(Closed) My Fiance sends nude pics of himself out on the Internet?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
3947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

In my book, that’s cheating.   I wouldn’t say he has a “mental illness” but he obviously feels like he’s missing something somewhere and therefore is looking to find it somewhere else.  Not to any fault of yours.

But, if it were me…I would leave. Yesterday.

Post # 4
1077 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think it’s a mental illness, it’s something some guys are really into. They post stuff online and get back people talking about how attractive they are, what they would do with them, etc. and then leave it at that. Personally I think it’s a relatively harmless kink, but that depends largely on your relationship and what makes you comfortable. He certainly should have told you about this first, and he shouldn’t be posting his face out there (what if a friend found it first?). 




You have to trust your gut here. Do you think he was looking to cheat or do you think he was looking for attention only? Are you okay with either situation? 


ETA: If I was with a guy like this I would be furious that he was posting his face online with these pictures and that he didn’t tell me about it first. I would probably be cool with it in the long run, so long as he gave me access to everything when I asked for it to double check when I was feeling nervous about it.


Post # 5
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t be able to deal with that…I couldn’t explain that away.

Post # 6
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you need to talk to him about this, and not to anyone on the internet. But before you do, you need to ask yourself: is there ANY excuse that you would accept for this, and do you think you could get over it if he were sorry? Are you willing to go through whtat i am going to guess will be a very long time of not trusting him, and having to piece this relationship back together?

You went through his stuff….and I’m not going to flame you for it, but it does show that you obviously don’t trust him. In this case, that non-trust was justified, because something was up…but now that you’ve found something do you think you can ever really trust him again?

I also can’t think of a single “mental illness” that would in any way justify this. More than likely he is just a big old liar. 

Post # 7
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

That’s not a mental illness. That is someone who craves the attentions of multiple women. He will eventually no longer get the thrill from just talking online, and he will take it to the next step. So you can either nip this in the bud by getting him into counseling to figure out why he does this and how he will avoid this in the future (if he is willing to go to counseling) or you can run like hell.

Post # 8
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018


I call that cheating.  He doesn’t sound like he has a mental problem.  The fact that you would think that sounds like you want to make excuses for him.

Post # 9
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

How would he feel if you secretly posted up nude photos of yourself for other men via email? Even if you didn’t go meet them? A no-no and if he doesn’t see it, you should leave.

Post # 10
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

how do you know how many times a day he masturbates? just curious because i would never know. 

eta: honestly though it sounds likes he is just bored. Its NOT okay that he’s sending pictures but as long as he hasnt actually met up with someone then i think you guys just need to communicate. He’s looking for something he’s not getting from you, lets hope he doesnt find it. 

Post # 13
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@lilkatiebee:  hey at least now you have an excuse to buy new sheets

Post # 14
2914 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@lilkatiebee: Unless he is in treatment, I would not excuse his behavior as a “mental illness.” And why would you think YOU have a high sex drive if HE is masturbating three times a day? That doesn’t make sense. To me, this would be a serious situation that would need to be discussed and dealt with immediately.

Post # 15
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That’s cheating. I’m sorry your going through this. Leave. Leave now.

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