(Closed) my fiance actually said …

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

My husband said the same thing about holding other people’s babies, you don’t really want to hold them but you do it to be nice. I’m pregnant with our second child right now so I know it’s not that he doesn’t love babies or anything, that’s just his opinion on one tiny thing that has no effect on anything else. You can’t take things like that to heart, otherwise you’ll drive yourself crazy looking for a deeper meaning that isn’t actually there.

He probably means you have to sit in church, dress up, spend money, it’s all kind of time consuming and done out of obligation. That’s his opinion, oh well. It doesn’t mean he’s not excited to marry you. Don’t analyze.

Post # 4
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Ha! I’m laughing, thinking “oh, he’s such a boy.” I agree with KaryElle, don’t analyze what he said.

I know there are parts of our wedding that Fiance is not looking forward to. The religious parts of our ceremony. Having to dance with his Mom (if I didn’t know how much it would mean to her, I’d suggest we cut it out.) Having to dance with me (until the end of the night, when his beers have kicked in.)

And he has a point- weddings and funerals are family reunions, of sorts- you have to have a really good reason not to attend. And most men don’t want to attend either of them.

Post # 5
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yeah, I almost kind of agree with him.  I’ve always heard others complain about having to go to someone’s wedding.  They always did because they saw it as disrespectful if they didn’t RSVP or go.

Post # 6
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m totally the person who hates going to weddings. My own, I am deluded enough to think EVERYONE will want to go, but, frankly, I hate dressing up, dancing, having to figure out who is Dirty Delete, where we will stay, how much money to put in the card, etc.

Am I happy my friends are getting married? Hell yeah! I just don’t want to have to go.

I wouldn’t be offended. Just take it as I am– he doesn’t like anyones wedding but his own and close family.

Post # 7
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Not unusual, I sometimes feel that way myself.

Post # 8
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Stace126:  Yep, thats basically how I feel at least half of the time.

Post # 9
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

aw, it sounds like he thought he was just being funny. I wouldnt read too much into it. 

Post # 10
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have to agree a bit. We are Baptists so no dancing at weddings.. period. So we have the ceremony, then eat, and it’s over… Kinda boring.

Post # 11
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

He’s probably just talking about the whole dress up, sit quietly in church, be all formal and make small talk all night… I find guys have a tendancy to make REALLY bad analogies, they see some similarities (facts, numbers) and bingo, it’s totally the same, where girls will see other similarities (feeling, ambiance) and kinda of go “WHAT?!?!” If he seems genuinely excited about your wedding he’s probably just complaining about stuffiness and being expected to make small talk with a bunch of people, especially if it causes him anxiety.

Post # 12
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I wouldn’t read much into it. I completely agree with him. I detest going to weddings. I’m always terribly bored, usually hot (I live in the South, and people love hot summer weddings), and they’re always expensive. Plus, I hate being obligated to do things (especially on my days off), but I’m obligated to go to some weddings or everyone will think I’m a horrible person. This doesn’t mean I’m not happy for my friends/family who are getting married. I just dislike the actual event. I would never tell the couple this stuff, but I do confide in my Darling Husband (who feels the same way). I’m sure that’s all he was trying to do. 

Post # 13
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

@Stace126:  Haha, mine would have said the same thing. I think he was just being a typical guy. I’d shrug it off, don’t take it seriously. They feel the same way about babies, like KatyElle said.

Post # 14
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m also not a wedding person. Yet, here I am… planning a big, traditional-ish one! It actually really helped our planning because I didn’t want to have the wedding feel that I dislike so much (regular ol’ banquet hall, poor food, music I dislike, impersonal ceremony). So I made our decisions based off of that. 

Maybe ask your Fiance what he doesn’t like about weddings and it can help you too! 

Post # 15
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Rouquine:  @takemyhand:  agreed!

I’ve actually said that myself. I was with a group of friends and we all agreed about that too…

Post # 16
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sorry but your story made me laugh just because I know my fiance would say the exact same thing.  You pretty much just have to ignore it, at least I do, because if I got worked up over every negative thing that my fiance said about our wedding or friends’ weddings I would  be a mess.  I think it’s just a typical guy thing…

 

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