My Fiance wants to call off wedding 4 weeks to go

posted 1 year ago in United Kingdom
Post # 2
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee

I think we need more info here. Why is he wanting to cancel it?

How long have you been together? How old are you?

Any major issues in the relationship? Did this come out of the blue? Have you ever broken up in the past? 

 

Post # 3
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

Why does he want to call it off?

Sorry to hear this.

Post # 4
Member
6931 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Sorry to hear it but in the end you are better off. Something is making him feel this way, be it genuine problems in the relationship or him being a sleazebag. Doesn’t matter, getting married won’t fix it. Best to end it now than after the fact when it costs more and mutual property or children are involved. I think there are several bees who have been in this situation and hope you get good advice from them. Good luck to you

Post # 5
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Did he voice that in the middle of an argument? More info please

Post # 6
Member
13900 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sorry to hear this is on your plate.  Can you provide more context?

Post # 7
Member
698 posts
Busy bee

Ugh I just left a long comment, and this damn site erased it. 

Bee, I am sorry. I had something like this happen a month ago. Tomorrow was to have been my wedding day…

i can tell you what worked for me. Today, while I mourn that the wedding isn’t happening, I am SO GRATEFUL I am not marrying a man who could pull the rug out from under me like that. Life can give us way harder things to deal with than a wedding –

if he can do this, DO NOT let him back in your life. DO NOT let him backpedal. Break things off with him, bee. He has proven he can’t be trusted. 

Things that helped me: weekly therapy is really important – I don’t know where I’d be, healing-wise, without it. 

The “mend” app is a great daily check-in. 

“Getting past a breakup” by Susan Elliott is a good book. 

 

I wrote so much more here, but lack the energy now. I’ll come back and add more later. Main thing to do right away is find your supports. People who will be there for you and listen. Not necessarily join into an attack-him-fest, as I’ve found that just magnifies the negative feelings – but people who will listen and just love you. 

Take extra care of yourself at this time. 

Detach from thinking about what he might think, or what he likes, and just radically, fervently, please yourself. Find yourself again. 

 

So sorry, bee. I hope that in one month’s time, you’ll feel (as I do) so very grateful that you’re not marrying a man who, for whatever reason, wasn’t all-in with you. You deserve someone who is fully with you and deserving of your trust and love. 

Post # 8
Member
6141 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

View original reply
ahsoka :  wanted to say that you sound like you’re a strong, thoughtful and amazing person. Great advice, too!

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