Post # 1
Wow, The Bee’s here have the best support and love and care for complete strangers its amazing. If it wasnt for all of your words and advice I dont think I would have been here today. Luckily for me, He showed up to my house that night he had ignored my phone calls. He told me everything I wanted to know. He answered every single question I had. He told me he had lied to me and explain what he had lied about throughout our whole relationship. He couldnt express how sorry he was, all this time I didnt believe a damn word coming out of his mouth. He swore up and down he did NOT cheat on me . That he may had lied and gone behind my back in texting her but that they never hung out or met up or fooled around or anything other than text somewhere between 3-5 LONG text messages over the last year. He agreed to a polygraph test ( lie detector test ) and he was being honest, he did not cheat on me. He told me he would never lie to me again. I havent spoken to his ex since that night, shes crazy. She called me over 30 times back to back because I have been ignoring her, I dont even know the girl… never met her. She would text me everyday , harassing texts almost. Everything she told me about him cheating on me was from their relationship the year before me and him got together. I made him work to keep me though, I told him I was NO longer with him if he wanted me he had to prove it that he had fucked up royally. He has been trying extremely hard, calling , texting , coming over offering to help being nice with nicknames and just the whole package…. he asked me out onto a date.. How cute I know… we’ve got on 3 within a week… he then asked me to be his girlfriend again, I agreed solely because he is trying and he did not cheat, I know for fact from the lie detector test. I told him we were still not engaged, I couldnt move that fast and he didnt deserve to call me his fiance. Its a working progress… we started over pretty much, It will take me a long time to ever believe him again. Im the type of girl that holds grudges especially when I get hurt so badly.
I hope you ladies dont judge me badly as for taking him back, all of you have touched my heart, each and every single one of you who was brave enough and cared enough to comment and help me pick myself up and start over. Your words have kept me strong through this process and not so easily gave into his weakness and allowed him to win. I love each and every single one of you <3
Post # 3
I hope the two of you can salvage your relationship. You might want to consider couple’s counseling to work through any issues that are left over.
Post # 4
I’m glad you got what you needed from him. I hope it works out for you both!
Post # 5
@Chiotilidieo: I don’t judge you for taking him back. I hope he truly is the man of your dreams and the man you need him to be. Good luck!!
Post # 6
@Chiotilidieo: i dont think it would be fair for anyone on here to judge you. none of use will every truly understand what happened and your relationship. I hope that you guys can work through things. I really hope that you trust him. EIther way I think you should do counseling…GOOD LUCK 🙂
Post # 7
If you really want to make this work you are going to have to try and forgive him and not hold a grudge. Even if you want to hold it against him.
Otherwise, it will keep coming up in arguments and in the future and thats not good for anyone.
Believe me, I have been through it. It didnt work because I couldn’t fully forgive my ex for what he did and that was the demise of our relationship.
So, the only advice I have for you is try try and do your best to work towards truly forgiving him. Good luck and I hope everything works out for yall!
Post # 8
@HoneyBear: This has happened to me A LOT in the past with minute arguments, but this… this some how hit me different. I do ask a few questions or bring it up every now and then but its still raw and he understands that. I never pull out a ” well you lied and talked to another girl behind my back asshole I deserve this ” kind of thing like I have shamelessly on other events/topics. I think I am controlling myself very well and handling it very good for me, I have become stronger I have regained the strength I needed to put my foot down and I think he realized what he lost and had to regain. Thank you so much <3 If I ever get to a point where I feel like this is what I need/want to do, Ill PM you!
Post # 9
@Chiotilidieo: I’m glad that you two are working on things and taking it slow and rebuilding. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that, but you know what’s best for you.
I do agree with what the PPs have mentioned, working through this in some sort of counseling / pre-marital counseling (once you get to that point again) can really benefit your relationship and help you both put it to rest. Then you won’t harbor it someplace within and he will be able to not worry that you may still be holding it against him.
Best of luck, and good for you for being so smart and so strong!
Post # 10
Can’t believe I missed this update thread! I’m so glad things worked out for you 🙂 I wish you two all the best in building your relationship back up again.
(Out of curiousity though… where in the world did you get him to do a lie detector test?! That seems so random, I didn’t realize normal people could actually take them.)
Post # 11
@Gingersnap: They are actually quite popular now, usually ex military officers or other people with experience use them for stuff like this
OP- please consider the PP advice and get to couple’s councelling stat-there are still alot of issues that need to be handled here, and I honestly believe that if his heart is in the right place, he will wholeheartedly WANT to go and work on your relationship in that manner. I wish the best for the both of you.
Post # 12
@Gingersnap: I was wondering the same thing! I had no idea regular people could take lie detector tests, unless they went on Maury or something. OP, I hope everything works out for the best. Thanks for the update.
Post # 13
As long as he understands trust is no longer a given from you to him, that h has to earn it back, and he ‘fessed up to ANY kind of wrong doing and lies, then I think you guys ahve a good chance. The only probelms that occur is when lying continues, either from shame, denial or avoidance, when the person is thinking they are avoiding trouble by hiding more, intead of just getting it all out at once, proving thre is nothing else hidden. Relationships need to ahve things in the open as much a possible, especially about friendships and conversations with the opposite sex (or whatever sex you are attracted to). There was someethign I read about people needing to be vigilant about the relationsips, as its all too easy these days to “fall” for a frien or co worker, or ex online or in person, and unless you are aware of your actions and how they may be perceived, you can send all the wrong signals, or find yourself soemwhere you didn’t want to be, AND then compound it by lying.
Good luck – I hope things work out 🙂
Post # 14
@Chiotilidieo: Holy crap, you made him take a lie detector test? Girl, you don’t mess around! That has to be one of the most awesome things I’ve ever heard.
Post # 15
@Chiotilidieo: It is no one’s place to judge you. Especially since we don’t know you, or your boyfriend. I do hope that you both can work things out, and find peace with eachother. I second the earlier motion to go through couple’s counceling. It may help. Anyway, good luck to you both.
Post # 16
@Chiotilidieo: how can you give someone a lie detector test. i am dealing with a liar too. how would i go about doing this?