My fiancé said he wants to postpone our engagement…

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 77
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

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Anjelica :  Yes, ma’am, well done! You’re so young! I know this is fucking hard for you, but he’s clearly got some issues. At 29 . . . Pfft. Good luck to him. There’s always a reason, if not more than one, why someone can’t make a relationship work the older they get. You’ll meet someone who completely appreciates you!

You were willing to work with him, you put it out there in his court to be a damn adult and give it to you straight, you didn’t run away. I’m proud of you. 😌

Post # 78
Member
1745 posts
Bumble bee

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Anjelica :  I know it’s not what you wanted to hear.  But now you know and won’t be stuck in limbo.  YOu can take time to heal and move forward finding someone who will treat you better. 

Post # 80
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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Anjelica :  It’s going to take some discipline but the two jobs should be enough to cover your bills!? 

Post # 81
Member
290 posts
Helper bee

I’m so sorry that you went through this. At least you found out now rather than after years of marriage. You are still so young and there are plenty of men out there. In a few years, I bet you’ll be back on WB planning your wedding with a man who deserves you. 

Post # 84
Member
4623 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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Anjelica :  I’m sorry that you are having to go through this but you are well rid of him. He’s 29 and way old enough to know you don’t break up with/treat someone in the way he chose to.

Your a fair bit younger than him as in that you are both in different stages in your life. You’re still at that age where you are trying to establish a career whilst he should be a few years in. I really don’t think it was fair of his brother to say those things to you regarding mooching etc. When you are in a serious relationship with the goal of long-term you don’t tit for tat. You help each other where you can without recalling and tallying your help because you are in it together. 

Sorry bee. I know you are hurting but on hard days I always remember what my grandmother used to say. The hard days are all part of our personal journey. You can either get stuck and play them like a loop or you can accept it as life and gain something positive from the experience. 

Be kind to yourself and take the time to do things that help you feel better xx

 

Post # 85
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

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Anjelica :  It’s nothing you did. It was her son who decided to end the relationship in such a pathetic way: over the phone and after engagement. Wtf, she’ll be the one who should feel appalled. 

As for bills, I hear ya, girl. Don’t worry too hard about the bills, especially since hopefully your parents will be able to help. Just take it a day at a time and treat yourself to all the things you were before him.

I remember I went back to Dr. Martens and my punky days after I broke up with my boyfriend. I dated whomever I wanted for the first time, made a bullet list of everything I disliked in a person on okcupid lol, and absolutely knew it was his loss that he did that to me.

We both had to grow and change. You will, too, and become all the stronger and more decisive about what you want in life.

Post # 87
Member
3250 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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Anjelica :  he probably saw you did it & followed your lead. I recommend blocking him on social media. What you do is no longer his business.

Post # 88
Member
926 posts
Busy bee

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Anjelica :  big hugs. It probably hurts but I agree with cameobride that you should have a clean cut with him. Block and delete him on FB and other forms of social media. I’d go to the extent of deleting his family members from your social media too. It’s his loss. Live your life to the fullest. Find a full time job and rely on yourself!! Go go go 🐝!

Post # 89
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

When you go to get your things, just put yourself on auto-pilot. You are going to go, get the stuff, and not think while doing it. Then when that is over, return to being yourself. 

Post # 90
Member
4243 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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Anjelica :  I can’t say I’m surprised at his response.  He literally disappeared on you and wasn’t straight with you.  I read all of your responses and from page one here I could tell that it was over. I’m sorry, but it’s for the best.  It really is.  Your break up sounds a lot like my first big break up.  I felt so desperate and like “I can’t let him leave; I can’t lose him!”  As someone who is nomally really independent, I felt totally lost and not like myself.  It was awful.  I’ve never felt as much pain as I felt through that breakup.

You have your answer, and you now know his true colors.  It sounds like he broke up with you via text, do you realize how little effort it takes to text someone?  Obviously he was too cowardly to break up in person or to even break up over the phone.

It feels awful right now, and you will be sad for quite a while.  But let this breakup help you to grow stronger and more independent.  Let it help you move forward.  The majority of us have been where you are, and it will be ok, I promise.

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