(Closed) My FI won’t come over because I’m sick. Seriously?

posted 7 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
46675 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Smart man. The big difference is that he is not kissing, hugging or holding his patients in ER.

Post # 4
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I do think it’s a little silly because you’re most contagious the first three days if anything.  Sorry you’re feeling sick and obviously lonely.  I hope you feel better soon!

@julies1949: He doesn’t HAVE to do all those things with her.  He could spend some quality time with her while keeping his distance.

Post # 5
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would be very offended.  What happened to in sickness and in health?  This is when you need him the most!

Post # 6
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@are_you_serious: What are you sick with? Fiance and I live together and we passed it back and forth about 5 times… it wa bad.

Post # 7
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

*raises hand*

That’s totally me and Fiance too. I get it though, he was a premi and his lungs are no good, he gets sick very easily. Plus his bout with cancer years ago had an effect on his immune system. 

When he’s sick, I go over and take care of him. But that’s cuz I don’t care if I get sick lol!

I’m sorry you’re feeling yucky. Hugs your way!

Post # 8
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What happens when you live together? He gets a hotel room?? 

You bet I would be pissed.

I think it’s even more ridiculous because he spends his days surrounded by sick people. It’s not like you’re asking him to come over for a hot make out session so you can pass on your germs. 

Post # 9
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I avoid my husband when he’s sick. Nothing personal, just neither of us like to be touched when sick. Give me orange juice and a Tylenol PM and leave me alone please!

Post # 10
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012


My man and I have done the same. For literally 5 weeks we passed it back and forth. As soon as one person started to get over it, the other would start getting ill again. I was so over it by week 3.

I don’t think it’s totally crazy of him to stay away while he’s working at the hospital, to be honest.

It wouldn’t be good of him to bring something even worse home and then give it to you whilst your immunity was already down!

Post # 11
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

I think anyone who works in a place where there’s a lot of contact with others should a)stay home when sick and b)avoid sick people so they don’t spread the germs!

A few months ago, someone asked whether people kissed their SOs when they were sick. I was stunned that the majority said they did.  I hate sore throats…why would I want to expose Mr. Mink to getting one if I’m suffering with one myself? 


Post # 12
342 posts
Helper bee

I stay away from Darling Husband like the plague when he’s sick and he does the same with me.  When we didn’t live together we’d always wait to visit.  “In sickness and in health” mean serious illness to me.  Not a stomach bug or bad cold that will cause me to stay home from work.  I don’t get paid sick days so it’s just not worth it to us 🙂  I wouldn’t take it personally.  As long as you’re able to move around and make meals for yourself then he isn’t leaving you in a bind.

Post # 13
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@are_you_serious: Med students are notorious hypochondriacs. He would be way more insufferable if he came to see you and then did catch whatever you have, whether it was from you or elsewhere, or managed to convince himself he did.

My hubby doesn’t stay away from me when I’m sick, but the lucky skunk gets nearly unlimited sick days so it’s no skin off his back if he does catch what I’ve got!

Post # 14
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My Fiance still kisses and hugs me when I am sick, but understands that I can’t do the same. I get everything much worse than he does.  We would never not visit each other though, just not be too smoochy! What is your Fiance planning to do when you are married?? Stay in a hotel?

Did he at least send you some sweet messages and maybe some soup??

Post # 16
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yeah, I grew up with an ER doctor for a dad. If I was sick he wouldn’t even be in the same room as myself without freaking out. Although when he was around he told be everything I could possibly have just to get to me. If I had a cold it was nose cancer. Maybe it’s better your Fiance isn’t around…. 😉

In seriousness though, I’d let him skate while you aren’t living together this once…it’s probably less stressful for him and you don’t want him to get sick either…but obiviously that will change once you’re married. We made a serious effort to not use the same towels if anyone was sick in the house and washed our hands regularly. Tell him to bring some masks home from work, but he has to wear them if he is paranoid, not you…. 

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