My fiancé said he wants to postpone our engagement…

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 47
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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Anjelica :  I’m going to be firm but I mean it with the best intentions.

Begging is not becoming. You are begging. You are pleading. You are choosing to act like a stray cat who would expend every ounce of energy just for a tiny drop of milk. Do you genuinely think that is attractive or beneficial to the future Anjelica? (don’t answer out loud). 

 

Stop embarking on this maze of confusion, hurt, distress, and frustration by overanalyzing and hyper-assessing words he has made clear. Choose better for yourself. If you’re going to act like a cat, have the dignity, poise, and pride of a lion. Everything you want to say to him, organize it in a text and send it to your most trusted friend but DO NOT REACH OUT ANYMORE. It must stop. 

Post # 48
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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Anjelica :  Okay, but as an individual, this man has chosen to part ways and you absolutely must respect that. It is crucial for your journey and your internal existence. Everything happens for a reason. For all you know, he only has five years left on Earth and the universe is doing you a favor/blocking you from impending heartache but you just can’t see it right now.  

Post # 49
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

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Anjelica :  P.S. no one knows how to be themselves after thinking about someone else every day for years. Have you eaten yet? How’d work go? I’ll be home soon. When do we have to go to that thing? But like most other things, we all find ourselves again.

And you won’t be completely alone. Friends and family feel really good after a hard breakup. I only saw my friend again after she broke up with her boyfriend! Lol although, they’re back together, so I haven’t seen her on a Saturday night out in months . . . -_-

Post # 51
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee

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Anjelica :  No offense but HE can’t see himself with you forever. People only take breaks as a segue into breaking of the relationship gently.  

Post # 53
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

It’s over, he basically said so when he told you that he didn’t want to lead you on anymore. If he truly loved you as much as you proclaim then he wouldn’t have been ignoring you since last night. The fact that your sister-in-law also ignored speaks volumes as well,  they’ve probably all been discussing your actions. 

It seems as if he never wanted a wedding after you had your break up last year but you seem to be a bit controlling when it comes to your relationship… You purchased your own ring that you couldn’t even afford after being unemployed? The brother-in-law making comments about you being a freeloader was indeed harsh and rude, but I can kind of see how he would think you were taking advantage of his brother. You moved out of your parents place into his with no income to contribute, you’re on his phone plan, his car insurance and the only thing you find important is payments on a ring? Then you whine and text him nonstop when he tells you that he needs space? That doesn’t look good on your part at all.

Give him space. Figure out a way to find some indendence, never put yourself in a situation where you’d be left panicked, broke and/or homeless if your boyfriend breaks up with you. 

Post # 54
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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Anjelica :  Should you continue this way…

What a waste of tenacity! Just imagine what you could do with all of that perseverance and staying power. The possibilities are wild! Leadership, entrepreneurship, prestine goal accomplisher…what an excellent gift you are misusing…

And the loyalty tho. The sheer will to stand by someone’s side and devote your being to theirs. All the many people and places these gifts of yours could be utilized and you’re wasting them in a room by yourself on a coward who’s got smaller balls than you. 

Post # 55
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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Anjelica :  Love, he told you what’s going on. He more or less told you what is going on in his heart; you refuse to accept it. You refuse to take it at face value. You refuse to acknowledge and accept the facts for what they are. It is utterly useless to spend so much energy and focus hoping and praying that things work out with this situation. You’ve got more love to give and it’s okay to not end up giving it to this situation 

 

You’ve got to leave the mindset of a man and especially this man being the key to make things work out in your journey. 

Post # 56
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Your fiancé can’t postpone your engagement. You can’t postpone something that has already happened. He can only brake off your engagement and it sounds like that’s what he’s done. 

Post # 60
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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Anjelica :  He told you it was over in the best (most cowardly, half-assed, tacky) way he knew how. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can get back to a life where your happy ending isn’t based on the inconsistency of a man. 

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