(Closed) My fiancé may be REQUIRED to go to a strip club for work.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Pay bills + food on table > no money, feeling jealous.

Post # 4
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah…you’re really going to have to get over it. I can’t say that any nicer.

Post # 5
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

he may be required to go there to sell – but he would be speaking to the manager, not strippers, and would probably be doing sales calls and drop offs in the mornings, when the club is getting ready to open.Even if there are dancers on, wouldn’t he be in the office area? Yes, it’s a strip club, but it’s also a business with an office, accounts manager and some level of professionalism.

if your SO is telling you that he needs to socialize with strippers (who are literally at that moment stripping) in order to sell alcohol, that’s ridiculous. He’s in charge of selling bulk to the business, unless the purchasing manager is also a stripper he’s wrong.

Post # 6
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

If he’s selling them alcohol it will be during the afternoon. Truthfully he’ll get there, meet the manager or bar manager, and then go sit in office or back room away from the strippers.

But I think you need to be honest with yourself and admit that this is a trust and insecurity issue. 

 

Post # 7
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with PP. This is 100% a YOU issue, not an Fiance issue. Your feelings are irrational and you need work on getting over them. He’s just going to be there for work and he needs to pay the bills.

Post # 10
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@jbeath1:  tell him that it’s a job, and that you expect him to behave professionally like he would at any other job. ie – you’re on company time, and they want you to sell liquor, not make friends with strippers. it will also be one of his many clients – he probably won’t be spending that much time there.

tell him that you think it’s fair that he limits his contact with strip club employees to management only. maybe he’ll have some discretion over his scheduling and can schedule his drop offs /meetings before the club officially opens.

and then tell him that you’re feeling uncomfortable but trying to be supportive. don’t whine – just state that fact. tell him that you’re excited about this new opportunity for him but that he needs to be mindful that it’s a bit uncomfortable for you that he’s working with the strip club.

as for the text, he was probably trying to sound cool to his friend.

 

Post # 11
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee

…I don’t know what to say. Bills being payed would trump any jealousy I had. 

Maybe ask him why he said excited? Perhaps your definition of “cheating” isn’t the same as his anymore. Maybe it’s time for another conversation about it. 

Post # 12
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@jbeath1:  he was talking to another guy… of course he’s going to be ‘excited’ to go. That’s just how guys are, they act all macho. He was probably playing up his excitement. And I echo what pp’s said in, he’s meeting the manager.. not the girls, and “Pay bills + food on table > no money, feeling jealous.”

Post # 13
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

He’s probably excited about making more than $20k.  I worked as a bartender and almost never saw our beer distributor.  I wouldn’t worry about it. 

Post # 14
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

He’s probably excited to be getting this new job with better pay and the responsibility to manage different clients. I’d be excited too! But if you’re not sure, ask him. 

Post # 16
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

OP, Not to be harsh, but you need to put your big girl pants on and deal with it.  He is going there for the job.  When he talks to the guys he has to put on the big boy act.  It’s more money, which means a better life for you and Fiance.

Don’t make it something it isn’t.

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