(Closed) My FI saw my dress and he doesn't like it! :(

posted 4 years ago in Dress
Post # 31
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

mrspereira:  “No offense but (insert offensive comment here).”

Was that supposed to be “don’t worry OP, he probably just doesn’t like the dress because you’re too fat to wear it!”  Because that’s pretty much what you said.  So….booooo.  Booooo!  I’m hurtful-comment shaming you.  It’s the new body shaming.  And it was intended 😉

Post # 32
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

playdohpants:  I didn’t want to say it but THIS. some guys (or people in general) have no idea what they like particularly if they don’t usually take an interest in fashion.

I showed my partner pictures of the same dress on different days and one day he loved it, and the next day he used the word “repulsive” (i shit you not). He also pointed out a mermaid dress as his favourite and then said he doesn’t like mermaid dresses because “they make it look like the girl has swollen calves” ??? I’m like “You know her calves aren’t filling it out under there right?!”

He has also seen the dress that I am buying in photos on the model (not knowing it’s the one I’m getting) and said it “looks like an elmo suit” …WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEANNNN!!! I’m still buying it haha. I give up. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  lamington.
Post # 33
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - country club in Michigan

My fiance told me if I got married in anything but pure white he’d be upset. My dress was gold. He told me the day of our wedding that I was the most beautiful he’d ever seen me and he loved the dress.

 

Lesson: until he sees you all dolled up on your wedding day, he has NO IDEA what he’s talking about. Your dress is awesome, and I’m sure you look stunning in it. When he sees you the day of, he’ll love it too. 

Post # 34
Member
40 posts
Newbee

I can understand your feeling sad about this. Lots of bride’s (me included) fantasise about that romantic first look on their wedding day. I can’t wait to see my FI’s face as I walk towards him down the aisle – and as someone with anxiety, it would definitely hamper the experience if I thought that he might be judging my very expensive, very meaningful dress.

That being said, I agree with the Bees who suggested that you wear it anyway. Your Fiance loves and fancies you, not the model in the pic, and if he’s anything like mine can’t really tell two long white dresses apart. Do talk to him though. It sounds like communicating while upset might be a good relationship goal to work towards for both of you.

Congrats on picking such a gorgeous dress!

Post # 35
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I think sometimes guys tend to see weird things we don’t when they look at any clothing items, and can’t understand how formal dress and especially wedidng dress shopping works.  I’m sure he does not understand how salons use clips to fit a bigger dress to a smaller frame, or vice versa, how ladies my size need to face possbiyl not being “done up” in the back just to get an idea about a dress that might be too small in the sample size.

He will have no idea how a properly fitted dress, with the accessories, make up and hair, and flowers will look.  

I agree you might want to ask him exactly what bothered him about that pic, either though telling him its your dress, OR simplay saying you’d like to know what features were troublesome so you can be sure your dress doens’t have them.  Then you can decide if it’s just a guy who didn’t unerstand how the dress was a sample, or find out he hates the fitted dresses, or the tulle, or whatnot, and decide if you really need to rethink your dress, or just give him the chance to see it properly on your wedding day.

I cheated – Fiance did not want to hear anything about my dress, dress shopping, look at photos, but he caught me watching “Say Yes to the Dress” (I like reality shows while I sew my crafts for sale at local shops) and I got him to talk a little about what he saw and liked/didn’t like, and that helped me a bit.  My dress is now in the closet (picked it up Saturday), and I’ll find out if he likes it come May.

Post # 36
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

lamington:  lol – I’m sorry, Elmo suit really DID make me lol.

Post # 37
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

aquabee:  my Fiance saw a picture of my 1st dress when we were looking at the knot look book.  I was asking him what style he liked.  There was an ad for my dress in the dresses we were looking at and he purposefully pointed out that he didn’t like it!!  I wore 2 dresses on our wedding day.  Do you know what one he said he liked the best….the first one he hated!!  They really have no clue so dont worry 🙂

Post # 38
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

In all honesty he do you really believe that as you’re walking down the aisle he will be critiquing your wedding dress?

