Post # 1
My fiance is a student and seems like he doesn’t have money saved for our honeymoon. My mom wants to pay for the honeymoon, but I’m afraid my fiance won’t agree for it because he has a huge ego. I tried to mention honeymoon few times in our conversations, but he just won’t talk about it. He takes it lightly, makes fun of it and changes the topic. My ideas of honeymoon aren’t very expensive, and I had given him ideas on what I want. It just seems like he’s trying to escape the entire topic.
Any suggestions on stress management in this situation?
Post # 2
Go with your parents. If he wants to sit out, he can. You can have an anniversary-moon later.
Post # 3
I’m concerned that you’re marrying someone with a huge ego whose finances you aren’t privy to. You also shouldn’t have to manipulate him into anything…
Post # 4
Manipulation is never ok in a relationship, especially a marriage. Why exactly does he not want a honeymoon? Not even a simple weekend getaway to a nearby town?
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
You’re assuming he isn’t open to your mom paying for the honeymoon. Communicate with him that this would be a gift and see how that conversation goes first. Its not unusual for parents to gift or contribute toward the wedding and/or honeymoon. He may be avoiding the subject only bc he knows he can’t afford it. Manipulating someone is never ok, nix that option. Would you appreciate anyone manipulating you in a relationship?
Post # 6
I am not a fan of the choices of your poll
1. It is never healthy to manipulate a partner
2. skipping it for a failure of communication is passive aggressive
3.traveling with your parents is not a honeymoon. If you want to vacation with them it is another thing but it would be very odd to leave your husband out.
You tried to talk to him, try again. The communication here is dreadful and not healthy for a marriage.
Post # 7
theatrejulia : ^ basically all of this.
Post # 8
I would talk to him about it. Maybe he’d be ok with a weekend getaway or a staycation, and then you can plan for a more elaborate honeymoon when you’re in a better financial situation. It’s not mandatory to go on a big trip right after getting married. I’m not sure why you’d rather travel with your parents than spend time with your new husband after getting married.
Post # 9
Yeah, don’t even consider “Manipulating” a partner. That’s a major red flag. You guys should be able to sit down and have serious conversations about things if you’re going to get married, make this practice. Debate about the honeymoon, make your points, listen to his points, and come up with a compromise. Also a honeymoon with your parents? Just noooo. It’s so weird. A honeymoon should be a trip you and your new husband takes together to start off a marriage, but it seems like you just want to take a trip anywhere after the marriage with or without your husband.
Post # 10
lesbeeinlove : haha anniversary-moon!!! I LOVE it!!
Post # 11
msbr : not sure… maybe he doesn’t want to spend money on it at all!
Post # 12
heavenlyflower : Tbh I don’t want to manipulate him, and I’m not able to do that either. I think I’ll wait for few more weeks and ask him if he’s still silent about it. And I’m totally into travelling with my parents if he doesn’t agree.
about the idea of gifts, he has hard time accepting anything from my parents. But let’s see.. I’ll try. And thanks 🙂
Post # 13
I don’t think you guys are having a serious conversation. You should say directly “let’s talk about our honeymoon. My mother would like to gift it to us. My ideas aren’t very expensive anyway, but I think it’s a lovely offer. Why don’t we sit down and talk about what we want to do?”
Right now it sounds like you’re both hinting/dancing around it instead of talking like adults (sorry).
Post # 14
floralcake : I’m not sure you’ve got the definition of a honeymoon.
Going away with your parents is not a honeymoon. A honeymoon is a period in which you and your new spouse can be together. Alone. It’s a time for you to connect after your marriage and relax after your wedding. It does not need to be a big event, which is why many people take smaller breaks or even a staycation. The important thing is not where you travel it’s who you spend time with.
Do not travel with your parents. That isn’t a honeymoon. That is you going away with your parents straight after your wedding, even if your husband won’t travel. I would have been less than impressed if my husband had done that to me.
You do not manipulate him. That’s not how a marriage works. You do not skip the honeymoon in some passive-aggressive gesture that you can throw back at him in a few years time. That’s not how a marriage works either.
What you need to do is talk to him. Suggest a few days at home or a mini break, be open to something other than travelling a huge distance. If he shuts you down again the do you really want to marry someone that you can’t have a conversation with? Ask him why he doesn’t want to, rather than just assuming. This is the person that all being well you’re going to spend the next 60 years – so you two need to be able to have a conversation and then potentially reach a compromise.