(Closed) My FI wants to hire help for ME!?!?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I take it as a insult?
    yes : (16 votes)
    14 %
    no : (78 votes)
    69 %
    maybe : (19 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I was a nanny for a SAHM with three kids.  She also had a house cleaner who did laundry.  I don’t think your husband is trying to say anything about your housekeeping or parenting skills, if you have the funds to hire someone I think you should.  I was exhausted after my time helping her out so I couldn’t imagine doing that full time.  Even if a nanny comes a few afternoons a week, you can use that time to work out, see friends, or just get some ‘me’ time.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I don’t think he is being insulting, it shoulds like he is probably trying to give you a break. I think if you don’t want just tell him. However having at least a housekeeper come in and do a big clean one a week would probably be so helpful. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    2876 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @ashasmith:  i think hes trying to be sweet!! maybe he wants you to have a few hours to yourself every week as a break. i wouldnt take it as a negative! or  he thinks youre working too hard and wants to take care of you?

    could it be a family thing? like his mum was madly busy and tired and really needed help but didnt have any…and it hit a chord with him as a child? or maybe hes just already dreamed of being successful enough to have “help”?

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    1576 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

     A housekeeper means he wants to ease your burden and have more you/couple time! Honey, I love your FI! What a man!

    Post # 7
    Member
    3453 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t take it as an insult.  If you can afford it, then by all means do it!

    Post # 8
    Member
    270 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    How is that insulting?  He’s being sweet!  That’s like getting a brand new dress from your husband and being insulted that he doesn’t like the way you dress, or getting a diamond necklace and being insulted because you think that he thinks you’re too plain.

    Post # 9
    Member
    310 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Wow…I wouldn’t take it as an insult.  I’d take it as…ahhh, he sees how stressed I am and is trying to help.  So sweet.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @ashasmith

    I think its a thoughtful gesture.  Maybe he wants to look out for you and make sure you don’t get worn out.  At least try it out and take him up on it (it may work to your advantage) if it doesnt work for you then im sure you guys can decide to discontinue.

    Post # 11
    Member
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Unless it was preceded by a few weeks of snide comments or constant critiques of the house, I’d say that this is just one sweet SO! I can see how you may feel that it’s a slight, but really, I think the PPs are right on – he thinks you’re great, you’re doing LOTS, you’re doing well, and you deserve a little bit of the load off your shoulders. I’d snatch up a coffee and let the nanny/housekeeper do his/her thing! 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I would say HELL YEAH!!!

    Post # 13
    Member
    4888 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I would sign up for this in a heartbeat.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3183 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m pretty sure my ideal world includes never cleaning, so I would have NO problem with that. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I would not for a second take that as an insult. I would take it that your husband actually values how much work you put in for the family (don’t take that for granted at all) and how much you do for everyone and wants to lighten your load a little by having someone who can watch the kids while you run errands, for instance, or clean the bathroom so you can focus on a project for the PTA or helping with homework instead. Even if you don’t feel stressed or like you can’t handle it all, you’ll see that after you have a little bit of help you may have time for some stuff that wasn’t the top priority before, like “me time” or date nights with your husband. (Just throwing out examples, not trying to say you don’t do that stuff, etc. because you didn’t say in the OP, not trying to be insulting, just throwing out common type examples). If you are very against it then put your foot down, but I definitely wouldn’t be insulted and I would take it as a compliment that your husband sees how much you balance (and probably realizes that he couldn’t balance all that you do and it probably seems crazy to him!).

    Post # 16
    Member
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t take it as an insult! I’m guessing he just wants to take some of the pressure off you so you don’t get too frazzled. 

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