Post # 136

Member
2255 posts
Buzzing bee
com4rt: I have thought about you often and wondered how you were doing. Thanks for checking in, and you still continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!
Post # 137

Member
437 posts
Helper bee
i’m so so so sorry. Sending prayers and love xxx
Post # 138

Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
I’m so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers will with you.
Post # 139

Member
69 posts
Worker bee
My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to you and family
Post # 140

Member
1 posts
Wannabee
com4rt: one of my best friend’s fiance died in a very sudden way about 4 months before their wedding.where as I myself have never been in that situation, I did stand by her side during the last year. Truly, nothing we say will take away your pain ( I hope we could), but my Girlfriend tried to cope in some ways: go to therapy. You do not have to go through this all by yourself & having a place/ person to process these very complex feelings, your anger and grief is crucial & will help hugely with the healing process. Rely on your belief; even if not religious, a spiritual immersion, meditation, will help you to synch all of that crazy energy flow. Keep yourself busy and above all, TAKE YOUR TIME. Be sad and miserable and feel sorry for yourself when you feel like it’s necessary but also know when it’s time to get up, shake off the tears and move on, day by day, with your life. I wish you all the best and a lot of strength!
Post # 141

Member
18 posts
Newbee
My father passed away of cancer after being with my mother for almost 10 years and it devastated her (and I of course). All I can say is to take care of yourself, seek a quality therapist for yourself, fully greive, fully feel the pain, don’t try to block it out and don’t drink or do drugs.
My mom didn’t date for almost 10 years after my dad’s death. It really devasted her and changed her but she was strong and kept a sense of humor. 20 years after his death she still speaks of how much she loved my father, what a good man he was, etc. She doesn’t seem to cry for him anymore but she remembers him on his birthday and the anniversary of his death.
I have greived a lot in my short life and something that I learned is that when a person dies the love never goes away. The pain is almost unbearable at first but it gets better as years pass and in the end you’re left with the memories and the love I had for my relatives and the love I felt from them has never died.
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This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by
chewy88.
Post # 142

Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
My sincere condolences. I am so sorry… nothing I say will make anything better but I hope you will accept a HUG…
Please let us know how you are doing.
xo
Post # 143

Member
1 posts
Wannabee
I know this is late, but I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you have learned how to live again with your grief. I do h, however, have a question. A friend of mine lost her fiancée a month before their wedding day to cancer. When the day arrives, do we acknowledge it and do something special for her? To let her know that we haven’t forgotten and realize what that day should have been? Do we just pretend it’s just another day unless she brings it up herself?
Post # 144

Member
1564 posts
Bumble bee
Kerry Gardner Shankle : I was widowed at 30. My best advice is to ask her what she wants you to do. And, go from there. I learned what works for one person in the grieving process may or may not work for another.
Post # 145

Member
207 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: December 2017 - Baltimore. MD.
Kerry Gardner Shankle : Hey… It was a real learning process for me. I got to experience one of my greatest fears in life but I also got to learn about life as well. One thing I’ve learned is that everyone deals with grief differently. When the day of the wedding came, my family were all around me and that was what I wanted. I had friends come to visit me and I had friends who offered to take me out to take my mind off things. I respectfully declined some offers but I was happy they were there for me and had me in mind.Someone else might want to be left alone. It’s different for each person. My advice to you is to follow your gut and be there for her in any way you can.
Post # 146

Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee
Kerry Gardner Shankle : I also lost my husband to cancer (though not before our wedding). The anniversary of his death is still very hard on me, even 6 years later now. So I really appreciate when friends reach out and tell me they are thinking of me and ask if I need anything on that date. I would recommend that you do the same for your friend. She is not going to forget what the date is — and it will mean a lot to know that other people remember too. Just ask her if she would like some company, ask what might feel best for her, and take her lead. I think the worst thing you could do would be to say nothing and wait for her to come to you … people who are grieving rarely do that, and it can feel hurtful when people “ignore” you during a painful time. Even if they are well-intentioned friends who just don’t know what to say or do.
Post # 147

Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee
com4rt : I just wanted to say I’m sorry for your loss too. How awful. I know from experience that the pain never goes away, but I hope you’ve been able to rebuild your life in the past few years.
Post # 148

Member
207 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: December 2017 - Baltimore. MD.
anothernewbee16 : thank you so much! My life has been coming together pretty well ever since. I met my wonderful Fiance and he has brought me so much joy, happiness, and love. I am truly grateful.