(Closed) My fiance doesn't clean the house and leaves poop on floor. I am fed up!

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 286
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I say this in every topic when it comes to slobby boyfriends/husbands/whatevers. 

Do your own laundry. Leave his stinking on the floor for weeks. That’s his choice. 

Have “your dishes” and “his dishes.” He cannot use your dishes, only you can. Clean your dishes. Leave his whever the fuck he leaves them. 

Stop taking out the trash. 

Stop picking up poop. 

Stop cleaning out his ash trays.

Stop picking up his towels. 

Stop mopping, sweeping, etc. 

I think part of the reason is that you eventually will clean up everything after him, yes? He knows that. 

I know, it will get really gross, but you will be testing his limits. Either he will man up, see how gross everything his, start cleaning up, and have a conversation with you. OR it is time to move on.

Unless there is a big change, people don’t usually change. They are who they are. Think if this is really how you want to lvie for the rest of your life. Don’t count on it magically one day getting better. 

Post # 287
Member
489 posts
Helper bee

I did read this whole thread, and I am so glad to read that you found your strength and have taken steps towards being happier and healthier.

All the best, I hope things continue in the right direction 🙂

Post # 288
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Miami

confusedandscared:  It’s getting to you?? Like just *now* hitting you?? How did you not run and leave a you-shaped hole through the front door like two years ago?? I know this isn’t what you want to hear but you cannoy marry this man. Leaving clothes on the floor and coffee cups in the sink is a slob. Your fiance is a biohazard!

And I’m confused about the dogs… why do they poop in the house in the first place? They should be house-trained, period.

Post # 289
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

pinkshoes:  geez. do you talk to all strangers that way? i sure hope not.

Post # 290
Member
14948 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

conejo55:  Yeah, I was a little shocked by the post so it came out a bit abbrasive…. by the time I thought about it and wanted to remove the self respect part it was too late.  Guess that’s why people always warn about putting anythign on the interwebs… it’s forever!  But I stand my ground on the rest of it.  Did you have anything else actually pertaining to the thread to add though?  I dunno how your comment adds anything to topic at hand….

Post # 291
Member
2251 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Holy shit!  I got no words 

Post # 292
Member
2129 posts
Buzzing bee

confusedandscared:  I know it seems crazy but I’m really happy to read your update. Thank you for stepping up and looking after these dogs, when your (ex?) partner wouldn’t. 

I would say he has been manipulating/mentally abusing you. He treats you like his house maid, then leaves you gifts? He’s making YOU feel guilty for his screw ups. He doesn’t respect you, and obviously doesn’t respect your family either. You definitely are better off without this guy, and thank goodness it has all happened now, not in a couple of months when you would have been married! 

Post # 293
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

confusedandscared:  oh honey I feel for you. you are not lacking self respect or whatever the other bees may say. You are simply a girl who fell in love with a man, with all his flaws and also his good traits. youre only human and I hope that whatever path you choose, that you’ll be happy. Best of luck

Post # 294
Member
688 posts
Busy bee

I am really happy that with the help of your sis you found the strength to leave. I know it has to be really hard but stay strong and talk to your sis or read these comments if you ever have doubts. My mom was very bad about cleaning too (like hoarders) and it was a big contributor to my parents divorce. But even she would never leave feces or vomit or smoke. She actually hates being the way she is and in some ways tries not to be, but she is already set in those ways. You’ll never change that kind of person who has already grown up and been that way from such an extreme to normal. You’d maybe get some improvement at best IF he was motivated, and even that probably wouldn’t be enough to make you happy. You did the right thing, and you’ll be better off for sure. *Hugs*

Post # 295
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee

Bee I’m a messy person and I’m horrified with what you’ve just outlined!

this is beyond disgusting. I’d be leaving. This guy doesn’t sound ready for adulthood. 

Post # 296
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

confusedandscared:  um… did you know he was like this BEFORE you got engaged? Did you think he was going to change at all after you got engaged or after marriage?  

He doesn’t respect you.  He’s disgusting and he won’t change.  He’s tired after 4 hours of part-time work?  You need to RUN now because you will forever be the only adult in this relationship. 

Post # 297
Member
256 posts
Helper bee

Good move!

Post # 298
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

mwby2017:  i know this is an older post…but i just burst out laughing at your comment regarding pajamas hahahahaha 

confusedandscared:  good for you girl, LOVED reading your update. love it when a woman gets strong and does what she has to do. it’s certainly NOT easy… but you deserve better than what you had. 

Post # 299
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Old post but I just can’t help mysefl…

Wake up call – you need to leave this guy.  What on earth is he bringing to this relationship?  You say he loves you and respects you?  You say he doesn’t say it’s your job to clean?

Umm…WRONG.  If he respected you he would respect the way you want to live and put in some effort.  If he didn’t think it was your job to clean he’d get his ass off the couch and do some cleaning. 

And he doesn’t even work full time?  What the heck?  Don’t marry this fool you’re too good for him.

Post # 300
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

This is a deal break for me! If this is who I have to deal with for the rest of my life, I know I would get resentful and mad! I am in no ways a clean freak, but this is super gross. 

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