(Closed) My Fiance Scolds Me for Planning?!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@katiebeary: My Fiance is the same way… We even have a date! we are 3 months out and he still hasn’t looked at tuxes… or done anything for that matter! He also gets upset saying “we have plenty of time”. NOOOOO we don’t!

Just plan girl! I did the same thing or else I would be getting married in a cardboard box on the side of the road wearing jeans haha

Post # 4
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If I was in your situation I would keep looking around for idea’s and such but don’t make anything set in stone. Once you get your ring you can start setting dates, appointments, etc. Try not to let your FI’s reaction bother you. My husband wasn’t very much into the planning either. I have a question… why would you need to send you invites our 6 months prior to the wedding?

Post # 5
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@katiebeary: Don’t plan it in secret. You need to be on the same page with this. You also don’t need to send out invitations six months in advance. Please don’t overwhlem him with asking about decorations, cake, colors, etc. My finace and I have our venue booked, and the Save-The-Date Cards have been mailed, so we’re definitely having a wedding, but he STILL doesn’t care about those details. If you’re not even on the same page about the timeline, you can’t expect him to care about the details.

Post # 6
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

First, you don’t need invites to go out 6 months before the wedding.  That’s a bit excessive, even with a bunch of people traveling.

Second, is your date really 12/1/16?

Third, if not, do you actually have a date?

Fourth, yeah, you start planning by yourself.  🙂  He’ll understand and actually appreciate it once he realizes how much work can go into this.

Post # 7
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@katiebeary: Definitely let him know just how much planning goes into a wedding. Tell him that by most standards you’re already behind. Guys don’t realize how much of a nightmare wedding planning can be because most times theyre not the ones doing it. I think if you talk to him calmly he should understand.

Post # 8
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@KristenGotMarried: I think there’s a difference between planning in secret and planning by yourself. Most brides probably plan by themselves but not in secret.

Post # 9
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree with @redheadem don’t plan in secret, do what you have to do for yourself (dress, flowers, etc.) but leave picking a date, venue, etc. to decide together. 

Post # 11
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@redheadem:  Totally agree.  There’s things you can do on your own, but there’s absolutely things that he should be involved with.

Post # 12
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@katiebeary: I would send STD’s not the inviations 6 months in advance.. people will put them to the side and forget.

Post # 13
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

@katiebeary: So if you’re getting married in 2012, then yeah, you gotta get planning! Let him know things tend to get booked a year in advance. I do think he def needs to be involved in major decisoins – setting a budget, picking a venue, but if he doesn’t care about cakes or decorations that’s normal.

Post # 14
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@katiebeary:  I’d nail down your date before anything else is done.  Many things can be affected by the date:  dress, venue, general feel/theme, food, you name it.  I would do that first thing, THEN work on planning the details.

And I must respectfully disagree with your mother about the invites.  You can send a Save the Date 6 months in advance, but an actual invitation that early – to me – is serious over-kill. 

Post # 16
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@katiebeary: We sent Save-The-Date Cards for the price of postcard postage. We got 100 free on vistaprint. Look it up! I definitely think it’s at least something worth looking into.

The topic ‘My Fiance Scolds Me for Planning?!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors