Post # 1
I usually post under a different username but I want to rant anonymously…
I have been sick since Thursday and my Fiance doesn’t want to come over to see me while I’m still “contagious”. That’s right, he called me “contagious”!. I try to be understanding because he’s a med student and he’s doing placement and can’t afford to take any sick days. However, the part that bugs me is that he’s doing he’s placement in the ER of a hospital that is FULL of sick people.
Is it wrong for me to feel somewhat offended? Does anyone else have a Fiance who stays away from them when they’re ill? Ughhhh….
Post # 3
Smart man. The big difference is that he is not kissing, hugging or holding his patients in ER.
Post # 4
I do think it’s a little silly because you’re most contagious the first three days if anything. Sorry you’re feeling sick and obviously lonely. I hope you feel better soon!
@julies1949: He doesn’t HAVE to do all those things with her. He could spend some quality time with her while keeping his distance.
Post # 5
I would be very offended. What happened to in sickness and in health? This is when you need him the most!
Post # 6
@are_you_serious: What are you sick with? Fiance and I live together and we passed it back and forth about 5 times… it wa bad.
Post # 7
That’s totally me and Fiance too. I get it though, he was a premi and his lungs are no good, he gets sick very easily. Plus his bout with cancer years ago had an effect on his immune system.
When he’s sick, I go over and take care of him. But that’s cuz I don’t care if I get sick lol!
I’m sorry you’re feeling yucky. Hugs your way!
Post # 8
What happens when you live together? He gets a hotel room??
You bet I would be pissed.
I think it’s even more ridiculous because he spends his days surrounded by sick people. It’s not like you’re asking him to come over for a hot make out session so you can pass on your germs.
Post # 9
I avoid my husband when he’s sick. Nothing personal, just neither of us like to be touched when sick. Give me orange juice and a Tylenol PM and leave me alone please!
Post # 10
My man and I have done the same. For literally 5 weeks we passed it back and forth. As soon as one person started to get over it, the other would start getting ill again. I was so over it by week 3.
I don’t think it’s totally crazy of him to stay away while he’s working at the hospital, to be honest.
It wouldn’t be good of him to bring something even worse home and then give it to you whilst your immunity was already down!
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
I think anyone who works in a place where there’s a lot of contact with others should a)stay home when sick and b)avoid sick people so they don’t spread the germs!
A few months ago, someone asked whether people kissed their SOs when they were sick. I was stunned that the majority said they did. I hate sore throats…why would I want to expose Mr. Mink to getting one if I’m suffering with one myself?
Post # 12
I stay away from Darling Husband like the plague when he’s sick and he does the same with me. When we didn’t live together we’d always wait to visit. “In sickness and in health” mean serious illness to me. Not a stomach bug or bad cold that will cause me to stay home from work. I don’t get paid sick days so it’s just not worth it to us 🙂 I wouldn’t take it personally. As long as you’re able to move around and make meals for yourself then he isn’t leaving you in a bind.
Post # 13
@are_you_serious: Med students are notorious hypochondriacs. He would be way more insufferable if he came to see you and then did catch whatever you have, whether it was from you or elsewhere, or managed to convince himself he did.
My hubby doesn’t stay away from me when I’m sick, but the lucky skunk gets nearly unlimited sick days so it’s no skin off his back if he does catch what I’ve got!
Post # 14
My Fiance still kisses and hugs me when I am sick, but understands that I can’t do the same. I get everything much worse than he does. We would never not visit each other though, just not be too smoochy! What is your Fiance planning to do when you are married?? Stay in a hotel?
Did he at least send you some sweet messages and maybe some soup??
Post # 15
@julies1949: That’s true about him not hugging or kissing his patients. I would be happy with him visiting me and keeping a distance though (but knowing him, he wouldn’t be able to do that lol)
@gogogiraffes: i just have a really bad cold.
@Bunnygirl: He checked up on me via text message a few times and told me which drugs to take to feel better. So I guess he’s sweet in his own hypochondraic kind of way lol.
You guys have made some really good points. I’m usually pretty understanding but I didn’t leave the house for the entire weekend and the sickness/boredom/loneliness made me feel a little bit crazy. I hardly ever get sick thank goodness. Fi was going to come over last night but first he made me list my symptoms to determine if I was still contagious. Then he decided not to come over. Oh well, I still love him even though he’s avoiding me like the plague.
Post # 16
Yeah, I grew up with an ER doctor for a dad. If I was sick he wouldn’t even be in the same room as myself without freaking out. Although when he was around he told be everything I could possibly have just to get to me. If I had a cold it was nose cancer. Maybe it’s better your Fiance isn’t around…. 😉
In seriousness though, I’d let him skate while you aren’t living together this once…it’s probably less stressful for him and you don’t want him to get sick either…but obiviously that will change once you’re married. We made a serious effort to not use the same towels if anyone was sick in the house and washed our hands regularly. Tell him to bring some masks home from work, but he has to wear them if he is paranoid, not you….