(Closed) My fiance hates my dress?

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do I get a new dress?
    Yes, you probably should. : (34 votes)
    27 %
    Of course not, silly! : (91 votes)
    73 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    2788 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I completly agree with @missfireslayer:. You could wear anything, and he’s going to think you are the most beautiful creature he’s even seen. I wouldn’t get a new dress.

    Post # 18
    Member
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2020

    Do you have it in your budget to get a new dress? Were there any runners up in the back of your mind? If this was “the one” then stick to your guns, but if you think you would be happier and more relaxed in another dress, go for it!

    Post # 19
    Member
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I think it would be absolutely fine if you kept your dress.  You would look beautiful and he would totally love it.  Are you and the cousin similar body types? Keep in mind, the same dress can look very different on two different women, and guys aren’t always good at separating out whether it’s the clothes that don’t look good, or if they are good clothes but not right for the woman who is wearing them, you know?

    BUT… I think you aren’t going to be happy unless you get a new dress.  Since you’ve had these doubts for a while now and since you had such an emotional reaction to the situation even after you thought you were over it, I think you may not be able to love your old dress 100%. 

    I really don’t think that there’s only one dress out there that is THE dress for each bride.  I say, if you have the budget, go out and try on some other styles and see if you feel like “you” in anything else.  If you keep going back to the dress you have now, then great- that will help alleviate your fears!  But if not and you find something that you still think is you in a different style, then go ahead and change.   I would only buy a new dress if you find another one that you love even more, then you can say to him honestly, “no, this one really is me, I LOVE it.”  If you can’t, the stay with the one you have, because then that shows you that you made the right choice.

    Good luck, and let us know what you decide.  The good news is, if your date in your profile is right, you still have lots of time…

    Post # 20
    Member
    683 posts
    Busy bee

    Usually, I would recommend keeping it for practical purposes- but you have a very unique situatjion. I’d get a new dress simply because the old one has so much stress and second-guessing associated with it. I think you’d feel better in the end. I’m sorry- but hey- at least its just a dress. At least you don’t hate the ring. 😉

    Post # 21
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Sorry you are going through this. Whats worse is, I suspect that even if you LOVE LOVE the dress and decide to keep it, the seeds of doubt are already in your mind, and it will nag at you on your wedding day and possibly afterwards (looking at pics, “should I have changed my dress?”, etc).

    I hate to say this, but having a dress that both my fiance and I love was super important to me. I actually showed him a picture of my dress before I ordered it. Thankfully he loved it, but I wouldn’t have gotten it if he didn’t. On the flipside, he was also adimant that I approved of his grooms outfit.

    That said, I DO agree with previous posters that, to him, you will look 1000 times better in the same dress b/c he loves you and is attracted to you.

     

    Post # 22
    Member
    2194 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Aww, I think your dress is really beautiful!  How exactly did yours and hers differ?  If hers was a cheaper, poorly made version of yours, that could be THE reason why it didn’t look good.  Can you ask your Fiance what it was that he didn’t like about it?  If it was some specific element that he felt really strongly about, then maybe you should reconsider your dress.  But if he just gives you a general, “it didn’t look good”, then it may have just been the poor execution of the dress and/or the way your cousin looked in it, and you have nothing to worry about with your lovely dress!  I think it’s so pretty, so I’m really rooting for you to keep it.  

    Post # 23
    Member
    3563 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I agree with previous posters that there is a 99.9999% chance that when your Fiance sees you on the wedding day, he’ll have no idea that your dress is similar to the one he “doesn’t like”. He will just be so blown away by you and the fact that you guys are getting married that day. I definitely would not worry about the surprise issue–dresses look different on everyone, and since it will be the first time your Fiance sees you in any wedding dress, he’ll be surprised and impressed!

    I think a bigger question is, do you love your dress? And is it possible for you to get a new one, if you decide that’s what you want to do?

    Post # 24
    Member
    605 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Honestly, he probably won’t even realize that your dresses or the same, nor would he probably remember what her dress looked like.  He’s going to be so caught up in how beautiful you look!

    But I voted honestly, and if it were me in your position, I would buy a new dress.  Its a stinky situation, but for me, I think the piece of mind would be worth it.  But that is me, and knowing what a worrier I am…so its obviously a very personal decision.

    Post # 25
    Member
    446 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Hmmm. This one’s tough.  I could go either way.

    What about this….is it in your budget to buy another dress? If not, then stick to the original. You are going to look stunning no matter what, and I’m sure he’d think the same, even if you were wearing a white sack!

    However, if you can spare a few hundred $ more, you could have two dresses, one for the reception and one for the ceremony.  I think I’m going to do that, but only because I am going to dance the hula and if I did that in my dress, it would be dragging… Good luck!

    Post # 26
    Member
    233 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I can’t tell you how many times my Fiance has hated something on the hanger that I tried on anyway, and loved it on me! Guys are clueless, and he probably just didn’t like it on her. If you are confident in your decision, you will look fantastic.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1067 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Honestly if I were in your same situation knowing myself I would get a new dress. Sorry, that’s just me and what I would do.

     

    Post # 28
    Member
    140 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    You must have thought that you looked and felt absolutely amazing in your dress, enough to make you pick that as your dress, so try it on again and if you still think and feel beautiful then you should keep it. He’s going to think you beautiful no matter what and if he sees you in a dress that you absolutely love your going to seem even more beautiful. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    Oh no! Don’t be upset. Unless they’re on the up & up re: fashion – guys know ziltch about gowns. I’m with the other girls who say don’t sweat it. Unfortunately he probably won’t even realize what you’re wearing. To be honest – I don’t remember half of my girlfriends dresses. 

    If your gown is better quality than hers was it will look completely different on you. Did you ask him what it was about the dress he didn’t like? Maybe it was the fit, or something about it – maybe her accessories didn’t work well, maybe the dress wasn’t fitting to her personality?

    Mostly, I’d say listen to your Future Mother-In-Law – she’s probably the best source (other than you) when it comes to your Fiance. It sounds like she thinks you should stick with your dress (which is really pretty BTW). 

    Post # 30
    Member
    235 posts
    Helper bee

    I”m really sorry, but I agree with greenleafmountain that even though I’m sure you look beautiful in your dress and your Fiance will probably think so too, I don’t think you are going to be happy.  I think you will have nagging uncertainty in your head and will be constantly wondering “Does he really like it or is he just saying so to be nice?”  I think you should sell the dress and buy another.  With all the gorgeous gowns available, there is NOT just one dress that is perfect for you.  Your other option is to try on the dress for your Fiance since he already knows what it looks like and judge his reaction.  I know you wanted to surprise him, but at this point that’s already out the window anyway.  Good luck, and let us know what you decide to do.

    Post # 31
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’d say the best predictor is did you like her dress?  If you thought she didn’t look good in it – no worries she just happened to be wearing a dress similar to yours but your Fiance was reacting to her not looking good not the dress particularly.  However if you thought she looked great and the dress looked great – you and Fiance have different taste and if it’s important to you that he like the dress I’d get a different one.

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