Realistically he’s going to be too busy holding back tears or possibly crying as he looks into your eyes, and thinks how lucky he is that he’s marrying the love of his life. I would not get another dress since you’re still in love with this one, as a previous poster said add something to it like a sash and once you’re in your make up and your veil you’re going to look beautiful in that dress.don’t stress out about this there are way too many other things that you should be thinking about in regards to your wedding. It makes you feel better tell him that that was your dress and that you’re hurt that he didn’t like it, and I bet you he will tell you that he didn’t really hate the dress he probably said he didn’t like it because you said that was not the dress you chose.

Post # 39
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Bee you WILL LOOK INDREDIBLE in that beautiful dress and he will think you look amazing on the day whatever. I agree with all PP; most men don’t *really* know an awful lot about women’s fashion but he’s marrying you and not the dress, so as long as you feel confident in it that is all that matters!

Post # 40
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t mean to be harsh here but…too fucking bad if he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t have to wear it. He won’t be the one feeling beautiful in it. All he’ll see is that YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL IN IT. Because you would look beautiful in anything you wear.

If my Fiance saw my dress and said that, I’d feel like shit for about 2 minutes and then decide that’s just too damn bad. I don’t like the car he drives but he does and that’s all that matters–and I cosigned for it! I don’t harp on it. And a car is a much longer term investment than a dress. Terrible analogy, but you get what I mean.

Men do not know women’s fashion and it’s better that way. You don’t want a new dress nor do you have to get one. When you are in it and it fits you to a T and you’re all dolled up…he will not really notice the dress. Trust me. My new husband hasn’t mentioned the dress I wore but once or twice. He kept looking at my face and my hair and ME…he mouthed “WOW” when I made it to the altar. You will get the same!!!

Post # 41
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Awww! I’m sorry you feel so sad, but to echo PPs, it really is different on the day of!  My sister actually took her Fiance with her shopping (he’s very opinionated) and they picked a dress together so he liked it from the start, but then he wasn’t allowed to see it again until the wedding day.  He confessed that he pretty much completely forgot about what it looked like by the time the wedding day rolled around.  He remembered it was white, had lace and was poofy…and he was there when she bought it!  Saw her in it for like an hour, and he still forgot what it looked like.  The chances that he already forgot what he saw is very likely!

Post # 42
Member
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - City, State

Dresses on a model look much different than dresses on real brides. I think this is similar to when men say they like women with little to no makeup- when in reality the women they’re picturing have foundation, blush, bronzer, the whole 9 yards. I wouldn’t put too much stock into his comment since right now to him it’s just some random dress on a model.

It’ll be a totally different story when it’s your wedding dress on YOU coming down the aisle with your full bridal look on your wedding day. Men don’t know much of anything when it comes to wedding dresses. My Fiance says he hates mermaid dresses but I showed him a few online and guess what? His favorite was a mermaid! A few minutes later he said, wait is that a mermaid dress…?

Post # 43
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

GirlyGirl24:  “My Fiance says he hates mermaid dresses but I showed him a few online and guess what? His favorite was a mermaid! A few minutes later he said, wait is that a mermaid dress…?”

^^^ Yes.  Mine said he hated chiffon – which threw me for a minute as I have been looking at chiffon for our beach wedding – it needs to fit in a suitcase, steam back out, and not weight a ton in the humid air or need lots of undergarments to “poof”.  Then I realized what he mean, because he added, “you know, that ballerina stuff.”  He meant tulle, which I already knew.  I knew he hated most lace, as any time I wear it he says I look like I swiped an elerly lady’s doillies.  So my dress is a heck of a lot of chiffon, and since he wasn’t even clear what chiffon IS, I am not worried.  

And on a nother note, even knowing tulle is not his favorite, I am making my own veil… out of Bridal Illusion Tulle.  

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  Isilme.
Post # 44
Member
4537 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Here’s what Darling Husband remembered about my wedding dress a few weeks after our wedding:

       It was white (note – it was ivory, actually)

       It didn’t have sleeves

       I looked beautiful in it

I guarantee your Fiance will not recognize the dress as the one in the picture, and I’m sure he will think it’s gorgeous once he sees you in it. Keep your dress and rock it on your wedding day! (and then tease him mercilessly afterward about how he supposedly didn’t like your dress)

Post # 45
Member
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve found that a lot of guys do not like that style of a dress. I don’t either. But it really doesn’t matter what he or anyone else thinks. It’s your day too. And if does say anything rude about it on your wedding day, tell him to grow up. I wish you luck.

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