(Closed) My fiance cheated on me for 2 years. Now I am not sure what to do.

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 61
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

 

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jillybeanz:  If he truly loved you, why would he use you and take you for granted? Not to mention run around on you 24/7? Sounds like if you marry him you’ll live a life of misery.

Post # 62
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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jillybeanz:  PLEASE LET THIS NOT BE REAL because blaming it on yourself for “working” and all that is absolutely ridiculous. The fact that you “don’t know what to do” is also insane because you’re here and should know no one will say “yea, I see your point and he says he loves you so it must be true!!!!” Value yourself. Respect yourself. 

Post # 63
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Bellagio, Las Vegas

Holy crap. Run. Run real fast away from this loser and never look back.

Post # 64
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

[comment moderated for name calling]

Post # 65
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL.

 

READ IT.

Post # 67
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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jillybeanz: At the very least, if you can’t find the strength to leave him right now please please don’t marry him and don’t buy a house with him… that way you can leave when you get the strength without all the complications involved.

Post # 68
Member
2762 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m confused about why you’re confused.

Your Fiance is certainly not confused (you’re not in a monogamous relationship).

His lover is not confused (you’re not in a monogamous relationship).

How are YOU confused? (You’re not in a monogamous relationship.) Do you want a monogamous relationship? I’m not judging if you do or don’t; it’s just very clear that that would be an impossibility with him. Soooo…what kind of a relationship do you want?

Also, my friend, when you get married all of your problems get WORSE. What’s good in your relationship will get better and what’s bad will get worse. His cheating and flaunting it in your face and blatant disrespect will get WORSE. Is that what you want? Fuck your parents’ advice and fuck his apologies, none of that is real. Your LIFE is real. Is this what you want your life to be like?

Post # 69
Member
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

He will not change. Period.

You have two choices:

  1. Become okay with having an open marriage where he (or both of you) can have sex with other people under certain conditions
  2. Leave him
Post # 70
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

Fuck that, dump him now. Do not marry him. I dated a guy 5 years, he cheated on me for most of them, but I was blind. I left him because I KNOW cheaters and liars do not change. If someone loves you they won’t cheat, period. He is the problem here not you. You deserve better.

Post # 71
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

You’re only considering staying because you aren’t sure you can find someone who will treat you better. Spoiler: You can.

Post # 72
Member
688 posts
Busy bee

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jillybeanz:  “I know he loves me otherwise he would have already left.” I’m sorry but that is a very naive and false statement. People stay together who don’t love each other all the time. 

“We are already buying a house together and getting married soon.”

So are you open to advice and getting out or aren’t you? If you are, then leave. The guy’s a dog, and he’s not going to change. If that’s what you want for the rest of your life, then stay. 

Post # 73
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2004

 

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jillybeanz:  I am so sorry you are going through this and HORRIFIED that your own parents are pressuring you to stay <br /><br />I know it feels too big to leave and like time will make it easier, but the opposite is true.  You are planning marriage and to buy a house together, those entanglements will only make it more difficult to leave.<br /><br />

Unless you are truly okay with him continuing to cheat throughout your marriage you need to leave, NOW.  He is not going to change, this will always be your reality. 

If you haven’t already, please get yourself tested.

Post # 74
Member
660 posts
Busy bee

Is this guy a billionaire because that is the only reason i would think anyone would give him chance after chance, plus your parents want you to give him a second chance. Yup he must be super rich.

Post # 75
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Leave this asshole. Things will not get better. He will always cheat, and even if he’s not, you’ll always worry he is. This is a no brainer. 

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