Post # 1
Wow. I’ve been knocked down this month quite a bit.
This month has been brutal. My grandmother passed away, my friends got hit by a car right in front of me (I managed to run out of the way just in time), my fiance’s dad had a fall and had to go to the hospital, and now we find out that my fiance will need to start radiation therapy for cancer within the next two weeks.
We’ve known that Fiance has had bone marrow cancer for about 2.5 years. It was definied as asymptomatic, which means it was present but was not doing anything, so it just needed to be monitored. It’s been stressful for the last couple of years, but we had comfort in knowing that we could live life as normally as we could. We found out yesterday that it’s not the case anymore, and he needs to start radiation theraphy on his jawbone.
We got engaged in July, with hopes of getting married in spring/summer 2012. Later in July his doctor suspected that he would need treatment within 6 months to a year, but at that time, no treatment was needed. We moved the wedding date up to January 2012 in hopes of getting married before things got crazy. (If I hear one more time about someone complaining as to why we have a January wedding in Canada it makes me want to strangle someone).
The invites have gone out, people have RSVP’d and the out of town guests have started to make travel arrangements. I have no idea what to do about the wedding. If this first line of treatment works, my Fiance may be able to work (he has a job that is starting in December, but is not working right now) through the treatments and things could carry on as normal. If it doesn’t work it could mean more aggressive treatments like chemothearaphy or stem cell transplant in which he certainly wouldn’t be able to work, much less attend his own wedding.
Sigh, life needs to stop being so intense sometimes. Looking for anyone out there who has dealt with this prior to getting married and how it affected their wedding plans. Thanks.
Post # 3
I don’t have any advice, but i am sorry that this is happening to you and I sincerely wish that the treatment works and he gets better!
Post # 4
I’m so sorry for the situation you are in and everything that has happend to you! My thoughts are with you 🙂
Post # 5
Wow. You do have a lot on your plate right now. I wish you the best!
Post # 6
I know you were asking for advice from others who have been through this, and I’m sorry I don’t…
but I couldn’t go without telling you how sorry I am. I will keep you in my prayers and I truly hope your Fiance is able to recover without the more aggressive treatments.
sending hugs and love your way.
Post # 7
I don’t have any experience with this, but I just wanted to tell you that I will pray for you and your Fiance. I can’t even imagine how tough this must be for both of you.
Post # 8
I also don’t have any experience but I’m so sorry you have to go through this and will be praying for you and your Fiance. <3
Post # 9
I just wanted to say I am sending good thoughts your way. I am hoping for the best for you and your Fiance. Try not to worry about the guests who have already started making plans, they will understand if things change. I truely hope the treatments work.
Post # 10
for the monetary part, it was suggested to us to get wedding insurance.. I haven’t really looked into this much because my fiance’s OH surgery got pushed up a lot sooner than we had expected and he should be recovered by then but it might be something worth looking into for you guys. maybe someone else out there knows more than I do?
as far as maybe having to cancel or postpone the wedding and dealing with people in that respect.. your priority is being there for your Fiance and making sure he has all the support that he needs to get through this difficult time and get on his way to being healthy.. if that means “disappointing” people, so be it.. most of the people around you will understand and will want to do anything in their power to help you guys through this.
oh and btw, if people want to help you.. accept their help! its so easy to get caught up and think that you need to be the strong one and do everything, take care of everything and be everything to everyone but you can’t and you’ll be well on your way to a nervous breakdown if you try.
keeping my fingers crossed for you that everything goes well.
Post # 11
I will send up a prayer for you. The good news is, they are only suggesting radiation. That means the cancer is not too aggressive yet.
My grandfather had radiation therapy for prostate cancer a couple years back and he did very well.
My grandmother is currently undergoing chemo for bone cancer. She was doing really bad for a while there and is beginning go gain weight and improve. She was down to like 72 lbs at one point and is now at 92. I am hoping she can be at our wedding.
My mother is a breast cancer survivor for 1 year this year and got diagnosed with a lymphoma recently.
Dealing with all of these things and trying to plan a wedding is SO difficult. We set our date further away so that everyone could have extra time to get better and I could graduate. I honestly just take life day by day. It’s all you can do.
Post # 12
Praying for strength and health for both you and your FH!!! I am so sorry you are going through this right now, but what better time to make a life-long vow to each other than when you both need each other so much. Best wishes and keep us posted on how he’s doing!
Post # 13
I don’t have any useful advice, but I am so sorry you’re going through this. Sending good thoughts and hopes your way.
Post # 14
I am so sorry! Hoping for the best outcome and sending good thoughts your way.
Post # 15
I am really sorry you and your Fiance are going through this. I worked in Oncology and gave chemo for 4 years so really if there are any questions you have at any point please don’t hesitate to ask, or if you just need to talk:) Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.
Post # 16
You are such a strong woman for trying to get through all this while still maintaining a level of sanity! My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your Fiance.