close relative that will see the ridiculousness of it?

Post # 11
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

If he’s dead-set against changing it, what about compromising and putting C.J. Smith or whatever.  i know they’re not really his initials, but it looks slightly more formal with the periods.  I do think this is one of the few times in life though when including your formal name is important.

Post # 12
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i actually like “CJ” and if thats his name and thats what he wants then i’ll would give it to him

i also wouldnt want people looking at my invitation and asking “who is Christopher Joe” when everyone knows him as CJ

 

Post # 13
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My Fiance and I had the opposite problem – no one ever calls him by his full, legal name and he wanted to use his real name on the invitations. I was afraid that if we used his real name on the invitations that people would think that I was marrying someone else.

He has such an unique last name though, we just figured at the end that people would realize that it was the same person and that we were just using his formal name for the invitations.

 

Post # 14
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I would certainly explain to him why you want his full name and the other reasons people offered up here, but if he really wants it to say CJ, I say let him.  It is his name after all, he should be able to be called what he wants. 

And it’s such a small thing, it’s not worth a fight…I bet no one who gets an invite would think twice about the name being CJ since that’s what they know him as.  Very few people who aren’t in wedding planning mode think about things such as the proper way to list names on a wedding invite.

Post # 15
Member
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I think that if you use the right font, even just initials can look pretty elegant.  Try Alexandria Zeferino Three.  That’s the one we used.  You can see it here, in the last photo.

Post # 16
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Legally in AUS  you have to use your given name at birth the officiant must use them (my dad is a minister so he is my resource for this info) you cant use a nickname for the legal stuff.

As for invite, I really think it would be appropriate to use his full name with ‘cj’ also. However it also depends how formal your wedding is? If it was just a casual thing with only 30 people coming then its a goer. But if its anymore than 50 I think it should be in full.

Just my opinion. My FH nickname is “shero” short for Sheridan but there is no way im putting that nickname in there!

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