(Closed) My FI saw my dress and he doesn't like it! :(

posted 4 years ago in Dress
Post # 46
Member
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - City, State

Isilme:  LOL exactly! You rock that tulle! ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 47
Member
2969 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

aquabee:  Definitely dont let this put a cloud over your day or have you second guessing your dress. You loved it for a reason, and the dresses never look as good on the models as they do on the people wearing them in real life.

He’s not going to remember the dress by the time your wedding day rolls around, and when its on the woman he loves walking down the aisle with her hair, makeup and accessories on, he won’t even believe its the same dress even if you tell him.

Post # 48
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

1) Don’t lie to him! Why did you tell him no?

2) Don’t NOT TELL him why you’re crying if he keeps asking. Now he’s just upset and confused and gone. Why would you do that…? 
Also, why would he run away when you’re upset??
Also… he should sorta realize why you’re upset, but he probably trusted you when you told him it wasn’t you, so that might explain why he’s extra confused. (please see bullet #1)

PLEASE communicate with him more.

Tell him it WAS you in the dress, ask him why he didn’t like it. It was a split second and he probably didn’t even see much. I showed my fiance some dress styles before I really started searching. I lucked out because we liked/disliked the same stuff, but I did find he mostly really disliked the very fitted mermaids with the ruffles because it makes him think of a rocket ship taking off. Once he said that, I totally could not unsee it and I sort of am amused every time I see one. I mean… Guys. lol. They have such a unique way of seeing dresses. But he meant these kinds, primarily:

 

 

But TALK TO HIM. Ask him why he didn’t like it. Ask him if he cares that much and if you should change it, or if maybe it wouldn’t matter, or would just be entirely different fitted and on your wedding day.

I agree with the PP that I’m sure it’ll be different and you’ll look very different and he won’t care, but just…. discuss it with him first and at least explain why you’re upset, and be honest and don’t lie to him. But I really doubt he’ll see it much or care that much. It’ll probably look great on you and all he’ll see is YOU.

Post # 49
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2016 - His Parents farm

weddingmaven:  Guys get overwhelmed. I think it will be Ok. But if it is typical of him to behave that way beware. I’m hopeful it isn’t. Because marriage makes it worse not better if that’s his normal. 

Post # 50
Member
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I promise he’s not going to ever remember having seen that dress and when you wear that dress on your wedding day, he’s going to tell you that you look stunning and that you picked a “much better dress” thank the one he saw. My husband breifly saw my dress a few months before we got married. (Again, on a model, and not me.) But he swears that even though I told him he’d seen my dress before, he does not remember ever seeing it on anyone but me. So no need to worry ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 51
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee

aquabee:  A quick glance never tells the whole story.  My guess is that your Fiance was being flippant.In any case he is marrying YOU not a dress so even if he hates it ( which I very much doubt) then he only needs to look at it for one day where he has to look at you every day for the rest of his life and is clearly keen to do so.

I think you should tell him that his comment has undermined your confidence but also tell him that you will not be buying another dress as it took you a long time to find one you liked in the first place.

Start your marraige on a strong, assertive note.  Wear your dress with pride and , above all, enjoy your day without overthinking the whole dress issue.

Post # 52
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I’m probably in the camp of not really caring what he thinks lol. As other PP have said, he’s not the one who has to wear the dress so if you love it and feel beautiful in it that’s all that matters. My Fiance and I have a very different idea of fashion. Whenever I go shopping with him, I’ll point out something I like and he’ll often say that he doesn’t really like it. Then, I go and try it on and he’s like ‘that actually looks good on you’. I think guys judge clothing by how it looks on the model or the rack – when you’re wearing it, it can look quite different.

I think I would’ve told him why you were crying though. Maybe not that it was the exact dress you bought, but that it was similar. With only a quick glance, I doubt he got a good look at it anyway and just said whatever popped into his head.

Post # 53
Member
25 posts
Newbee

There is a very very good chance he wont even think its the same dress. Phone photo of a dress that hasnt been perfectly fitted to you and you havent been dolled up. You will have a proper fitting, a veil, definitely add a belt or a different accessory and you will look spectacular and he will think so as well!

What he saw was only a few seconds and men dont have the capacity that we do to see somethings full potential..he just saw an unfitted cellphone photo!

You chose that dress because you felt most beautiful in it and thats what you want on your wedding day. Stay confident in what you had decided and in yourself because you wouldnt have bought that dress if you werent 100% on it.

Post # 54
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I can relate. I was sold on an all lace dress, but my fiance saw one on pinterest and told me that he hated the lace and wanted flowly. I was also devastated, and ended up getting another dress. BUT, I am completely positive that if I had gotten that dress, his reaction would have been the exact same. The day after the wedding if you ask him “what did my dress look like?”, he’s going to say “uh white?”

He will be wowed in whatever you are wearing, and I’m sure he wants what you want! Own the dress, it’s super sexy! 

Post # 55
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

LOVE that dress! I actually saw it online and was gonna look for it before I found “my dress”  it’s a stunning dress! If he only saw a quick second of a glimps of a pic he can’t really say he don’t like it. I can understand you feeling hurt, I would too. But I wouldn’t worry about it!! How can he really know if he only saw a glimps of it. Trust me, your man loves you & will be so overwhelming happy to see you walking down that aisle! He will think you look gorgeous!!!! 

Post # 56
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - Rustic secluded mountain lodge

If you’re anything like me (even though it’s logical that he doesn’t know what he is talking about/he doesn’t understand fashion) and you can’t seem to shake the weird feelings off… I would suggest to do one of two things:

1. Call the store and tell them you aren’t sure, and since the dress hasn’t been started yet – can they please apply your deposit to a different dress – or better yet return it and cancel the order for now. This will give you back the option of getting any dress (even if you decide to get the original again)

2. Be honest with your Fiance, and tell him it was your dress, he will feel awful and may backtrack his comments, but tell him you would like to know why he didn’t like it, etc. Maybe you two can work it out.

Post # 57
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I don’t understand it, men can’t see the lady’s dress or take part in selecting it, but ladies pick out the men’s wear? Am I the only woman  sees this as stupid? It is one day, and we are sold a load of crap that we need to spend thousands on a dress to be worn once? We are not Rockefellers or Obamas that that have the taxpayers pay for our whims. We are being sold that we need to send, spend, spend, and it doesn’t make us happy. This is my second time around and I am skipping a lot of the garbage we not need. NIce location, good food, family and friends. No excesses in flowers or even a wedding cake. No one eats that anyway. Simple dessert table and beer and wine flowing. 

Post # 58
Hostess
8813 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

carolyn2016:  I agree, although I do know a few people who’s grooms have picked their suits and kept them as a surprise from the bride, so it’s the same for both – think that’s neat.

Post # 59
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

aquabee:  He will think “wow” don’t you worry. And I’m sure he won’t even remember the specific dress from the picture. Men don’t typically remember the details like women. Ask most men what their wives’ dresses looked like and they’ll say “white.” ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 60
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I feel like guys might just focus on one detail on first glance.. maybe he noticed the poof on the bottom.

I actually bought this dress and ended up going with another one instead since is suited my style better.

That being said, it’s a beautiful dress and I’m sure you’d look stunning in it (it’s popular for a reason). When you’re all dolled up with hair/makeup, and veil, you’ll be a vision walking down the aisle so he won’t be zoning in on one detail, but will be taking it all in at once ๐Ÿ™‚

Don’t worry too much about it– wear what you want on you wedding day. When the whole look is complete, the details of the dress will add to the overall impression of the dress.

 

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