(Closed) My Fiance cheated on me… Update

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I hope the two of you can salvage your relationship.  You might want to consider couple’s counseling to work through any issues that are left over.

Post # 4
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m glad you got what you needed from him.  I hope it works out for you both!

Post # 5
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Chiotilidieo: I don’t judge you for taking him back.  I hope he truly is the man of your dreams and the man you need him to be.  Good luck!!

Post # 6
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Chiotilidieo: i dont think it would be fair for anyone on here to judge you. none of use will every truly understand what happened and your relationship. I hope that you guys can work through things. I really hope that you trust him. EIther way I think you should do counseling…GOOD LUCK 🙂

Post # 7
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

If you really want to make this work you are going to have to try and forgive him and not hold a grudge. Even if you want to hold it against him.

Otherwise, it will keep coming up in arguments and in the future and thats not good for anyone.

Believe me, I have been through it. It didnt work because I couldn’t fully forgive my ex for what he did and that was the demise of our relationship.

So, the only advice I have for you is try try and do your best to work towards truly forgiving him. Good luck and I hope everything works out for yall!

Post # 9
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Chiotilidieo: I’m glad that you two are working on things and taking it slow and rebuilding. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that, but you know what’s best for you.

I do agree with what the PPs have mentioned, working through this in some sort of counseling / pre-marital counseling (once you get to that point again) can really benefit your relationship and help you both put it to rest. Then you won’t harbor it someplace within and he will be able to not worry that you may still be holding it against him. 

Best of luck, and good for you for being so smart and so strong!

Post # 10
2088 posts
Buzzing bee

Can’t believe I missed this update thread! I’m so glad things worked out for you 🙂 I wish you two all the best in building your relationship back up again.

(Out of curiousity though… where in the world did you get him to do a lie detector test?! That seems so random, I didn’t realize normal people could actually take them.)

Post # 11
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Gingersnap: They are actually quite popular now, usually ex military officers or other people with experience use them for stuff like this

OP- please consider the PP advice and get to couple’s councelling stat-there are still alot of issues that need to be handled here, and I honestly believe that if his heart is in the right place, he will wholeheartedly WANT to go and work on your relationship in that manner. I wish the best for the both of you.

Post # 12
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Gingersnap: I was wondering the same thing!  I had no idea regular people could take lie detector tests, unless they went on Maury or something.  OP, I hope everything works out for the best.  Thanks for the update.

Post # 13
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

As long as he understands trust is no longer a given from you to him, that h has to earn it back, and he ‘fessed up to ANY kind of wrong doing and lies, then I think you guys ahve a good chance.  The only probelms that occur is when lying continues, either from shame, denial or avoidance, when the person is thinking they are avoiding trouble by hiding more, intead of just getting it all out at once, proving thre is nothing else hidden.  Relationships need to ahve things in the open as much a possible, especially about friendships and conversations with the opposite sex (or whatever sex you are attracted to).  There was someethign I read about people needing to be vigilant about the relationsips, as its all too easy these days to “fall” for a frien or co worker, or ex online or in person, and unless you are aware of your actions and how they may be perceived, you can send all the wrong signals, or find yourself soemwhere you didn’t want to be, AND then compound it by lying. 

Good luck – I hope things work out 🙂

Post # 14
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Chiotilidieo: Holy crap, you made him take a lie detector test? Girl, you don’t mess around! That has to be one of the most awesome things I’ve ever heard.

Post # 15
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Chiotilidieo: It is no one’s place to judge you. Especially since we don’t know you, or your boyfriend. I do hope that you both can work things out, and find peace with eachother. I second the earlier motion to go through couple’s counceling. It may help. Anyway, good luck to you both.

Post # 16
1 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Chiotilidieo:  how can you give someone a lie detector test. i am dealing with a liar too. how would i go about doing this?

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