(Closed) My Fiance Cheated on Me

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
8465 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle

@bsullivan9:  Oh, sister. My heart hurts for you. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this ๐Ÿ™ 

I think it is in your best interest to postpone the wedding and get couple’s counseling. I’m not one to automatically jump to a conclusion about a stranger’s relationship and tell them to immediately break up. Some couples are strong enough to work through infidelity. 

Post # 4
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oh no ๐Ÿ™

For me even one incident of cheating is all it would take to end our relationship so I can’t even imagine my Darling Husband cheating with multiple people over a period of months.

I don’t know what to say. If it were me I would end it with him, you deserve better. But we all have our own personal limits and only you know yours. The fact that this has been going on with multiple women is especially troubling ๐Ÿ™ I mean… too many to count??

Post # 5
7276 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@bsullivan9:  I’m sorry you are going through this. Did he meet up with them? Does he know you know?

Personally, if Darling Husband was sending/receiving pictures I would try to work it out. If he physically touched someone or was chatting with them I’m not sure that I could work that out.


Post # 6
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

To @bsullivan9:  Aaaah, Hon… my heart is breaking for you reading your post

((( BIG HUGS ))) to you

In truth…

I am a BIG Believer that the Engagement should be the happiest period in a couple’s life.  So if things are off the rails when you are engaged, that is a tell tale sign for the future (sorry)

If my guy was sending pics of his “equipment” to other people… and recieving the same…


No second chances.

I have high standards… I expect my man to make me ALWAYS his first priority

(And ya, I wasn’t always this girl… I learned these lessons the hard way)

I will suggest for you, the things that made a world of difference in my life…

Take some time to grieve this loss… and recover properly

Maybe even consider some counselling… but take some time out just FOR YOU to work on YOU

And while you do… pick up the following great books, all written by men who got tired of watching women they appreciated & loved get effed over by less than deserving men in their lives (these books will empower you and give you a new perspective / strength… and understanding on men going forward)

Book # 1 – For RIGHT NOW

Greg Behrendt’s – It’s Called a Break Up Because It’s Broken

Book # 2 – Also by Greg Behrendt – He’s Just Not That Into You

Book # 3 – You’ll want to BUY this one, cause it will CHANGE your life… and how you relate to men.  It will help you take an Inventory of WHO YOU ARE (Goddess) and WHAT YOU WANT IN A MAN… and how to tell the Winners from Losers.  Where to look for Quality Men.  How to Date with a plan so you no longer take things willy-nilly and just settle

Dr Phil’s – Love Smart ~ Find The One You Want – Fix the one you got

Book # 4 & # 5 – Two fun reads… but very educational too on how men think… both by Steve Harvey

Act Like A Lady – Think Like a Man


Straight Talk, No Chaser

MY BEST ADVICE… UP YOUR GAME… and the quality of men will improve too !!

Break it off with this guy… it will be hard for sure.  But better now than later.  Much easier to break and Engagement than it ever is to go thru a Divorce

(I wouldn’t wish a Divorce on my worst Enemy… having gone thru that horrid experience)

You can get thru this… you will come out better on the other side … I PROMISE !!

You DESERVE more from a man than this jerk-off attitude (he’s very immature not ready to marry be someone’s ONE & ONLY clearly)

Kick his butt to the curb… and let someone else pick up the trash !!

((( HUGS )))


Post # 7
49 posts
  • Wedding: April 2013

Lady – this is awful. I am so sorry. ๐Ÿ™

Your feelings of wanting to work it out are likely the ‘fight’ in ‘fight or flight’ from this awful situation… and noble though they may be, I just don’t think this is worth fighting for. 

Dishonesty, cheating, lying,… you know things will never be the same. 

It sounds like you don’t like who that will make you become. And at the end of the day, you might love him right now but you need to love yourself ALWAYS and FOREVER. 

I’m not sure it actually matters if he physically touched these people or not… if this is going to change who YOU are, the person that you like and want to be… then regardless of what type of cheating it was, it’s scared you and that warrants a big step back… and possibly a big step forward in your life withOUT him. 

Post # 8
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@bsullivan9:  I’m so sorry you’re in this situation but:

DO NOT try to “work it out”. The relationship is over. He has shown that he does not love you and can never be trusted. You need to leave his worthless ass asap.

(((hugs))) I know it’s hard, but staying is worse.

Post # 9
855 posts
Busy bee

Leave. Seriously don’t try to stay, don’t try to fix this. Run or you’ll regret it later. You deserve way better

Post # 10
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m so sorry! I hate to say this but I think you need to move on. Multiple people?? You deserve so much better. I know it’s scary but in time you will get past it.

Keep us updated. Just remember, things will get better.

Post # 11
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@bsullivan9:  I am so sorry this is happening to you! 

I don’t really have any advice… But I think it’s better you found out now. He did you a favor by showing you his true colors before you started planning your whole future together. Obviously I don’t know your Fiance or your relationship, but if I was in your shoes I would run, and I would run fast!!

Did you confront him about this?

Post # 13
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@bsullivan9:  Ummm no… What could he possibly explain “later” that he can’t explain now?

I dated a cheater once, and I caught him (like you) by going through his texts and facebook messages, because I had a feeling something wasn’t right. I lived with this guy for 2 years and I pieced  it together that the cheating and hanging out with other women was happening every time I would go out of town. It hurt so much to find out because I NEVER would have expected it. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach ๐Ÿ™

I promise you this: things will get better. If you can walk away from this, time will heal your wounds and you will find happiness again. 

Post # 14
4436 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@bsullivan9:  I’m really sorry:( I would personally cut my losses and move on. I have been with numerous cheaters and none of them ever changed in the slightest. *hugs*

Post # 15
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Like a lot of other people who have posted, i would never put up with cheating. I met my Fiance after I broke up with a guy that had been cheating on me. You can find someone who loves you and wouldn’t imagine doing anything like this to you.

keep your chin up.  We are all here for you <3

Post # 16
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@bsullivan9:  Why are you the one fighting for this relationship? You need to get out and if he really wants you, then he needs to fight to get you back.

I think the multiple emails and setting up dates at your place behind your back is enough to make me want to walk. Then the fact that he didnt stop everything and come over to talk to you about getting caught, tells me his is trying to cover his tracks (I hope you printed out the emails) and come up with some lie.

But if you really, really think that he is being sincere about working on your relationship…I would demand the following things,

1) All his passwords–phone, computer, all email and social media

2) You can check his phone, computer any time for any reason

3) tracking and key logger software in his computer (so he cant just clear his history)

4) couples therapy

5) tracking software on his phone, so you can see where he goes

Wow, for me that just seems like too much effort just to regain the trust.


But I have a feeling that he is going to try to deny or gaslight you or blame you for his cheating. Dont fall for his manipulations!

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