My fiancé lied about another girl, am I overreacting?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Am I overreacting if I break this off?
    Yes : (2 votes)
    1 %
    No : (198 votes)
    99 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    7389 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Save your money and skip counselling. Hes a dirt bag. Even if he hasn’t cheated YET he will. Please don’t let yourself get caught in that situation. 

    Post # 47
    Member
    2313 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

    View original reply
    Undecided345 : You aren’t a putz; you are learning.

    It took me until I was almost 40 to meet the right person. Not because I was a putz, or that good people didn’t come into my orbit, but because I didn’t believe I deserved better. I didn’t demand that people treat me with respect by refusing to tolerate less. Once I did those things, I found someone who respected me and has treated me better than anyone ever has before.

    The common denominator is you. Think about what you would want for your best and dearest friend. Think about the kind of treatment you think they deserve. Then, insist on that for you. 

     

    Post # 48
    Member
    689 posts
    Busy bee

    If you guys have been together a substantial amount of time then I’d say maybe this relationship is worth fighting for. However, 18 months is nothing and it’s clear that being engaged after 9 months is too soon. You do not know this person, only now are you beginning to see who he truly is. We all have love goggles on the first 1-2 years, it’s only after it’s been a couple years do you really see who this person is. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    913 posts
    Busy bee

    Yea… as others have said. Don’t waste your time on counseling. When someone shows you who they are BELEIVE THEM! 18 months isn’t that long. Be happy you are finding out about this behavior now and not after the wedding or kids. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    60 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2020

    View original reply
    Undecided345 :  So sorry you are going through this. I am 32 and am in the same dilemna and posted about it today! Feel free to message me. 

    Post # 51
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee

    He may not have cheated…yet BUT the intent to do so is there. Break this off. 

    Post # 52
    Member
    1194 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    Counseling? For what?

    He’s not your depressed husband. He’s your cheating not- husband. Leave!
    Do you think he’d be talking about counseling if he thought you were rolling around with Jason Momoa? Nope. Nuh uh. Not even for a minute.

    Post # 53
    Member
    470 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    @Undecided345: Listen OP I’m going to give you the hard truth; You are his safety net!!! A man who truly loves and respects his spouse DOES NOT “hang out” with other females and especially does not lie to their spouse about it. Do you REALLY want to marry a man who did this to you? Would you want your future daughter settling down with a man like this? You should not be hesitating to say no to either one of those questions. He lied! plain and simple, he lied! He also CHEATED! He may be apologizing now (only because he got caught and realized he’s losing his safety net) and you may forgive him and go on to marry him but trust me when I tell you that he is always going to have that desire to see other women behind you r back. And you know why he will always do that? Because he is NOT for you and you are NOT for him. PLEASE save any more heartache and kick this creep to the curb.

    …that is all.

    Post # 54
    Member
    2109 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    There are so many wonderful men out there – why would you want to tie yourself to one who pulls this kind of shit? Dump his shady ass and find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

    Post # 55
    Member
    366 posts
    Helper bee

    My ex was doing similar ‘flirting’ and swore up and down he wasn’t cheating until I caught him red-handed. He had all these really valid and rational reasons to “prove” he wasnt cheating and there was no way he could or would, but he was. And then I started over at 42 years old for the 4<sup>th</sup> time.

    It was the best thing that ever happened to me because I am now with my exact perfect match who treats me like I always wished I would be treated. I am the happiest I have ever been, even though Im in my 40s. I took a year to heal and realize how amazing I was and then I found the love I always dreamed of.

    Post # 56
    Member
    2328 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    He can’t even keep his dick in his pants for 18 months? 

    Imagine him in 18 years…

    Cut your losses now 

    Post # 57
    Member
    1308 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    whether there was actual physical or emotional involvment here, his intentions were to scope out other options behind your back. NOPE.

    Post # 59
    Member
    3970 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

    View original reply
    Undecided345 :  sure its possible. But if they were JUST friends, why would he lie? Would YOU lie to HIM about a male friend? Dont be naive bee.

    Post # 60
    Member
    10215 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    View original reply
    Undecided345 :  Sweetheart, you have 123 bees that are in perfect agreement. Every single poster has said the same thing. That like NEVER happens.

    I’m sure they’re just friends. The kind of friends that hump each other in the backseats of cars.

     

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