(Closed) My fiance cheated on me…

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
2191 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Oh honey! No amt of “I’m sorry’s” from us will make you feel better right now. But, we are all sorry that you are dealing with this. You didn’t do anything wrong, HE is the one that cheated and is showing no remorse for doing so.

Please try to breathe and keep telling yourself that you are perfect and you did NOTHING wrong.   ((((HUGS))))

Post # 32
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Chiotilidieo: Why wasnt I enough? What did I do wrong? What did i not do right? What did she have that I didnt? 

YOU DID NOTHING WRONG!  I can tell you right now, there is nothing that you did wrong, and there is nothing that she had that you don’t have.  Think about it.  He didn’t even tell her he was engaged.  HE WAS CHEATING ON HER TOO!  He disrespected her as much as he disrespected you.  He is just a scumbag who thinks he can do whatever he wants and get away with it, but then gets insanely jealous at the idea of the women he’s using doing the same thing he is!

You made the right choice, and don’t ever forget that.  He was not worth it to you, and I can promise you that you will look back on your relationship and see all the warning signs that you sadly overlooked before.  There will be pain now, and lots of it, but just always remember that this will be a learning experience.  And when you finally manage to get through this you will be all the stronger for it!

HUGS!

Post # 33
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
@posh_princess:

I was reading through some of OPs posts. I believe they live apart, which is really good in this case.

What a dufus

Post # 34
Member
9026 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

This is a very mean thing that he did, Honestly if he cant be man enough to admit it, you should just try and cut him off for a while and see him or deal with him, so you can clear your head

Post # 35
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m glad you left him. I know it’s going to be hard the next few weeks/months.  You’re strong and can get through this. Hugs!!

Post # 36
Member
5282 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

My heart aches for you!!

Do you have friends or family you can stay with?

I can’t belive the actions of some people – I know it hurts now & will hurt for a long time, but stay strong & come on here to scream & vent!! We’ll all be thinking of you!

Post # 37
Member
2216 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m soo sorry you’re going through this 🙁  How awful.  Every ounce of me wants to walk up to your ex-FI  and kick him in the balls.

Post # 38
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am soooo sorry you are going through this!!! I can’t begin to imagine the pain you are going through…. but you did nothing wrong!! This IS NOT your fault. As hard as it is to realize now, its better that you found out before you got married. You will find someone better who loves everything about you and would never hurt you!! Take time to heal and then get excited about your future because the man of your dreams is out there!!

Post # 39
Member
2870 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@Chiotilidieo: oh honey, I was hoping when I saw the title of this thread and that you created it, that it would be one of those catchy titles and inside it would say something about him cheating on you with an xbox or something.

I am so sad for you, I can tell that you are upset by this (and rightfully so).  I mirror so many others in saying that you are so much better off without him and in no way is this your fault!

I know it doesn’t seem like it now.  I know right now everything is just a mess.  Take the next few days, hours, heck minutes and breathe.  Slow down.  Take a moment to collect yourself, if you need to, get mad.

I want to echo what 

View original reply
@EleanorRigby: said.  I’m sure a lot of this hurt and some of the upcoming struggles are going to be be finding an identity outside of him.  I was also in this same situation with my ex husband.  When we split, I couldn’t even tell you what cereal I liked, but I knew what he liked.  I literally had a meltdown right there in the grocery aisle when I was on my own again.  I had no idea who I was… and what the heck I liked… my world revolved around him, and now that he was no longer I didnt know what to do! 

I am hear to tell you, that you don’t see it now, because it’s all so fresh.  But I promise you that you will rediscover yourself, you will learn to love yourself and learn that you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for at the moment.  You will find someone who loves you right and who would never let you down like this.

I promise, you will heal, you will be stronger, and you will find love again… and it will be better than you can even imagine.

xoxo-

Post # 40
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

@Chiotilidieo: 

Oh dear! HUGS 

I am sorry that you are in agony and despair.  You are NOT the cause of this issue. It was HIS CHOICE to cheat; and he paid for it by losing a wonderful woman like you.  You are empowered by gaining your life back.  Yes, it will take a while to heal the emotional wounds, but you are still the warrior who won the battle.  

Rest assured that you will meet a gentleman who is deserving of your love and vice vorsa. 

 

On behalf of all the bees here, I am officially giving him a virtual “BEE STING!”

Post # 41
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think there’s anything new to add.  I’m so very sorry that you’re going through this.  You will survive this.  You will be much better off in the end.  As much as it hurts now, it’s a blessing in disguise.  You will find someone who will fight for you but will never have to.  Hugs!

Post # 42
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

A friend gave this to me after I was cheated on (previous marriage). I kept it in my wallet for years. I hope it helps you. Remember, it’s nothing YOU did. It’s not that y ou weren’t good enough or anything. It’s him.

 

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

© 1971 Veronica A. Shoffstall

Post # 43
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Chiotilidieo: Honey it’s going to take time!! Just know he is a moron. He is the one who will look back and realize what a moron he was. Run away from talking to him and stay far away from any place he might be for the next 6 months to a year. Just keep your distance, he is a selfish person. He probably has some mental problems too. I would thank God you didn’t marry him!!! Don’t worry you will find someone and forget he ever existed. This happened to me I know what you are going through. Take care of yourself and respect yourself enough to stay away from him.

You will be better then new in a few months!!

Once again this happened to me!! And guess what my ex was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, gained naerly 70 lbs and is going bald now!! I THANK Jesus that I didn’t marry him. And now I am engaged to…his former best friend. I didn’t plan it this way. We met up 2 years later after my ex and I broke up.

 

Life is funny like that!

Post # 44
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Sweetheart this is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you and whole hell of a lot wrong with this man. Please don’t think it’s your fault. Some men hurt the women closest to them because they are weak and have a whole slue of emotional and mental issues. There is nothing in the world you could have ever done to prevent the problems he already has.

You are already showing your strength and intelligence by leaving this guy. It hurts right now and it’s only going to get worse before it gets better. Don’t loose faith. Although it seems like a horrible situation right now, you actually do have someone watching over you because you’ve been saved from a life of pain.

Keep yourself occupied. Only time will heal this. Stay strong and you go girl 🙂

Post # 45
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry you’re going through this!

Every cloud has a silver lining…at least you found out before you got married. I know that doesn’t make you feel any better right now…just take it one day at a time, it will get better!!

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