My fiancé doesn't want to come to my BMT graduation, I'm not sure what to think!

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 76
Member
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Why haven’t you dumped him yet? Are you just going to gloss over this? Even if he shows up to graduation with champagne and diamonds, it won’t change the fact that he’s a total ass.

Post # 77
Member
253 posts
Helper bee

I’m sorry it is not just the issue about him coming to your grad at this point. It’s the whole package.  You know in your heart of hearts this kind of treatment is going to continue as long as you let it continue. This grad incident is one symptom of a much bigger problem.

Take a deep breath and step back, look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself the hard question. Is this the type of man you want to commit the rest of your life to? 

Post # 78
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Yeah, I am surprised you still want to be with someone like this OP. It was a very good point that a PP mentioned. If he can’t even be supportive of you during BASIC, do you really think he will be if you are deployed? Or stationed very far away from him where you don’t see each other for several months? Military life is not for the faint of heart & it really doesn’t sound like your Fiance is supportive at all. IF anything it sounds he like just wants to downplay your goals & that’s a really awful thing.

Post # 79
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee

He sounds jealous and insecure about your achievement. 

Congratulations on your graduation! Just tell him how much it means you tothen see how he reacts xo

Post # 80
Member
1300 posts
Bumble bee

he sounds wildly insecure, minimizing your accomplishments in a sad attempt to keep you from realizing what a badass you are. 

Post # 81
Member
5916 posts
Bee Keeper

tiffanybruiser :  “my guess is that your Fiance is one of those men that feels threatened by having a successful, badass partner. So he’s trying to demean your amazing accomplishment by comparing it to video games. Just pathetic, and so transparent.”

This is definitely my guess too. 

OP, you are setting the bar SO LOW in how you’re allowing him to treat you. Seriously, what kind of person DELIBERATELY  tries to diminish your accomplishments (that grossly demeaning new video game comparison), and make you feel badly about yourself (the also grossly awful batwing comment) and actually seems to MAKE A POINT of taking the wind out of your sails?!

Do you realize that demeaning you, belittling you, and making comments on your appearance are actually classified as emotionally abusive? I’m appalled at how he treats you. Please want better for yourself and leave this guy who makes himself feel big by trying to make you feel small- this is almost guaranteed to escalate if you stay with him/ marry him. You deserve so much better. 

Post # 83
Member
4103 posts
Honey bee

holly10 :  “I think it’s just easier said than done for me right now.”

Trust me: it’s easier to leave him now than after you’re married. Best of luck to you, bee. Congrats and thank you for your service!

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