My fiancé doesn't want to come to my BMT graduation, I'm not sure what to think!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
1534 posts
Bumble bee

you are not over reacting. i could possibly get over not wanting to take time off if there was any type of reason even if not great one. but the comparison to a videogame is completely unacceptable. By comparing your graduation to a video game launching he is diminishing your achievement and thinks it’s nothing. This goes under the deal breaker category for me.Congrats on finishing basic training. Well done you!

Post # 3
11155 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
holly10 :  

I had to look up BMT—Basic Military Training.  That’s a big effin deal.  Your Fi is a jackass.  Calling it ‘stupid’ and comparing it to a new video game?  Just no.

He should be proud and thrilled for you.

And thank you for your service to our country.

Post # 4
2227 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Yes you have a right to be upset. He should be proud of you and what you’ve achieved. My husband couldn’t make it to my masters graduation because of work, he couldn’t get the time off. I was, probably unfairly, really pissed off at him for not being able to attend but my husband took it with good grace and realised I was very disappointed. He knew it was a big deal. It sucks not having your partner there when you’ve accomplished something this, even with a valid excuse. To have your partner flat out refuse must be heartbreaking.

Your partner’s complete dismissal of something so big for you is shocking. And comparing it to a video game is just beyond cruel. 

Post # 5
1294 posts
Bumble bee

This guy’s an asshole. Seriously. He sounds horribly selfish and rude. He ought to be PROUD of you and WANT to come to your graduation. Do you even want him there now after making such nasty comments?

Comparing your graduation to a fucking video game? sounds to me like he’s giving you good reason to reconsider this relationship.


Post # 6
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

This was shocking to me to read. His attitude and that comment were so out of line. I have to wonder- how is the relationship otherwise?  I have a hard time imagning that someone would say this in an otherwise healthy, loving relationship.  Is he upset about you choosing to join the National Guard?

Side note, thank you for your service <3

Post # 7
7808 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Boy, bye.

When someone shows you who they are believe them.

Equating your BMT to a video game launch is a total asshole move unless he’s the video game designer. Congratulations. You can do better.

Post # 8
767 posts
Busy bee

1. Congrats on your enlistment. My time in the military was one of the best decades of my life. Be proud of your accomplishment. 

2. Your Fiance is an asshole. He doesn’t deserve to be there anyway. He sounds like he’s one of those guys who would be jealous of your level of badass. I mean, come on. You enlisted in the military and he’s home playing videogames. You have the balls in that relationship. What is he going to do if you deploy? “Sorry babe can’t make it to your farewell ceremony..” 

Bye Felicia.

Post # 9
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Now, he’s been very supportive of the whole thing, me joining, drill weekends, me being gone for BMT/tech school.

In the face of what happened, I have to wonder what the above statement really means. Support means just that…support.  I’m pretty sure he was okay with all of it as long as it didn’t inconvenience him which I suspect, was as far as his “support” went. 

This is something that is important to you bee and he’s treating it as if it was an inconvenient non-issue.  You have to wonder how he would react if the shoe was on the other foot? 

He’s showing you who he is bee.  Its up to you to take notice…..and action.

Post # 10
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

View original reply
holly10 :  He’s being a dickhead. Sorry not sorry! But that remark about you taking time off to celebrate a new video game to come out? Wow, does he always belittle your achievements?

Post # 11
3261 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah… he couldn’t be my fiancé for long. 

Good luck with Basic bee, hopefully San Antonio isn’t too hot yet!

Post # 12
7442 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Comparing video games to your graduation is so disrespectful. What an asshole. I’d be done, personally.

Post # 13
1700 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I know it’s easy for us bees to tell you this is a dealbreaker and to leave him,  but seriously,  he is not acting like a supportive partner.  I mean,  I like video games,  but equating graduating from Basic to the release of a video game is so dismissive,  disrespectful,  and immature. It’s a big deal.

I suppose is better to find this out now.  And how would he react if you got called up?

It doesn’t sound like he’s really supportive and you need to decide if this relationship is good for you. 

You definitely aren’t overreacting! Thank you for your service.

Post # 14
15277 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow… what a douche.  How the fk can he even compare that to a video game?  I’m wondering what you mean by supportive too?  Supportive as in his ass can just do whatever you want while you pursue your dreams?  Supportive as in you go do what you want, and I can sit at home and play games?  That video game thing is such a slap in the face imo.  I’d be fuming.

Post # 15
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Um, he sounds awful. 

Tell him you realized you’re also graduating from this relationship and on to better/bigger things. But, seriously, leave him like yesterday.

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