Post # 1
My fiance & I got engaged in December 2011 and planning to get married in Sept 2012. We have been dating for 3 years. When we first met I knew that he had been married before and he told me that the marriage was annuled or an actual divore was done. Well 72 day before our wedding as we are trying to make sure we have things in order he tells me he cannot find the divorce decree and there is a possibility they are still married. According to him and his sister and the rest of his family, his wife left him the day after the wedding and said that it was a mistake and she did not want to be married to him. So he left and never layed eyes on her again. So now here we are 15 years late and there is a strong possibility he is still married to her. I am so confused! My invitations are gone out family has booked plane tickets thousands of dollars spent on venue. I am really confused and heart broken.
Post # 3
Contact the clerk of courts and find out first thing in the morning! I hope he is just being a space case about where he left the decree!
Post # 5
I agree. Contact the clerk of court. See what the legal status is. Does he know her contact info/location? If the clerk can’t find any record, contact and attorney ASAP to see about what type of filing can be done and how quickly.
If all else fails, you can always have your ceremony and then go to the courthouse after to make it legally official once the paperwork gets sorted out (if that’s an option you’re comfortable with, some folks aren’t).
Post # 6
I agree go to the county to find out. He might be able to file for an annulment or divorce based on abandonment.
Post # 7
Frankly, I would be pissed if my Fiance sprung this on me.
How could anyone not know if they were divorced?
He’d best get on it first thing on Monday if you hope to be able to keep your wedding date.
Post # 8
what legal action did he take for his divorce? did he actually receive a divorce decree “in hand”? what do you need to apply for your marriage license? i would have made sure i had this before setting a date. hopefully this doesn’t cost a lot of money on legal fees if they need to rush this through.
not sure where you are from but in ontario you need your divorce certificate not just the decree to get a marriage license. the decree just states what date your divorce will be finalized, usually 30 days after the judge signs it.
get on it right away.
Post # 9
@julies1949: yeah, i would be kind of pissed too.
Post # 10
How do you live 15 years without knowing if your’e divorced? Holy Hell. Good luck, OP.
Post # 11
If you have a lawyer you use regularly contact them- their clerks are used to searching for legal documents, and should be able to get the info you need quickly and easily. If he is still married, I would look into what your state requires to get a divorce decree, and start the process. Talk to you officiant/venue and let them know whats going on- they may agree to do the ceremony on your date, and then you can go to the courthouse and make it official when the divorce issue is straightened out.
I’m really sorry it sounds like you are super stressed and I would be too. I would try not to be to pissed at him though, my Fiance can be the same- paperwork, bills etc are not his strong suit. I take care of most of that stuff so it doesn’t get forgtten misplaced etc. And I can totally see him being upset at being left the day after the wedding and not thinking about taking care of paperwork the way he should have. I hope you are able to get everything straightened out and have a beautiful wedding.
Post # 12
*THINKING OUTLOUD* There is nothing you can do this weekend but if you know her name you can do a little searching on the Googles. You can see if she’s been remarried since. If she has then you’ll know your answer to if the divorce was final. Search Facebook for her or even the white pages and give her a call. i would, I would need to know something right now to calm me down a bit if I were you.
Post # 13
I’m sorry, but that is ridiculous. If he was divorced, he would know. Trust me on that because it’s not cheap nor easy so he would remember. That is some BS. I’d be beyond pissed off at having this shiz sprung on me.
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
@mixtapehearts: I just want to say that it can be both cheap and easy, especially if they got divorced so fast. They probably didn’t have shared possessions and finances to fight over. My divorce took a whole of 5 minutes and cost filing fees with the county… like $100? Still, though, I don’t know how you would forget whether you did that or not.
Post # 15
I agree. This is a little fishy. It sounds like he could be scared to tell you that they technically never divorced. I think that is something you would remember. Maybe the marriage license was never filed?
Post # 16
@mixtapehearts: Eh, mine cost me $75 and an hour of my time (30 day waiting period notwithstanding). I have my decree, and I remember it, kinda, but mine was also only 4 years ago. I feel like a whole lifetime can pass in 15 years and my process was SO easy and painless that I could see not being sure as to whether or not all of the paperwork was completed. People can block out painful blocks of time.
Not that that’s ok, it’s not, but I guess I could see it happening. I’ve also moved 8 times since the divorce and don’t really know where my paperwork is at the moment. I hope OP’s Fiance is telling the truth. I would hate to hear that he never took care of it and is trying to cover that up now.
OP- Go to the county clerk first thing monday morning. They’ll have all of your answers. His losing the paperwork is a nonissue, as you can get copies. If he hasn’t completed the paperwork, then you have a problem. Good luck, and update us!