My fiancé said he wants to postpone our engagement…

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

Anjelica :  🙁 I wonder if he’s been talking to his brother about this, then, if he’s feeling like he’s not emotionally on the same page with you like last year. Fight for him, I guess. Seems like your heart is set on that, but just know there may be nothing you can do.

Post # 20
Member
96 posts
Worker bee

I’m sorry hun, but it sounds like a break up to me. He is probably not over the breakup last year. Getting back after 1 month, you two wouldn’t have had much time to resolve whatever issues you had.

The Facebook Cover photo doesn’t mean much. It could mean he has more important things in his mind than to go on FB. He could very well be trying to get over this breakup and guilt.

I agree with withluv. Text him and find out where you stand. Don’t leave your life on hold. I know you love him, but he doesn’t love you. I’ve been through this when my ex broke up with me. I was in denial for a while. Now I am in a much happier and healthier relationship. I’m glad he broke up with me.

Post # 21
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Anjelica :  Okay, so here’s what you do when you don’t know what to think anymore: Take the action that is undeniably best for you. 

Choosing to be ignored by the man who’s supposed to have your back and care for your feelings is not undeniably best for you.

Choosing to plan your future based on an indecisive man who called off an engagement is not undeniably best for you.

Investing energy and passion towards fighting for him while he doesn’t reciprocate is not undeniably best for you.

 

 To continue what your doing would be a massive disservice to your mental health. We can break down the financial parting of ways bit by bit. Are you employed or have you begun the process of finding a job? 

Post # 22
Member
2328 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I’m sorry, he is breaking up with you. That’s all there is to it

Let’s look at the facts

– He won’t reply to you

– He said he has lost the connection with you 

– His family won’t reply to you

– He told you he has been unhappy for some time

– His brother gave you a hint that things aren’t well

– You recently broke up

– He had deliberately chosen a time he is away from you to make this break

Post # 23
Member
96 posts
Worker bee

Anjelica :  him doing nice things for you may be just to get rid of his guilt for breaking up with you. SIL not replying is a little sus, seems like she is ignoring you…instructed by your FI?

Only time will tell what his intentions are. 

Post # 25
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

Anjelica :  Er, wow. Fucking rude. I think they have to be talking to him about you. Sigh. I’m sorry. I would take an assertive tone. But that’s how I do. Lol

I’m the Queen of Ultimatum! I’d send this out, “If you don’t love me, feel nothing for me, then I’ll go. But we’re a partnership, you need to talk to me if there’s something you don’t like in our relationship. I love you and don’t want you to feel pressured by anything. I want to help.”

Post # 26
Member
3262 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I am sorry to say this but he is breaking up with you. He is just doing it in a manner to string you along. Some people can’t do a clean break. 

You deserve someone who doesn’t question his feelings for you. 

Post # 27
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Anjelica :  That’s excellent news! 😀 You’ve started the path of self-sufficiency and YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DEPEND ON HIS GENEROSITY. You do not have to rely on him to meet your financial needs because your own hard work can and will suffice. AND you get to let go of the financial pressure to pay for a ring your journey isn’t ready for. I think that news calls for a glass of wine. 😌

 

Furthermore, a ring is just an object. It’s the fruitfulness of the bond that makes it so special. The fruitfulness seems to be dying. I am sorry to say it, but this situation is becoming a hinderance or so it seems. First paycheck, always deposit into your savings account and pay your bills so that you are being proactive, avoiding the stress of scraping together the funds throughout the month, and you have play money left. If you have 💰 left over, buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, pick the peddles and toss them into a hot, tingly mint bubble path, get out and lather yourself with soothing body oil, step into a fluffy robe. Cherish yourself; you don’t need an (incompetent) fiancé to do it for you. Revel in that. 

Post # 29
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Anjelica :  It’s likely that your constant texting and calling is pushing him away even further. Some people become more obstinant the more you push and pry. 

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