Ugh I just left a long comment, and this damn site erased it.
Bee, I am sorry. I had something like this happen a month ago. Tomorrow was to have been my wedding day…
i can tell you what worked for me. Today, while I mourn that the wedding isn’t happening, I am SO GRATEFUL I am not marrying a man who could pull the rug out from under me like that. Life can give us way harder things to deal with than a wedding –
if he can do this, DO NOT let him back in your life. DO NOT let him backpedal. Break things off with him, bee. He has proven he can’t be trusted.
Things that helped me: weekly therapy is really important – I don’t know where I’d be, healing-wise, without it.
The “mend” app is a great daily check-in.
“Getting past a breakup” by Susan Elliott is a good book.
I wrote so much more here, but lack the energy now. I’ll come back and add more later. Main thing to do right away is find your supports. People who will be there for you and listen. Not necessarily join into an attack-him-fest, as I’ve found that just magnifies the negative feelings – but people who will listen and just love you.
Take extra care of yourself at this time.
Detach from thinking about what he might think, or what he likes, and just radically, fervently, please yourself. Find yourself again.
So sorry, bee. I hope that in one month’s time, you’ll feel (as I do) so very grateful that you’re not marrying a man who, for whatever reason, wasn’t all-in with you. You deserve someone who is fully with you and deserving of your trust and love.