(Closed) My Fiance is Jobless and ou wedding is in a year and a half

posted 10 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

My Fiance is still in school with no end in sight. After we got engaged we sat down and had a heart to heart, because I wanted him to know that I wasn’t going anywhere and if he needed to wait longer to be ready to start taking on grown up responsibility like paying for a wedding I understood. He told me he had been thinking about that too, getting married while still a student but he said he didn’t want to wait to be my husband and that I was worth the sacrifice of some parties and college life. It sounds like you are both in different places emotionally, and talking through them is best.

Post # 4
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My degree is in marketing as well and honestly no one can get a job. I’m going to go to grad school to get my masters in education and teach elementary school. Don’t put to much pressure on him job wise and maybe discuss other options or career choices.

Post # 5
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My FH and I went through a similar rough spot, but it was me on the jobless end.  It really helped me when he would support my searching without nagging… which is a really fine line.  We spent a lot of time focusing on the little things that keep us happy and trying not to worry about the money. Just love him, the rest will follow.

Post # 6
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

When you talk about a house, do you mean renting a house together or buying one?  If it’s the latter, is there a way you can rent somewhere until finances get better/he gets a job?  I know that’s not always a viable option in some areas, but it may help with some pressure.

Best of luck with everything, it will all work out in the end.

Post # 7
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ours is a reverse situation, he has a stable job… I was laid off a month before we got engaged and now we are moving across the country. I’m very nervous about not finding a job..

But what I know more than anything is that we will always make it through… There is more than one way to support one another and for us, our love and commitment will get us through. I have pinched pennies A LOT (ohhhh I miss the mall….) and budgeted. Take it day by day, outline your goals. Just because you are getting married doesn’t mean you need to buy a home.

Post # 8
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

My Fiance is currently a PhD student on fellowship– I lost my job 3 months ago, so that’s all the money we have.  For right now we’re just renting– buying a house is something we plan to do down the road, but not until we are more stable financially.  Renting isn’t that bad, and I think you should probably consider that until you two are able to buy a house.  I don’t know where you are in Ohio, but a one bedroom apartment in Western PA (I live in Pittsburgh) is not that expensive- we’re paying less than $700 a month, including rent and gas.  Definitely the most important thing is to be married, house or no, right?  Lots of couples are poor when they first start out.  My FI’s parents made less together than he makes alone when they were first married- now they are pulling in over $200K a year.  You can work towards finding careers together, as a couple 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’m sorry to hear about the lack of job for your Fiance, but as far as the house goes, is there a reason why you feel you have to buy right now? Plenty of couples don’t buy right away. After you both have great, solid employment for a couple of years, then you should think about buying. Don’t add stress to an already stressful situation by thinking you HAVE to own a house or condo right away.

 

Good Luck to you both. 

Post # 10
Member
1356 posts
Bumble bee

I can only offer my sympathy and tell you I’m there with you! My fiance was in marketing/journalism and can’t find a job. I lost my job too and things have been really tough. I have a job offer I REALLY want to take, but I don’t know if I can because it won’t be enough money to support both of us – and we have no idea when my fiance will find a job. These are tough things to deal with! WHenever people ask us how we’re getting through, I just tell them we are getting the "for poorer" part of the way before we even get to the altar!

Post # 11
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I also agree, that maybe worrying about buying a house in the near future, may be causing an unnecessary strain on the relationship.  Most couples do not have the money right away to buy a house.  In addition, I do think that there is a fine line between helping him look, and nagging him.  Chances are, there are not many jobs in Marketing right now, and that is why he cannot find a job.  Would he be open to looking for jobs in other areas of expertise?  

My Fiance is graduating this June, wanting to go into Social Work. Unfortunately, in our area, our Social Services Program is cutting jobs, not creating them.  So for the short term he is applying to State Farm to be an Insurance agent, until he can get into the field he ultimately wants.   

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