Post # 106
bumblebug : I’m trying to sell the ring but it’s slow going and I’m working on paying it off among all my other bills. It’s not easy but I’ll figure it out. Thats the one reason why I don’t want to give him the ring without it being paid off because 2 months ago I would’ve said yea I trust him to keep his word, but now I don’t know. The ring is in my name and I don’t want my credit to be screwed up. And his whole reasoning was that how does he know I’ll give him the ring once he pays it off..like would I really want to keep it? Um yea…no!
Post # 107
I am trying to cut ties with everyone but me and his mom had such a good relationship but I don’t want to mention the ring to her because she’s been sick with brain cancer and I don’t want to be the reason to upset her more even though it’s her sons fault.
Post # 108
If you bought the ring on your credit card and you made the payments, then that ring is yours. I wouldn’t give it to him.
Post # 109
DO NOT GIVE HIM THE RING! That would be stupid. It’s in your name and you are paying for it. All you can do is ask him to keep his word and if he doesn’t, he doesn’t. You, at least, know what kind of dude he is (and likely not what you thought – everyone shows their true colors when things go south) and you can have peace knowing you don’t have to deal with this POS in your life anymore. There are many lessons to be learned here and I’m sure you are figuring them out. It sounds like you’re doing well. I second the PPs comment about cutting contact with his mom. At the end of the day, its her son and she has his back no matter what. She will likely get just as attached to the next series of women he strings along.
Now, you know to always keep your independence. Don’t rely on other people for your well-being, happiness, or even expenses. You just do/ worry about you and you will always know your worth which will prevent something like this from happening down the line. Those updates when you kept saying “I just want to hear it from him” and “I just want closure”. You could have had closure by giving it to yourself. You should have told him YOU were done and deserved better than what he was giving. ::hugs:: keep your head up, you’re doing great!
Post # 110
ezasabc123 : Looking back there’s so many things that I wouldn’t have said to him that I did say and you’re totally right saying that I could have had closure by giving it to myself. Obviously he didn’t have enough respect for me to break up with me to my face and took the cowardly way out. I agree with my sister when she said that I was just looking for reasons to text him, I didn’t believe her when she said that but it’s true. I cussed him out just to say something to him and then I texted him after apologizing and still asking for an explanation. I should’ve just took it for what it was. But i guess we all learn something right? This was my first real breakup so I was bound to make stupid mistakes. All I know is next time I won’t be making the same ones.
And you are totally right about not relying on other people for anything. I’m gonna cherish my independence and it’s gonna be something that I’m gonna be proud of. Thats something that I am working towards seriously right now.
Post # 111
Oh, ow! First break up is hell on earth. You just want to know why, why, why?!
Eventually, you figure out it doesn’t matter, it just is.
Someday, I’ll have to post about the time, decades ago, that I got dumped right after Christmas (he made sure he got his gift). I called everyone I ever knew in my life as I was getting completely smashed and had to go to work the next morning. I was working in a psychiatric residential treatment center with adolescents at the time. I showed up with a bottle of Pepto Bismol and passed it off as a flu bug. Staff knew better, but the kids were surprisingly compassionate. Pepto got me through the day.
Six months later, when he showed up on my doorstep (right on cue), I couldn’t remember what all of the fuss was about.
Oh, I guess I just did post about it.