(Closed) My FI slapped me across the face. Now what?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Stop making excuses for him. He hit you. It’s only going to get worse. Please leave, and have some respect for yourself. People who love you do NOT hit you. Ever. Not because they are unemployed, not because they are stressed. NEVER.

I urge you to read this post by a fellow Bee. It’s inspired a lot of Bees who have found the courage to leave their abusers for true love and happiness.


Post # 4
1359 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t know if he can change or not. I don’t know if he’s a good person who’s going through a hard time or he’s just now showing his true colors.

I do know I would never stay with someone who treated me like this. I have too much pride. I urge you to leave immediately and leave him to deal with his own mess.

Post # 5
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I know you probably don’t want to hear this ….but IMO you should run ,..now…far.  There is ABSOLUTELY no excuse for a man to lay his hands on you in anger I don’t care HOW stressed he is or if he’s ever done it before.  This is how all the stories on Maury Povich start.  If he’s abusing you both mentally (calling you a bitch and a POS) and physicall (hitting you) should get out NOW!  I would NEVER tolerate that behavior. I don’t know you but I do know this….you are worth MUCH more than he deserves if he is gonna treat you like that!!!!!!!

Post # 6
3776 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

Leave. Leave. Leave.

Post # 7
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

From what I’ve read, no Bee will tell you to leave over an argument, but if he hit you, you need to leave. It is clearly escalating and you need to stay safe.

Post # 8
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Being violent in a relationship is never, ever justifiable. I don’t care how stressed out, angry or down on himself he is right now.

“I just feel like this douchewad just threw away something amazing”

Yes, yes he did. You are not being too hard on him. Please consider packing up and leaving. If he is willing to hit you once, chances are he will be willing to do it again. Are you okay with being in a relationship with someone knowing that they could snap and hit you at any time? I wouldn’t be. This is not okay. If you stay, you are just sending a message that you will tolerate this kind of behavior.

Is there someone you can call and stay with? Friends, a family member, a co-worker? Anyone? Please get out.

Post # 9
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Leave.  Something is seriously wrong with him if he hits you because he’s stressed out.  That is not acceptable under any circumstances.

Post # 10
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Sunset Harbour


If this iss how he reacts to stress in his life – you do not want to be married to him. This will not be the last time in his life that he is overcome with stress –  but you can make it the last time you take his abuse.

Post # 11
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I agree with all previous posters.  Chances are he has done it to another woman in the past, and will do it to another woman after you.  He showed that he has a problem with his temper.  That doesn’t typically just appear overnight, nor can it be ignored.

You need to be with someone that you feel safe with.

I think what I find most disturbing about the whole thing is that he went and made dinner and left you in the bathroom.  I would think that if he was really truly sorry for his behavior, he would have been sitting right outside that bathroom door waiting for you to come out… trying to talk to you, something.

Please, please, please do not stay with someone who is hurting you.  This is abusive behavior, there is a very high possibility of it escalating.  Don’t let it get to the point of potentially deadly consequences.

All of us ladies are here to talk to. 

Post # 12
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

As the daughter of a long-term victim of domestic violence and years of being a witness to it, I can tell you that IT WILL NEVER GET BETTER. He will ALWAYS apologize and tell you that he will never do it again, and he ALWAYS will.  It’s a cycle that many many women get sucked in to.  

If you don’t leave now, you will spend your life walking on eggshells, wondering when and how he will abuse you again, and spend your time hiding your bruises and lying to your friends and family about how you got them. If that’s what you want for your life, then you should stay. If not, GET THE HELL OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! 

Post # 13
380 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Once they hit you, its over, end of story…I am sorry but there is no coming back from that.

Post # 14
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

All I can say is I’m glad you found out he’s an abuser before you married him. Do not pass Go, do not seek counselling, get yourself out of this situation now and don’t look back.

Post # 15
2893 posts
Sugar bee

Life will always have it’s hardships and some will be harder than unemployment. Get out. If this is how he reacts to stress you need to get out ASAP. Keep care of yourself. No matter what  he says, no matter how much he apologizes, IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. It always does. Be safe. Get out.

Post # 16
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

PP have said it all, you need to leave because he will not change and the abuse-apology cycle will continue. I suggest you leave now and stay with a friend or family, then tomorrow come back with a couple of people (deterrents to stop him getting violent again) and pack up your stuff. Letting the police know, even if you don’t press charges, is a good idea so if he does do it again to you or someone else they will know he is a repeat offender.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you. It must be devastating. But if you leave, in a few years from now you will look back and think ‘wow, I dodged a bullet there.’

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