(Closed) My fiance doesn't clean the house and leaves poop on floor. I am fed up!

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 271
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Just remember this. **hugs❤️❤️**

Post # 272
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

OP, I am SO proud of you! The fact that we’re all cheering you on should be enough proof that you’re making the right decision, although I’m sure those crisp, clean bedsheets and lemony-scented air help cement it. Please continue to lean on your sister as much as you need. This is going to be a difficult time for you but you will get through it and be happier in the future. When I went through my divorce I dreaded telling my family, especially my incredibly traditional Catholic mom, but I was pleasantly shocked by how well everyone supported me in my decision. Tell them when you’re ready, tell them however many or few details you feel like sharing, and they will probably surprise you as well with their support. Best of luck!

queenieheather:  Not necessarily true in the case of bronchitis. It can be caused by bacteria, which I imagine is rife in the home OP shared with her filthy ex-FI. Environmental irritants like dust (hello, filthy house), tobacco smoke (hello, shitty ex-FI spewing his smoke into their shared space), and air pollution can, at the very least, cause lung irritation and also raised OP’s risk for getting bronchitis.

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/brnchi/causes

My dog has chronic bronchitis and you can bet your ass that we vacuum and dust regularly to try to keep things as free of air pollutants as possible for the little guy’s sake! The fact that OP’s ex-FI didn’t bother to show her the same regard says so much about how little he truly cares for her.

Post # 274
Member
1273 posts
Bumble bee

YAYYYY! I didn’t comment before now, but I was following your post. I love this outcome and your sister was right to react the way she did. Some may say it was none of her business, but I think a lot more people would be better off if nobody put up with others’ bullshit. We need to take some GD ownership in our lives and happiness and not be content to lie around like wallflowers, waiting for our happy ending.

Post # 276
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

confusedandscared:  

I’m editing my post because I saw your update. I’m so happy that your sister rescued you.

Have you ever heard of “Learned Helplessness”? I would suggest reading up on that. 

I’m not sure why you’re entertaining a reconciliation with such a loser. You don’t seem to believe that you deserve better than him. Self esteem seems to be a problem in your case. 

I’m very happy that you’re taking steps to end the relationship but please don’t go back to this fool. He’s a lazy pig and he’s not the kind of man who would be a good husband or father. 

Post # 277
Member
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ok, I just saw your last 3 threads and now I see where you’re coming from. He’s got more problems than just being slovenly and it’s clear you’ve bee having serious doubts about your engagement for a while now. I’m so glad you took the first steps to get out of the relationship. I know it’s scary to leave something that you have had for years. There’s that little nagging voice that says no one might ever love you again, that maybe you’re making a mistake. Tell that voice to shut up because it’s nothing more than fear of the unknown. 

I do suggest changing your routine dramatically in order to help yourself adjust. When you’re not at work, you don’t want to be sitting around smothering your sorrows in ice cream (or whatever). Joining a gym and forcing yourself to go will make you feel so much better and of course it will help with a weight loss.  

Good work and good luck!

Post # 278
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

confusedandscared:  Good for you bee! And I’m glad you took the dogs as well. That environment is not only toxic and unhealthy (physically and emotionally) for you, but the animals as well. Good luck on your new start. I’m very happy your sister was so supportive and there to help you out! 🙂

Post # 279
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

confusedandscared:  I am so relieved you are considering other options, like leaving this situation. You sound like a very nice girl and this is so horrible to think about.

Post # 280
Member
4713 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

Keep STRONG and everything will work out the way it was supposed to. You and the pups deserve happiness and a routine that is positive and productive. When you are doubting yourself please remember how strong you are to have left that situation. You cant change people you can only change yourself.

Take care 🙂

Post # 281
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Thank god you left, im not that clean tbh, but i would NEVER live like that!

Stay strong and don’t go back.

Post # 282
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

So glad that you and your dogs got out of that situation. Good for you! 

Post # 283
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I pretty much agree with every poster. You can’t change someone, particularly when a habit like THAT is ingrained in their way of living. This will not change, no matter how badly you want it to.

You keep getting SICK because of this mess. Honestly, if someone were to report him, he may face some repercussions. I know your wedding is in a month but you need to have a serious talk with him. I’m talking “I can’t take this, I don’t think our relationship can work with your hygeine habits” kind of talk.

I’m sorry, Bee. This is a shitty situation to be in. No pun intended.

Post # 284
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

confusedandscared:  Just read your update. YOU GO GIRL!!! That is probably one of the strongest things you will ever have to do. I’m totally cheering for you over here!

Post # 285
Member
4859 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

 you can do sooooo much better. Dont live in squalor like that! 

 Imagine having children in that stye? ughhhh. So happy to hear you are out. Good thing you have a sister who loves you and took you away to lemon heaven!

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